


Secret Even to Yourself

by Daxolotl



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Drinking, F/F, Light Angst, Memory Alteration, Oblivious Kara Danvers, Pseudo-Incest, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2019-06-25
Packaged: 2019-07-06 03:18:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 77,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15877407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daxolotl/pseuds/Daxolotl
Summary: When the US military orders an investigation into the DEO with experimental technology that can read minds, the only way to keep Supergirl's identity safe is for J'onn to block everyone's memory of who she really is. For the first time in her life, Kara's secret identity really is a secret. To everyone.What are the investigators really searching for? What's their end goal? Where did they get the technology? And most importantly, why is Alex acting soweirdaround Supergirl all of a sudden?





	1. Mind Merges and Martian Margaritas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Edited note: the first chapter of this fic was published in September of 2018 - four months before the mind-wiped Alex plotline of Season 4 following a similar concept._
> 
> _This is a Season 2 AU, not anything related to the Season 4 plot! A few people have been surprised and confused since 4x10, so I wanted to clarify here, at the very beginning of the fic._

The gates to the DEO open and Kara slides through them, flicking her cape behind her as she hums along with the song playing on her phone. The sun is shining, her crops are flourishing, her skin is clear. Well, her skin is always clear, because of Kryptonian biology. But she likes the figure of speech. And the sun really _is_ shining.

"Agent Wainwright, Agent Dallas," she greets the two guards on the front door, beaming. They nod to her.

"Supergirl," she hears, muffled through the headphones.

She bounces past them, dancing her way to the elevator and swaying from side to side as she waits. It dings open. "Hey Winn!" The two smile at each other as Kara steps in, bouncing on her toes in the confined space and humming.

"Supergirl," he responds, laughing. "You're in a good mood."

"It's a good day!" she calls back; the doors open again and Kara practically flies out, snapping her fingers as she struts through the halls, passing by a couple of agents on her way. "Agent McAvoy, Agent Fischer. Love the ties!"

Fischer grins at her antics and they both step out of her way. "Supergirl."

She slides her way into the Ops Center backwards, dancing and greeting every agent she sees. One more spin and she's face to face with her sister and Agent Vasquez. "Morning Alex!" she grins.

Her grin falls as Alex looks away, focusing on the screens in front of her.

"Supergirl," Alex says, at length, and Kara's grin is fully replaced with a frown. Alex won't meet her eyes. What's happened this time? Did she forget an important event? Sister night? No, that was five days ago and they hugged a lot about Maggie. Did Maggie talk to her again? Did it go badly? Oh no. Did she accidentally tell someone her secret identity again?

Kara opens her mouth to say something.

"Supergirl!" J'onn's voice booms across the ops center and her gaze slips from Alex towards him. He gestures towards his office. She nods stiffly, looking back towards Alex once more before walking into the Director's office and closing the door behind her.

She pauses her song, pulling the headphones from her ears. The soundproofing of J'onn's office is good, and she finds herself hyperaware of every tiny noise in the room given the absence of the music. She taps her fingers against her leg, anxious.

"You, uh…you wanted to see me, Director?"

"You might want to sit down for this."

And she'd been having _such_ a nice day.

_ _ _

"Last night I received a communique from the Pentagon. It was long, and rambling, so I'll give you the executive summary. Starting tomorrow, the DEO will be under investigation."

Kara blinks. "Under investigation? For what? We haven't had a scandal in months! Not since the whole thing with you being exposed as a Green Martian, which, again, I'm _really_ sorry about."

"It's quite alright, Miss Danvers. What isn't is the fact that the US Military seems to have decided that the DEO is the perfect test subject for all their latest prototypes. You'd think they'd have learned better after Red Tornado, but apparently not." J'onn switches on a screen behind him, showing a strange-looking headset. "My friends in the Pentagon tell me that this is called a Psionic Scanning Interface. PSI, for short. I'm sure their lab techs are very proud of the acronym. It can, apparently, read minds. Copycats."

Kara freezes. Read minds? "That...that is a huge breach of privacy! People are entitled to their secrets!"

"Not in a secret government organisation they're not, Supergirl. That being said, there is one secret that needs to be protected above all others." He tilts his head towards Kara.

Right. Her secret. "That's, uh. I mean, that's fine, right? I mean, everyone who'd be involved in an investigation would already know about my secret identity? Right?"

"Your identity is on a strict need-to-know basis, and the US military are not counted on that list. I believe it would be in our best interests to stop them from finding out."

There's something in his words that makes Kara uneasy. "Our best interests?"

"Ordinarily, if they discovered your identity, we would simply have them sign the usual NDAs, with the threat of court martial if they stepped a toe out of line." That doesn't sounds too bad. Kara can tell there's a 'but' coming. "But. In this particular case, I feel like we have reason to be worried. The man who ordered the investigation formerly worked for Project Cadmus."

Of course. Kara tenses at the name.

"Given their enjoyment of dissecting aliens, I think we can safely assume to know what the investigation is really for. They want to discover your identity – though whether to expose you, to study you, or to target you, I don't currently know." J'onn pauses. "Tell me; how many people in the DEO do you think know about your secret identity?"

The uneasy feeling grows. She rubs her legs – anxiously tries to adjust non-existent glasses. "Uh…well, there's Alex, Winn, Lucy, you, Vasquez…any of the agents who were around when I first became Supergirl, since you called me 'Miss Danvers' then. And anyone who's seen me in the monitoring room with my glasses on."

"All of them know, Kara."

Oh. "Oh." She thought she'd been at least a _little_ more sneaky than that. "Dang it."

"Or, more precisely, all of them _knew_."

She freezes. Looks straight at him. Feels a shiver run down her spine. "What did you do?"

"It's a temporary measure. Once we deal with the investigation and go through the motions of it, I assure you-"

"What did you _do_ , J'onn?"

If his office wasn't soundproofed, she was certain the entire DEO would've heard that. As it is, it just makes the monitors on the walls shake a little.

"I blocked their memories, of yours and Superman's true identities." J'onn takes a slow breath. "All of them remembered Kara Danvers and Supergirl being the same person, but it was simple to adjust their memories, with their consent to do so. It's not that they don't know who you really are, they simply…wouldn't be able to remember, if prompted. Blocking a single memory with full consent is a lot more of an elegant science than trying to take someone's memories without their knowledge."

Kara's head is spinning. Everyone she passed by this morning – none of them could remember that she was Kara Danvers. They had no idea who Supergirl really was. A million questions whirl in her mind. "Is it permanent?" she eventually settles on asking.

"No. The block is simple and designed to break down. If they're exposed to anything that would remind them strongly that Kara and Supergirl are the same person – like, say, footage of you changing between the two, or anyone referring to Supergirl as 'Kara' or vice versa – the block will fall apart, and they'll remember everything. No permanent damage at all."

Okay. Okay. They all consented, and they'll remember eventually. That's okay. That's…the most important question jackhammers into Kara's mind a moment later, flooding through all logical thought. Her eyes widen and she jumps to her feet, slamming her hands on to J'onn's desk strongly enough to dent the metal.

"What about Alex? She grew up with me! Is this why she couldn't look at me today? What did this do to her?" She's shouting, panicked, she knows that, but J'onn seems to be taking it in stride. His calmness makes her even more panicked. She needs someone else to be freaking out here. She doesn't like it when she's the only one freaking out. Where's Winn?

J'onn holds his hands up, placating. It doesn't really help. "Most of the DEO knows you as Supergirl first – not remembering your true identity shouldn't affect their behaviour or personality. As for those closer to you, such as Agent Schott or Agent Danvers…I tweaked their memories slightly to compensate. Still temporary, I assure you, but just enough that the contradictions wouldn't overwhelm their minds." 

She lifts her hands from the desk slowly, wincing at the handprints she's left in the metal.

"Agent Schott believes Kara Danvers is a human friend from his time at CatCo, while Supergirl is an alien he met and helped design the uniform for, then began assisting." J'onn smiles at her gently, supportively. "Agent Danvers…believes that Supergirl is her friend and ally, while Kara is her human foster sister. I made sure the memories were stable when I spoke to her. She may be a little confused at the moment, but I promise you, Kara is still her sister, and Supergirl is still her friend. And when this is over, her memories will return in full, like everyone else's."

Kara takes a slow breath. "And she's okay?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I…guess she probably just didn't want to speak to me before you'd have a chance to debrief me on all this?" The reasoning sounds weak, but it's all she can come up with that doesn't involve her sister-who-doesn't-know-they're-sisters being angry at her for something. "J'onn...I'm sorry for yelling. And for denting your desk. I know you were helping, and this is the only way to keep me safe. I know you wouldn't have done this unless there was no other option."

_ _ _

Alex has vanished from the control room when Kara leaves J'onn's room a few minutes later. He'd wanted to talk to her about visiting James, Eliza, and Maxwell Lord; anyone with guest access to the DEO could potentially be questioned, and he worried about them going after weak links. She'd argued, but eventually caved. And she might have mentioned that if he wanted to do a more permanent mind-wipe on Lord, she wouldn't really complain.

After checking with Vasquez to make sure there are no threats active in the city, Kara wanders the labs. She's not there for any real reason, she doesn't think. She just needs to walk and think. And if she happens to run into her sister, then there's really not much she can do about that, is there?

Winn is the first one she runs into instead. He beams at her and gestures for her to join him at his station. "Supergirl! Just the girl I was looking for. The…super-girl I was looking for? That phrase doesn't really work when your name literally is Supergirl, y'know that?"

She laughs and nods along, following him and looking over his shoulder at his computer. She doesn't say anything yet, watching him for anything that doesn't seem like Winn. He seems normal so far.

"Sorry, J'onn's whole mind meld thing he did to all of us has my thoughts thrown off whenever I think of your name and it makes me get rambly about it. Do I really normally know your secret identity?" He spins in his chair a few times, looking at her curiously. "I mean, you look familiar, but I've known you for over a year now and we work together every day so of course you look familiar."

Kara laughs again and nods. "Yes, Winn. You normally know my secret identity. Is it weird to not know it now?" As fun as Winn seems to be being right now, she's a little worried by that. Wouldn't it be distressing to not be able to remember something?

He just shrugs. "Not really. It's like…there's this fog around it, but I kinda lose interest if I try to focus on it for too long? I know exactly who you are. You're Supergirl, and that's all that matters to me. National City's hero. Our hero." Another shrug, then he turns to face his computer like he didn't just say something insightful. "Anyway, that's not why I was looking for you. What I wanted to show you waaaas – this!" He changes tabs on his computer, revealing a design for what looks suspiciously like a new supersuit. "It's a new supersuit! The Winn Schott Junior House of El Mark 12."

"Mark 12? I don't remember getting to see the Mark 11." She grins at him and leans over his shoulder again, looking at the designs more closely. His pulse spikes when she mentions the Mark 11, and she gives him a side glance.

"The Mark 11 was a, uh, personal project, and it was vetoed before you ever got to see it. Agent Danvers was very specific about how she'd be killing me if I ever shortened the skirt. Or if I ever suggested thigh-high socks with suspenders again. I don't know why she was so against it, I thought she might like it, b-but, her words were very evocative. She should maybe look into a career in poetry, or writing, or…getting anger management classes."

Kara can't help but roll her eyes as Winn speaks. "Rao, are you ever going to stop trying to get me into comic book outfits?"

"Not for as long as Agent Danvers' threats stay threats instead of actions." He grins at her in return, and she smacks the back of his head. "Owww, Krypton super-strength!"

"I love the Mark 12, Winn. The nanopolymer mesh on the arms especially. My arms always seem to get ripped, so making them tougher sounds great."

Winn mumbles something about her arms _always_ being ripped and she raises her hand threateningly again. "Go, go! I showed you it, you approved, now get out of here before I develop a concussion!"

She laughs again and gives Winn a one-armed hug, stepping back out into the hall and taking a slow breath. He was still himself. Dorky, awkward, a little inappropriate, but…himself. Her worries start to drain away and her shoulders slump, perfect posture giving way as the stress leaves her body. She'd been so worried, but it seemed like J'onn really had done a good job.

A heartbeat reaches her ears and she lifts her head. There. Alex was in her lab – heart steady and stable. Kara finds she's walking towards the lab without really being aware of it, habit driving her to want to speak to her sister. A quick bit of X-ray vision shows her Alex focusing one some sort of alien device, picking it apart, brow knitted in concentration.

Kara rounds the last corner and knocks against the door before stepping in. Alex glances up, and her heart rate abruptly spikes. She looks down again, focusing on the trinket she's dismembering and looking outwardly composed despite her racing heart. Kara feels her calm leaving almost as soon as she finally got it back and hesitates a little.

After a few moments of silence, Alex seems to realise Kara isn't going to say anything on her own, and looks up again. "Supergirl. Can I help you with anything?"

Kara forces herself to relax. It's Alex. Even if she can't remember right now, it's still Alex. She doesn't need to be nervous, just herself. Or…herself without being too herself. This was all so confusing. She pastes a smile on her face instead of overthinking. "Just here to check in on my favourite agent."

Alex's heart rate starts to settle down again and her smile seems natural enough – the familiarity of it helps. "Well, I think Agent Schott is around here somewhere. Though I warn you, he's been trying to upgrade your suit again."

Kara rolls her eyes and takes a step closer. "Oh, come on, Alex. We both know you're my favourite agent. Even if you did shoot me with kryptonite when we first met, which Winn didn't." There we go. Throw in a few details that are true for Supergirl and Alex, not Kara and Alex. Sell it. She can do this. She hid her identity from Cat Grant for over a year, after all. "And Winn already ambushed me on the way over here."

Alex's smile widens, almost as wide as Kara remembers it being before she and Maggie…Kara shakes that thought off. Alex seems happy now. That's what matters.

"Technically, I wasn't the one who shot you with Kryptonite. I was just there for your interrogation with J'onn. I think Agent Wainwright might've been the one who shot you? It was a long time ago now."

"Agent Wainwright? I feel so betrayed! I brought him two packs of cookies for his son's fifth birthday!"

"Uh, no. You brought him _one_ pack of cookies, because you ate half a pack on your way over to the DEO, and we shared the other half later."

Oh, right. Kara forgot. In her defence, she had to stop a fire on the way over and using her freeze breath always makes her snacky. In her defence, a lot of things make her snacky.

"How're you doing with the whole…Martian Mind Merge thing? It hasn't shaken up your brain too much, has it?" She frowns a little, leaning against the wall and giving Alex a once-over.

"I'm doing fine! It's a little…odd, but it's okay. My thoughts are kind of fuzzy? I know I know who you really are, I just…can't remember it. But that isn't stressing me out like it should. But the fact that I'm not stressing out about it _is_ stressing me out." She laughs. "I guess J'onn can only manage to dampen the emotions around it to the Nth degree. Too many layers of anxiety out and eventually it reaches you."

Kara nods sympathetically and steps closer, placing a hand on Alex's. Alex's heart rate spikes again as she touches her, and this time she can feel it, not just hear it. "I'm sorry. For what it's worth, I'm sure the investigation shouldn't take too long. They'll find whatever they're looking for, I'll try to not punch the investigators into the sun, and then everyone will get their memories back."

Alex takes a shaky breath and then nods. "Yeah. It..." She trails off, and Kara tilts her head curiously. "Nothing. It was stupid."

"Nothing you say could be stupid, Alex," Kara reassures her.

Another breath. "When things are normal, when my memories are intact, we're…close, right?"

Kara almost laughs. Is that what Alex has been worried about? "Of course we're close! We're friends. If you're worried that's going to change while you can't remember my secret identity, then I promise you it won't. We'll be as close as always, and that is a K- a Supergirl guarantee."

"…Okay." Alex doesn't look relaxed, and Kara runs her thumb over Alex's knuckles. "Good. I'm glad we're close normally, and…I'm glad that won't change now."

Kara smiles and steps back. Alex seems almost to lean towards her as she moves away. "Okay. So don't worry about it, seriously. And don't let me distract you from that funky alien tech!"

She turns to leave the room, but Alex's voice stops her, rapid and unsure. "Would you like to go out for drinks with me tonight?" Kara turns back and looks at Alex, whose heart rate has spiked again and Kara is seriously starting to worry that she might be ill or something. "At, uh, the alien bar I mentioned a few weeks ago? I know you can't really be seen going out as Supergirl most of the time, but an alien bar's probably an exception, right?" Kara's silent for a moment, surprised and confused by seeing her sister rambling.. "Sorry, it was probably a stupid suggestion, you're probably really busy with saving the city and being a superhero and…"

"Of course I'll go, Alex. It's not like it's the first time I've gone out with friends, right?" She grins, and Alex seems to relax a little.

"You will? O-okay. Good. I'll understand if you need to bail early – a superhero never sleeps and all. I'll meet you at 8?"

Kara smiles widely and nods, turning back to leave the room and only letting herself frown once she's out of Alex's sightline. Alex was definitely acting oddly, and she was worried.

_ _ _

She stops two muggings, a car theft, and a jewellery store robbery that turns out to be by a middle-aged woman who felt entitled to the nicest necklace in the store. And throughout all of it, her thoughts stay on her exchange with Alex. She'd been….weird. Almost herself, but not quite. Awkward in places where Alex never was, even as their rapport and conversation came as easily as always. She was herself, just…hesitant. Weird.

Normally, she'd talk to someone about it. Normally, she'd talk to Alex about it. But right now, with her secret identity truly secret for the first time in her life, she can't. She floats above the city, listening to everything. Eyes closed, mind wandering, and ears picking up every sound around her. 

She's so focused that the sound of her phone ringing makes her drop a few feet in the air with a surprised yelp. 

She reaches for one boot and pulls out her Supergirl phone, only to curse as she realises that it's her Kara phone that's ringing. She hopes nobody's looking up to see Supergirl fall out of the sky then start taking off her boots in midair. She doesn't need that picture on the front page of CatCo Magazine tomorrow. She gets her Kara phone out instead and answers it on the fourth ring without checking the caller ID.

"Hi!"

"Kara!" Alex's voice fills her ears, and hearing Alex call her by her real name has her smiling. It's odd how much she'd missed it only from a single afternoon. "I'm meeting some friends for drinks tonight, and I have no idea what to wear. They only see me at work so I'm always wearing FBI gear, so I wanna look better than that, but then I ended up looking too casual and—"

Kara cuts Alex off. "Alex. Alex. Calm down. Breathe for a second, okay? It's just drinks with a friend. What's got you so worried about it?"

There's silence on the line for a few moments. "Nothing. Nothing. I just, I know I haven't really been going out much since the whole Maggie thing other than sister nights with you and game nights with the gang. This is the first time I've really gone out since then, so I want to…do it right, and I'm probably overthinking it all. Just…come over, please? I need you to take one look at the outfits on my bed and tell me what to wear within five seconds of getting here." A pause. "I'll bribe you with potstickers? Please, Kara."

Kara's heart had wrenched as Alex mentioned Maggie. Of course she's still hurting about all of that – of course she's going to freak out about going to the alien bar where she and Maggie got to know each other. Kara nods, then remembers it's a phone call. "I'll be right over. And don't you always bribe me with potstickers anyway?"

Alex laughs a little breathlessly, only to cut herself off as the sound of her falling over spills over the phone speakers. "Okay, I do not remember those boots being that ill-fitting."

"I'll be there in 20 minutes! Don't break any bones before I get there!"

Kara hangs up as Alex grumbles to herself, shoving her phone back into her pocket and pointing herself towards Alex's apartment.

_ _ _

Fifteen minutes and twenty three seconds later, Kara knocks on the door to Alex's apartment and adjusts her glasses. It opens a few seconds later, revealing a very harried-looking Alex. She's wearing a white button-up with a waistcoat over the top, with dark slacks. It would look great, if not for the fact that one sleeve is rolled up while the other isn't, and her shirt is only half tucked in. "Good, you're here. Help me!"

Kara's yanked into the apartment with enough force that she barely even needs to pretend to move with it, and looks around at the clothing covering almost every surface. Oh, Rao, this is even worse than she feared.

"I'm meant to be meeting her in less than an hour, and nothing looks right. I'm freaking out here, Kara." Alex rubs her eyes and rakes her fingers through her hair.

"Her? I thought you said you were meeting some friends?" She might know that Alex is just meeting with Supergirl, but Alex doesn't know she knows. Separating what people say to each of her identities is a habit at this point, and supposedly-naïve Kara would be focusing on that. So she does.

Alex waves off the question with a free hand as she reaches behind her desk to try and find something. "Work friend. You know me, I drink better with smaller numbers of people. Don't get any ideas about it, Kara." She reappears a moment later with a tube of lipstick, grinning in triumph at it.

Kara, for her part, barely listens to the answer and has no idea what sort of ideas she'd get about it. Instead, she plucks the lipstick from her sister's hand and throws it across the room where it rolls underneath Alex's bedside table. "Not that colour, it only goes with that one dark blue dress you wore once when you had to wear a dress for a D—for an FBI thing, and doesn't match any of the rest of your clothes. Go with the maroon." She busies herself with sorting through Alex's clothes, looking for the right things.

Alex frowns. "We don't even know what I'm wearing yet, why should I go with the—" Kara turns and gives A Look. Alex shuts up. Kara goes back to searching.

Things are quiet for a minute as Alex applies lipstick and Kara searches. Right up until Kara exclaims a loud "A-ha!" as she hefts a pair of dark skinny jeans from the pile of clothes. "Take your pants off, put these on instead. Keep the shirt, but tuck it in properly. Sleeves can go either way, but settle on one and stick to it. I love that waistcoat look on you, very classy butch, but not tonight. Go with your black leather jacket. And your normal boots."

Alex knows better than to argue, hopping out of her slacks and tossing them to the floor, pulling the jeans on instead. The shirt is tucked in, the sleeves are rolled up properly, and she shrugs on the leather jacket. "This?"

Kara nods, looking her sister up and down. "Definitely. You'll blow 'em away, Alex."

Alex smiles and tugs her shoes on, giving herself another quick once-over. "Okay. Potstickers are ordered, they'll be here in about 10 minutes so enjoy those. Thank you so much for this, Kara. Oh, and don't you dare watch the new series of Jessica Jones without me." Her smile is wide – wider than Kara can remember seeing it in the last few weeks, and Kara can't stop herself from stepping close for a hug.

She squeezes a little then steps back, beaming. Alex leaves the apartment three minutes later after triple-checking that she has her keys, her wallet, and her gun, and the moment the door is closed, Kara falls down on to the sofa. Seven minutes until potstickers, then she has to get back into Supergirl uniform and race to meet her sister for the night out she just prepared her sister for. It's been less than 12 hours since everyone lost their memories, and it's already completely exhausting.

It's only when she's halfway through the second box of potstickers that she realises Alex didn't have any of those strange heart palpitations she'd had at the DEO.

_ _ _

Supergirl is already at the bar when Alex walks in. Her cape is unclipped, wrapped around her waist and tied off like an improvised belt. She's had a few dozen looks from people, and no less than three aliens have offered to buy her a drink by the time she sees Alex and gets to her feet, grinning and waving her over. Alex's heart spikes again as she smiles, walking over and joining Kara at the bar.

"You look great! Love the shirt," she says, eyes roaming over Alex's outfit as if she wasn't the one who chose it for her.

Alex's cheeks flush a little. "Thank you. You look great too. I mean, you always look great, and it's your uniform so of course it looks great on you, I just mean…I've never seen your cape unclipped like that."

Alex never rambles like that. She sounds almost like Kara's clumsy persona, or like Clark Kent. Kara's unease settles deeper in her stomach, but she forces herself to smile.

"Thank you. I don't usually do anything casual dressed like this, and I figured the cape would just get in the way if we play pool or if I have more than two drinks." She gestures to the bartender and orders something glowing and orange for herself along with Alex's favourite bourbon. It's only after that she realises what she's done. "Oh, I'm sorry. Is that…I just kind of assumed that's what you'd want. If it isn't we can totally get you something else."

Alex places a hand on Kara's wrist, and the contact feels…different, somehow. A shiver runs through Kara's spine and she curses herself for not wearing her cape properly. She's getting cold.

"It's perfect. I'm surprised you remembered my favourite."

Kara shrugs, giggling nervously. "Like I said, we're friends."

The drinks arrive and Kara clinks her glowing mug with Alex's bourbon. An opportunity enters her mind as she sips on it, the taste biting at her tongue like humans describe pineapple. She doesn't know why Alex is acting strangely, but perhaps she can find out. "So, Alex. We don't usually talk about you at work. So tell me about yourself. Obviously I know you work for the FBI," she puts emphasis on the word, glancing at her surroundings, "and I know most of what's gone on in your life for the past year since I uh, came out. Since we're friends. But what about before then?"

Alex blinks at Kara, taking a slow drink of her bourbon. "Really? Wow. That's…going right for the deep, hard-hitting questions there, Supergirl. My sister would love you. Very journalistic."

"Kara, right? We've crossed paths a couple of times at CatCo. You two seem close?" As soon as the words are out of her mouth she knows it was bad to say them. What if Alex has a problem with Kara that she's been hiding? What if she tells Supergirl they're not very close, or that she thinks Kara is secretly selfish or annoying? She doesn't know if she'd be able to act cool about that. It'd feel like a punch to the gut, and she'd probably cry, and it would be a huge mess.

But then Alex nods, smiling so gently. "Kara, yeah. I always forget you two have met before. She's great. The closest family I have. She's always supported me through everything." She thinks for a moment, spinning her glass on the bar counter. "She's my foster sister, I don't know if I've ever mentioned that part. When she first arrived, I was…resentful. I thought she was taking the focus away from me. I didn't want a sister. I was kind of an asshole to her, to be honest. But she…she was amazing, and patient, and I couldn't help but adore her when I gave her a chance. We're inseparable now."

Something occurs to Alex and she claps her hands, grinning. "Oh! You would not believe how much she freaked out when she found out that I was working with Supergirl. She said, and I quote, 'I can't believe my favourite superhero gets to work with Supergirl'. She's always been sweet." Alex smiles fondly. "Sorry, you asked me about my past and I just started talking about Kara."

Hearing Alex speak so fondly of her, even if the memory she was talking about was a fabrication of J'onn's mental blocks, was amazing. Having a secret identity sometimes has its moments. Not many of them, but it does have them. Kara smiles at Alex. "Talk about whatever you're comfortable talking about! I don't mean to pry, I'm just…curious about you. Learning what's important to you is important to me." She frowns and her eyes go a little cross-eyed. "Did that sentence make sense? I think it did, but I lost track after the second 'important'."

Alex laughs and finishes off her bourbon. "Has anyone ever told you, Supergirl, that you're kind of a dork?"

Kara gasps, mock-affronted, and downs the last of her drink. "How dare you! People have called me many things in my life in many different languages, but never have I been called such a monstrous thing as a _dork_! I'll have your badge for this, Danvers!" That last sentence would have sounded a lot more intimidating if she didn't start giggling as she said it.

Alex is still laughing as she holds up a finger to the bartender, ordering another round.

This is good, Kara decides. It's different, but it's still…Kara and Alex. Things are okay. Normal. She rests her hand on Alex's wrist, and ignores the way her pulse spikes.

_ _ _

"Okay, you are definitely using your superspeed to land these shots!" Alex shouts as Kara sinks another pool ball.

"I don't need to cheat with superspeed to be good at pool, Alex. I had a good teacher, and I'm just good at physics." Another shot, and she sinks another ball. Just the black left now. She twirls her pool cue like a baton, grinning at her very grumpy-looking opponent. Alex's pout is almost enough to make her feel bad. Almost.

She's on her third Martian margarita and she's starting to feel the buzz. Alex is on her fifth bourbon but still seems sober. Not that it's helping her win this game. Kara grins and circles the table, stepping right in front of Alex for her last shot. It's a tricky angle, but as she settles low against the table, she thinks she can manage it. She hears Alex hiss in a breath behind her, hears her heart rate pick up again, and Kara takes the shot. Perfect.

She jumps back to her feet and starts dancing, laughter on her lips as she turns to face the loser. Alex seems zoned-out, face flushed as she seems to slowly notice the dancing Kryptonian in front of her. Okay, maybe Alex is more drunk than Kara thought.

Alex laughs and rolls her eyes. "Alright, alright, you win, dork. God, I knew you were ridiculous, but seeing it all in your uniform makes it even more obvious."

Kara grins and downs her drink before going back to the bar snacks she's been eating her way through. "Oh, no, I'm just as ridiculous out of the uniform."

Any double meanings are totally lost on her, but Alex, for her part, flushes and coughs as she attempted to take a sip of her bourbon, ending up with some up her nose. "Augh! Nooo, that burns!"

If Kara were sober, she'd probably be worried about it. But as it is, instead she just starts giggling. "Did you just snort bourbon? Rao, I knew you liked it, but that's a little extreme even for you."

Alex flips her the bird and puts her glass down, rubbing her face on her sleeve. "I blame you for that. I wasn't expecting Supergirl to even know how to say anything flirtatious."

A frown is her response as Kara slowly works things through. Oh. "OH! So that's why…no, no, I just meant I'm just as ridiculous when I'm not Supergirl, I wasn't suggesting…I mean, is it even flirting if I'd ended up implying I was ridiculous when…I feel like that's not really a good thing, right?"

There's a few moments of silence, and then Alex shrugs. "That depends. I happen to kinda like ridiculous people." There's a moment between the two of them, quiet and serious, then she shakes her head and lifts her now-empty glass. "I blame you for me losing that drink, so the next round's on you."

"Ohhh no, you're not getting me that easily. You lost the pool game fair and square, which means it's your round. _And_ you have to buy more bar peanuts since I'm almost out." She shoves a dozen salted peanuts into her mouth at once to demonstrate that.

Alex groans and steps towards the bar. "Fiiiine. But then I'm going to beat you at pool, and the next round will be all yours." She winks at Kara as she rounds the corner to walk towards the bar, and she blinks in surprise at the gesture. Tonight has been…odd. It's always nice to spend time with Alex, but spending time together like this, with them not acting like sisters, with Alex not knowing they're sisters, it's strange. Good strange, but strange.

She's torn from her thoughts as Alex arrives with two more drinks and a packet of peanuts pinned under her chin. She drops the peanuts on the pool table and passes Kara's drink to her, clinking their glasses. "Alright. Come on, Stargirl – it's time for me to show you what I can really do."

_ _ _

Kara wins the next three games of pool, too, and insists on walking Alex home. Or, in Kara's case, floating Alex home. Getting tipsy always makes her floaty. She doesn't want Alex alone at this time of night after that many drinks.

They arrive at Alex's apartment laughing as Kara floats horizontally, as if lying on an invisible magic carpet. "This is me. But you knew that already." She smiles and gestures to her building, and Kara sets herself on the floor, landing next to Alex to look her in the eyes. "Do you wanna come upstairs for some coffee or something?" The question seems to surprise Alex almost as much as Kara, as they both blink back and forth at one another.

"I'm okay, thank you. I should probably be getting home and to bed, in preparation of tomorrow's hangover. Lots of criminals to fight, and doing it with my head feeling like it's already been bashed in sounds great to me." Kara laughs awkwardly, but the laugh chokes off as Alex takes a step closer to her.

"I had fun tonight. I haven't really had much fun since…" She stops. Hesitates. "But this was nice. We should do it again some time."

Kara nods, feeling a little like she can't breathe, and a lot like she's not used to Alex standing this close to her without them hugging.

Alex hesitates again, brow furrowing, before she steps back, towards her door, almost stumbling over the first step. "Have a good night, Supergirl." 

Kara stands still, watching her sister unlock the front door and step inside, and waves to her gently before she's out of view. Once Kara's X-ray vision makes sure that Alex has reached her apartment safely, she sighs. "Good night, Alex. I had fun too."


	2. The New Normal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Okay. Wow. The amount of positive comments and kudos for the first chapter_ blew me away _. I want to thank each and every one of you – readers, commenters, kudos-ers. You've given me such a warm welcome, both to the Supergirl fandom generally, and to the Kalex fandom in particular. Thank you all,_ so _much, from the bottom of my heart. You make it a pleasure to write for you._
> 
> _As a plot-related aside before we get into things: this story takes place in early Season 2 – more specifically, after 2x06 (when Alex comes out to Kara, then gets rejected by Maggie) – and diverts from canon from there. Hopefully, the time period was clear to everyone by the mentions of Maggie, and of Alex's sexuality (and this chapter has a few more details to that effect), but I wanted to mention it in an author note to make sure! There are a few small differences from early season 2 canon – most notably, I don't currently plan on mentioning Mon-El or Guardian at all. Mon-El's lack of experience with Earth customs in early Season 2 would make him a wildcard to be questioned by the military and him being involved would draw too much focus from Kara and Alex, while Guardian just doesn't really fit into the narrative anywhere; sorry, James!_
> 
> _Now, on with the story!_

There's an alarm sounding. It's loud. It feels like it's driving Kryptonite jackhammers into her brain, in fact, if she was forced at gunpoint to describe it in more words. Not that the gun would do much, it was just the principle of the matter. Kara rolls over and slams her hand down on to the poor unfortunate alarm, listening to it break. Only her second this month – she might save a few dollars on her alarm budget this year. Her eyes squint open as she reaches for her Kara phone, checking the time.

6:45 am. Saturday. No CatCo today. Dang it, she could have slept in so much later. She groans and pulls her pillow over her head, but it's no use. She's awake now. No getting back to sleep.

She rolls over again, on to her back, and checks her notifications. Three comments on a Facebook post, a series of tweets from Winn about something related to the next Star Wars movie, and a text from Alex, sent at 2am last night. That last one makes her frown, the motion bringing forth more intensity to her headache. She opens the text before she has a chance to hurt herself with more facial expressions.

Alex ♥ –  
Hey Kara, thanks again four the clothes help. We still one for sister's night?  
Received – 2:16am

Kara giggles. Judging by the autocorrect mistakes, Alex was _slightly_ more drunk than she'd appeared last night. Normally, her sister's drinking could worry her, but last night she was out with Supergirl. Not at home or at a bar drinking alone. She was safe, having fun. Hopefully having fun. She seemed like she was having fun, at least, and she said she had a good night. She was probably having fun. Yeah. Her fingers type out a response absent-mindedly.

You –  
Any time! ♥ I hope you had a good time with your co-worker. And of course! Every Sunday, as always. Wouldn't miss it for the worlds. :)  
Sent – 6:48am

She sends off the text. Staggers out of bed, sways a little on her feet. "Rao, how does Alex manage to handle this so often?" She grips her head, groaning, and takes a step forwards. Okay. Not too bad. The room's only swaying a little. She puts on her sunniest Danvers smile and takes another step… and promptly kicks a chunk of wood from her bedframe. Splinters shower in front of her foot, across the floor.

Her smile drops.

"Perfect. Just perfect."

This is going to be a long day.

_ _ _

She doesn't dance into the DEO today. Instead, Agents Wainwright and Dallas are treated to the view of Supergirl landing at the front door, sipping on her coffee like it holds the answers to life's questions while balancing a second coffee cup and a box of donuts in the other arm.

"Morning, Supergirl," one says.

"Mmrgh."

The elevator is too loud. Everything is too loud, and too bright. She squints and wishes her Supergirl outfit included sunglasses. And lead-lined ear defenders.

She stumbles out of the elevator, all her usual grace gone, and grumbles about uneven steps and loud noises. A pair of agents pass by, giving her a wide berth, and she thanks the fact that she won't have to try and avoid them. Their heartbeats and footsteps are already _so loud_.

The Ops Center is the same as usual, a hubbub of activity that has Kara squinting against the screens.

"Any signs of the investigators?" she asks Vasquez, settling against her and trying to ignore the throbbing of her brain with every word.

"Arrived this morning, ma'am. They're getting settled in, and we'll let you know as soon as—" Vasquez trails off as she turns to face the superhero next to her. "Are you alright, ma'am?"

Kara manages a nod. "I drank something glowing last night and now everything is squiggly and throbbing."

Vasquez barks a laugh which has Kara wincing, and follows it up with an apologetic look. "I'm sorry to hear that, ma'am. In that case, we'll be sure to let you know about any situations _quietly_."

"Quietly?"

"The bare minimum number of foghorns, ma'am."

There's more grumbling and she bumps shoulders with Vasquez before taking her leave, drinking her coffee and wandering through the hallways. Once her head stops throbbing she'll do a few patrols of the city. But for now, she bumps into the door of Alex's lab and pushes it open with her hands full. Alex lifts her gaze from her work, eyes widening as she takes in the sight in front of her. She doesn't seem to be struggling with a hangover. Stupid heavyweight no-hangover drinker. Kara buries the annoyance and lifts up the coffee and donuts in her free arm. "Thought you might need some coffee. And breakfast, since I know you skip that too often and I hear it's the most important meal of the day."

Alex's face lights up, and Kara can't help but smile in return as she passes the coffee over and watches her take a grateful sip.

"Thaaank you. I've been craving that all morning." She takes another sip then puts the drink down, taking the box from Kara's arm. "Though I have to tell you, I don't think donuts really count as breakfast, Supergirl."

"How dare you speak such heresy?" Kara responds, faux-gasping.

Alex rolls her eyes but takes one of the donuts anyway, biting into it and leaning back against her desk to relax. 

Kara picks a donut out and starts going to town on it. Kryptonian phsyiology plus a hangover had left her with a serious hankering for everything. But especially donuts. "I had fun last night," she says, mouth full of sugary dough-y goodness. At least, she tries to say something like that. She hopes she put across the general gist, at least.

Alex's smile in response makes her eyes crinkle at the edges and it kind of lights up Kara's whole morning.

"So did I."

They stand for a while, both chewing on donuts (Kara's on her fifth by the time Alex starts on her second) and drinking coffee in companionable silence. It doesn't feel awkward, like it had yesterday morning. Just…nice.

"How are you holding up?" Kara blurts out, and internally lets out a string of family-friendly curses. She hadn't meant to ask about Maggie so inelegantly. Plus, she realises a moment later as she takes in Alex's confused facial expression, Supergirl isn't meant to even know that Alex has been questioning her sexuality, let alone having a crush on Detective Sawyer. The internal swearing intensifies to Kryptonian curse words, and she finds herself really hoping the mind-reading device doesn't work against her. "Uh, in regards to the investigation, I mean. You've been working in the lab a lot, and I know you only do that when you're taking your mind off something."

Alex blusters and makes noises of denial. "That's not true. I work in the lab when we've got a project that needs to be done. This is a project. It needs to get done."

Kara levels a look that could melt steel beams across the room. Metaphorically. She doesn't literally use her heat vision. She's learnt not to do that in Alex's lab. "You came here this morning without getting breakfast or coffee. Also, you're literally trying to repair a Daxamite Garrata ball. That's not a vital DEO project."

Alex grumbles under her breath, shoving the last of her second donut into her mouth to buy time as she chews on it. "…The investigators are worrying me," She eventually discloses, brushing her fingers clean of sugar. "The mind-reading technology they've got, if it works, is way more advanced than the US military should have. Wherever they got it, whoever made it, it's way ahead of even our tech. Project Cadmus, maybe, or Lord if he's back to his old tricks. I don't like it. And I especially don't like the idea of them getting in my head."

Kara steps forwards, putting sugar-coated hands on Alex's shoulders and listening to Alex's pulse spike yet again. It's growing to be oddly comforting to hear. It doesn't seem to be a health issue, just some weirdness about being near to Supergirl. "Whoever they are, wherever they got the technology from? You're smarter. We'll get through the investigation, and we'll find out everything there is to know about the people who ordered it, and we'll expose Cadmus as the organisation of terror we know it really is." She grins through her rambling. "And then, we'll find whoever's behind all of this and you'll punch them all in their faces, because you're _kind of_ a badass."

Alex's cheeks are flushed, eyes a little unfocused, but she nods. "Okay." She licks her lips, catching a bit of sugar that Kara hadn't noticed before, and her eyes flick down for a second.

They both stand there, Kara's hands on Alex's shoulders, for a few long moments.

There's a beep from one of the lab machines behind her, and Kara takes a step back to give another smile, taking a slow breath.

"If Supergirl believes in me, I've gotta be able to do it, right?" Alex tries to grin, tries to be lighthearted, but something in the room has shifted.

"I'll always believe in you, Alex."

_ _ _

She almost makes it out on patrol. She's so close, she can taste the fresh air through the balcony. If she hadn't stopped to put the coffee cups in the recycling, she'd have made it. Stupid eco-friendly impulses.

"Supergirl?" A man asks, and when Kara looks up from doing her part to save the planet, she sees a pair of men in military uniform. Oh, no. "Can you come with us, please? We'd like to ask you some questions."

Dang it.

"Can it wait for a bit? There's a, uh—" she listens to the sounds of the city. Someone is loudly quitting his job in an office building, and a rude old man is yelling at a cashier at…Barnes & Noble? Who yells at cashiers in book stores? But there's no crimes she can hear. Not even any little ones. She opens her mouth to lie about what she needs to do. It's simple. She lies all the time. "—never mind, it sounded like there was a robbery going on but, uh, there wasn't."

_Dang it._

"Alright. Follow us, please."

She grumbles all the way to the interrogation room, feeling like a child being called into the Principal's office. At least, she assumes this is what it feels like. She never really had that happen, but she saw Alex end up there often enough that she feels like she knows the emotion. All of the DEO is watching as she walks with them, some more stealthily than others. Either way, when the door closes behind her she feels an uncomfortable sense of being out of her depth.

The head interviewer, a man with far too many badges and medals, steps forwards and holds out his hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Supergirl. My daughters are big fans of yours." He smiles, and Kara finds herself relaxing a little. Okay. Maybe this won't be the evil interrogation she was expecting. She shakes his hand carefully; she doesn't want to break an investigator's hand by accident.

"My name's Clark. Colonel Clark Tucker. Please, have a seat and we'll begin."

She sits, and immediately another soldier steps forwards, attaching a pair of wires to either side of her head carefully. The gloop they use for good connections to the sensors is kind of tingly. "You know that won't work on me, right?" Kara points to the strange, bulky device in the corner.

"And what makes you so certain of that, Supergirl?" The colonel wasn't kidding. As soon as she sat down, he was all business, taking his seat opposite her and pulling out a handful of papers.

"Because J'onn's psychic abilities can't read my thoughts, even when I'm weakened. And the chances of the military developing something even more advanced than Martian psychic powers in the past three months seems a little…out there, y'know?"

The technician closest to the machine flicks on a display. After a few seconds of silence, he gives a shrug towards them both.

"It seems you're right. But that's fine. It's still in its prototype phase, and testing it on human subjects is the main reason we were given it, anyway. It's still no replacement for good old-fashioned investigation." Clark smiles, and for a moment he reminds her of the other Clark she knows, from Kansas. "Please state your name for the purposes of this interview."

"Supergirl."

"Your real name, please." His smile doesn't falter and his tone doesn't shift.

Kara frowns, making her confusion as over the top as she can manage, even though adjusting her facial expressions that much disagrees with the remains of her hangover. "My name is Supergirl. It's the name the people of Earth gave me. My Kryptonian name is gone. Nobody here, except my cousin, knows it now."

It's closer to the truth than she'd like. Everyone's forgotten. Even her mother's AI has been restricted from saying it; her first name could sabotage her, or give investigators a clue of where to look. For the foreseeable future, Supergirl has no other names – Kryptonian or human.

"Alright. Thank you for your honesty; I apologise if I made you uncomfortable. 'Supergirl Doe' just doesn't fit very well in my official forms. But, if that's your name, it'll be what I put down. Or maybe Jane Supergirl. I like both." He clicks his pen, the sharp noise making Kara wince a little, and scribbles something down. "Any other pseudonyms that may be pertinent to our internal investigation?"

"Well, considering I don't know what exactly you're investigating, I don't know what would be pertinent." She pauses, scratching the side of her head. "But no. No other pseudonyms, unless you're counting 'Girl of Steel' or 'Maid of Might'. I think Maxwell Lord called me a girl scout once. Oh, and my enemies call me lots of things, but I don't really want to repeat those in polite company if that's okay."

"That's quite alright, thank you, Supergirl." The Colonel flips through the papers in front of him, and Kara resists the urge to use X-ray vision to see what's written on them all. "As to our investigation, we believe that there may be a traitor within the DEO. Several pieces of classified intelligence and technology based on alien designs recently found their way into the hands of various criminal and terrorist groups across the world, and the DEO has the most access to both of those."

Kara crosses her arms over her chest. "We have a mind-reading alien as our Director. I feel like any traitor would've been found out by now. Besides, didn't Cadmus recently declare war against aliens? They were part of the US military, and had alien technology. Wouldn't any leaks be more likely from them?"

He grins. "Of course. You know, you'd make a good investigator, Supergirl. Or maybe a journalist. Cat Grant seems fond of you, I'm sure she'd put in a good word for you if you ever got tired of being a superhero. You're right, of course. But with Cadmus having gone underground, we're investigating all avenues rather than simply assuming a rogue group is responsible for all of our woes. Perhaps Director J'onn J'onzz gives a little too much privacy to his agents. It's documented that he avoids using some of his more powerful abilities for fear of attracting White Martians to Earth. He might not pry quite deeply enough into people's minds."

"And you will?"

"That's the goal, Supergirl." Tucker smiles again. "Now. Please tell me about your clearance level within the DEO."

She opens her mouth to respond when there's a knock on the door. A soldier opens it to reveal Vasquez. "Sorry to interrupt, sirs, ma'am. But there's a situation at L-Corp. We need Supergirl."

Kara doesn't wait for a response from the Colonel. She yanks the sensors from her forehead and launches herself forwards. She's out of the balcony in less than a second, and on her way to L-Corp.

_ _ _

'A situation', as it turns out, turns out to be an alien and an assassination attempt. A van had driven through the front door of L-Corp and dropped a large, angry alien into the lobby. As far as assassination attempts go, it's far less impressive and less precise than putting bombs everywhere, but it's still a danger to the public.

She lands in the lobby, looking around at the damage and the alien still on the loose. A security guard is cornered, clutching a broken arm. A number of employees are hiding behind the front desk, unable to get out. The alien itself seems more beast than sentient alien. Probably a hunting creature brought along by another species. Its scales are silvery, almost blinding. 

"Hey!" Kara calls out, shooting a quick burst of heat vision towards it. The beams reflect off the scales, destroying one of the few undamaged TVs left in the lobby. Whoops.

Even if the heat vision wasn't an effective weapon, it seems to get the alien's attention. It turns, baring its teeth and growling at her instead of the security guard. "Any advice for me?" she asks over her comms, circling it and waiting for it to make the first move.

"One moment," Winn says. "The response team is five minutes out."

It leaps at her, claws out and teeth bared. It's fast, but she's faster, dodging the leap and grabbing it by the tail to lift it and throw it into a pillar. It drops with a whine that makes her feel a little bad for it. Right up until its tail starts to vibrate, scales sticking out as they scrape against her fingers hard enough to hurt. She steps back in surprise, flexing her fingers to make sure they're not cut open, and it takes the opportunity to climb to its feet and leap again.

This time, she doesn't manage to dodge. It knocks her down with the force of the impact, pinning her to the floor and biting down on her arm. "Any time now!"

"Give me juuuuust a second."

"WINN!" She punches it, knocking it off her. Her left sleeve is ruined, again.

"Okay, okay! No need to shout. It's a Keltorian Hound. Comes from the planet Keltor, used as a hunting dog by—"

"It just tore half my sleeve apart," she says, circling the alien.

"Okay, I get it, skipping the history lesson and getting my sewing kit ready! It's magnetic – anything metal will stick to it pretty well. Just make sure it's tough enough to not get cut apart."

Magnetic. Okay. She could deal with that. She kicks off the floor, hovering then throwing herself towards the hound. She grabs it, locking it in a headlock and kicking off a lobby pillar to fly out of the front door. It fights against her grip, throwing her off and sending her smashing into a light pole. The whole thing bends with the force of the impact. Okay. That'll work. She steps to her feet, grabbing the light pole and yanking it out of the ground. "Sorry," she mutters apologetically as she thinks about the civil engineering workers who have to clean up after her.

The next time it charges, she's ready. She slams the light pole forwards, smacking the beast in the chest and feeling the pull of magnetism. She bends the pole around the hound quickly, until it's restricted to struggling rather than clawing her uniform apart. From there, it's easy to heat vision the knotted metal, melting it to the floor. 

The hound is still thrashing and trying to bite at her, but it's not going anywhere. Supergirl steps back, gasping. "Keltorian contained," she says. The security guard is on his radio, working even with his broken arm, and the formerly-trapped workers are staring at her to see if it's safe. She waves to them, smiling.

The DEO first responders arrive two minutes later. She's working on helping out the last of the people, having already carried the injured security guard to an ambulance.

As the agents lift the Keltorian Hound into a truck, Alex walks over to Kara. "Supergirl. Nice work back there. It's a good day when we don't have to run in guns-blazing."

"Really? I thought you enjoyed the whole guns-blazing part. Come on, you even brought an extra pistol. You only do that when you're looking forward to firing two guns at a big scary alien. It's okay, you can admit it." She grins. "Your secret's safe with me."

Alex blushes and laughs a little, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "Okay, maybe I was looking forward to it a _little_. But getting here and seeing you've dealt with the problem without any troubles is its own type of fun, too." She pauses, staring at Supergirl's face for a moment. "You've, uh. You've got a little gloop on your head from the sensors." 

Kara flushes with embarrassment and rubs the side of her head. "Did I get it?"

"Perfect," she says, smiling. "I'll see you back at the DEO?"

"Actually, I'll probably be a little delayed?" Kara glances around the lobby. "I want to check in with Miss Luthor, but I'll meet you there." She's quickly coming to think of Lena as a friend, and wants to make sure she isn't too shaken up by yet another assassination attempt.

"O-oh. Okay. Sure thing, Supergirl. I'll, uh. I'll see you back there." Alex's words are stilted, suddenly awkward, and Kara frowns. She opens her mouth to ask if everything's okay, but Alex is already walking back to her team, talking to one of the other agents in a strict tone about the alien they're handling.

With one last concerned look towards the truck, Kara takes off and swoops her way to the CEO's balcony. She doesn't even have to knock when she arrives. Her feet tap down on the balcony, and Lena Luthor is already turning to open the door.

"Supergirl. Thank you for your work here today. If you hadn't been there, I imagine a lot more people would've been hurt, a lot more seriously than they were." She crosses her arms over her chest, leaning back against her desk. It's a posture of confidence, and Kara finds herself putting her hands on her hips as she steps through the door, to try and feel as confident as the CEO seems to effortlessly be.

"It's no trouble, Miss Luthor. I'm always happy to help. The alien is contained, and the FBI is working on finding any footage of the van that drove in – I doubt the plates will get them anywhere, knowing your brother, but it's important to investigate every detail. Maybe they'll find something."

"You work closely with," Lena pauses, "the FBI, don't you? Very different to your cousin in Metropolis. You seem close with the agents, considering how often they arrive on the scene with you."

Kara nods, reining herself in to keep it a short, quick nod instead of giving it the enthusiasm her work with the DEO deserves. "Most of Metropolis' issues are common criminals and emergencies, so K—Superman works with the emergency services. But National City has the highest alien population in the world, some of them from a former Kryptonian prison ship. The police don't have the resources to deal with most of them, when they threaten people."

She hums in response, pacing around her desk. "I suppose it's you I have to thank for Agent Danvers being there, that day at the renaming ceremony. I doubt any of them particularly wanted to give a Luthor the benefit of the doubt."

"I think of you as a friend, Miss Luthor. Or, if that's a little too…forward of me, then at least as an ally. And wow, has my life changed a lot in the past year that I'm referring to people as my 'allies' now." She laughs a little, adjusting non-existent glasses, and Lena smiles. "You want to help people, and the world. You've proved that to me enough times at this point. And given the threat to you…I feel like the FBI would've been there at the renaming ceremony even if I hadn't personally vouched for you."

Lena pauses, smirking a little. "So what you're saying is that you _did_ personally vouch for me." Kara opens her mouth to say something flustered, but Lena just laughs. "I appreciate it, Supergirl. And, again, I thank you for your service. It seems you've saved my life and my company yet again. I'm going to need to start a tally of how many favours I owe you, at this rate."

Kara steps out on to the balcony again, turning back to face the office for just a moment. "You don't owe me a thing, Miss Luthor," she says simply, leaping from the edge.

_ _ _

When Supergirl lands on the DEO's balcony, all the agents seem preoccupied staring at the interrogation room door. "Hey, I'm back." 

Nobody acknowledges her. 

She walks up to Alex and waves a hand in front of her face. "Hey. What's happening?"

Alex blinks in surprise. "Sorry, Supergirl. They started with their interviews, and Agent Schott was their first unlucky victim. Our most recently-hired agent. They might be working backwards through the ranks, which means I've got a long wait before my interview will be out of the way."

"Poor Winn. Wait, but that doesn't explain why everyone's staring."

Alex smirks. "Vasquez took bets on how long it'll take them to throw him out of the interview room. I can't imagine hearing his every thought."

"Oh, come on," Kara scoffs. "He's not _that_ bad. He's just kind of nerdy. I happen to know you're kind of nerdy too, so don't even try to act like it's a bad thing."

"Nerdy? Damn, Supergirl, and you said me calling you a dork was bad. I'm an agent in a classified government organisation that hunts down and fights aliens and saves the world. There's no way that classes as nerdy."

Kara crosses her arms with an amused look. "Y'know who else fits that description? Fox Mulder. And he's the second-biggest nerd I can imagine."

"Mulder?" Alex steps back, an affronted expression on her face. "Alright, Scully, I see how it is. Harsh. But the truth is out there."

Kara giggles, glad to see that whatever had made Alex feel so tense and awkward earlier seemed to be gone now. She bumps shoulders with Alex, stepping closer again as they look towards the door. "Technically, the truth is in here, y'know." She wrinkles her nose in distaste as a thought occurs to her. "Does that mean J'onn is the Smoking Man?"

Whatever response Alex might have to that is interrupted when the door opens and Winn hurriedly exits the interrogation room. There's a collective groan through most of the DEO including from Alex. "Next. Agent Khatri, please," one of the soldiers says, as the agents disperse and go back to their normal duties. A number of people pass by Vasquez and surreptitiously hand her money, who smirks and pockets the notes.

"Twelve and a half minutes. Damn. I had my money on them surviving fifteen," Alex mutters. Kara snorts in response as the subject of all the rumours approaches.

"Heyyyyy guys. Why was everyone gathered around staring at the door? Were you expecting me to give up classified secrets or start screaming or something? Because lemme tell you, the interview really wasn't that bad! They put these nodes on my head, and for a second I thought it would be like A Clockwork Orange with the eye things, or like Blade Runner with the cameras pointed at my face which would've made me seriously uncomfortable, but they didn't do any of that. It was kind of underwhelming, honestly. I expected my first interrogation at a clandestine government agency to be more spy thriller and less 'Pam from HR has received a complaint'."

Alex gives Kara an I-told-you-so look as she walks away, passing Vasquez a twenty with a move so subtle that even Kara's super-vision struggles to spot the handover.

"Oh, and you'll be glad to hear that I'm pretty sure J'onn's mind block works against the PSI, since when they asked me what my relationship with Supergirl was, the guy on the machine shook his head, and the Colonel guy closed the interview pretty quickly after that. I didn't get to see the screen to make sure, but I feel like if they'd found something interesting they'd have looked less bored with it all."

Kara nods along as he speaks, following him to his work station and watching him pull out a handful of tools. "They'll want to speak to me again sometime, I'm sure. They didn't seem too happy their device didn't work on me, and they probably didn't like the interview being cut short." She pauses. "Are you sure you were okay with them reading your thoughts? It feels like such an invasion of privacy."

Winn scoffs and waves a hand dismissively. "Eh, it's fine. I've worked for a mind-reading alien as a secret agent for a few weeks now. 'Invasion of privacy' is something I'm used to. They probably checked my whole internet history before they hired me. And lemme tell you, I looked up a _lot_ of conspiracy theories when I heard they were thinking about it. I figure whoever checked it got really confused by the fact that the best friend of Supergirl seems like a flat-Earther who thinks the moon landing was faked by underground lizard people."

She giggles. "I can't answer the lizard people question, but if you could get us a couple of space suits and a jetpack I could probably take you to the moon so we could check for ourselves. Or, y'know, we could hijack my Kryptonian pod again."

"For as much as I am deeply tempted by that idea and the nerdy parts of me are _screaming_ at the opportunity, the coward parts of me are terrified of space and horrible space death. But hey, maybe you could take Alex for that sometime! That sounds like a good long weekend trip, and we know she's not scared of going to space. Make a date of it?"

Kara pauses, looking over towards the labs and listening for Alex's heartbeat as Winn gets to work looking at the damage to her sleeve. She finds it after a few seconds of searching, steady and sure, and she smiles. She'd been so ready to die for this planet, only a couple of months ago, and Alex was the one person she couldn't bring herself to say goodbye to in person. She knew if she started, she'd never be able to go. She'd tried to die to save the world, but in the end, Alex had saved her. Again.

"Yeah," she says, eventually. "That sounds nice."


	3. Nights and Lords

Kara's on patrol when her Supergirl phone starts ringing. More precisely, it starts ringing as she's stopping a mugging, which kind of makes her seem less intimidating. Still, she pins the would-be mugger to the wall, passes a stolen wallet back to his victim, and pulls her phone out of her boot.

"Hi, it's Supergirl."

There's murmuring on the other end of the line too indistinct for Kara to hear, then a noise of irritation. After a moment, Alex's voice comes through. "Sorry about that, Supergirl. There's a bit of a situation here at the DEO that I wanted to give you a heads-up about."

"A situation?" The mugger tries to fight against her grip, and she rolls her eyes. "Stop squirming. No, sorry, not you, Alex. I've got a mugger here, I'm waiting for the police. Anyway, what's the situation? Alien? Prison break?"

Alex starts responding, only to get cut off by a voice in the background. Kara hears Alex growl under her breath, clearly frustrated. "Worse," Alex says eventually, when the voice in the background stops, and Kara's heart leaps into her throat. Worse? That could only mean a few things. Her mind starts racing through the possibilities.

"What does 'worse' mean'?"

"Maxwell Lord is here."

Oh, _crap._

She pauses as she takes in that particular piece of information. "You're right, that _is_ worse." Alex laughs a little over the line, which Kara takes as a small victory. "So this is less of a 'come immediately, we need you to punch something' situation, and more of a 'please bring comfort food, coffee, and possibly alcohol' situation?"

The voice starts speaking again, and now Kara recognises the smug tones of Max Lord. She groans at the sound, rubbing her forehead.

"God yes," Alex says, simply.

"I'm on my way." She hangs up.

"Lady, come on, just let me go, I've learnt my lesson," the mugger says, struggling against her grip.

Kara sighs, turning herself and her prisoner around before letting him go. He staggers a little, rubbing his wrist. Then, predictably, he tries to punch her. He drops to his knees, clutching his hand in pain. "Uh huh. Learnt your lesson. Right. Why _always_ with the punching?" she rolls her eyes at the mugger, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and waving to the approaching police officers.

She finishes talking with the police about the interrupted mugging, and flies back to the nearby roof where she left her Noonan's order.

There's fluttering, and Kara gets a sinking feeling in her stomach. Oh, no. She rushes to the hideaway, and sure enough, pigeons worked out how to open her sticky bun box and have devoured every single one. To make matters worse, one of the coffee cups has been knocked over. If it was hers, she'd probably still go straight to the DEO, bunless, but from the dark stain on the roof and the faint smell of caramel coming from the surviving cup, it seems the birds maliciously and intentionally knocked over Alex's cup. She glares at the saboteurs as she gathers up the empty boxes, taking off to deposit them in a trash can before she flies all the way back to Noonan's.

She really hopes nothing happens after she gets this second order.

As she queues up, she puts her headphones in, humming along to music and trying to drown out the whispering voices of people excited to see her. She's just here for the coffee and sticky deliciousness that awaits her at the front of the line. She hears a child say her name excitedly, and come on, there's no way she can resist that, even if Max Lord is at the DEO and her first order got wasted. She turns towards the voice and waves, beaming. The way the little girl squeals and starts talking excitedly to her parents makes Kara's day feel a little better, and passes the time until she's at the front of the line.

"Hey again, Supergirl", the waitress, Cassie, says. "I wasn't expecting to see you again for another few hours. Big coffee day?"

"Pigeons ate my sticky buns," Kara responds, pouting dramatically. She reaches into her boot to pull out her wallet. "Can I get the same again? And don't you dare offer it on the house; you know I'm weak to the suggestion of free food but I will resist. You won't break me."

Cassie laughs in response as she picks out five sticky buns, boxing them up as the coffee machines work away. "Okay then. Four sticky buns, one caramel macchiato, and one black coffee."

Kara narrows her eyes at the box. She _saw_ her put five in there.

"Something wrong, Supergirl?" Cassie asks, the picture of innocence.

"You're sneaky," Kara mutters, handing over a pair of bills and picking up the coffee and sticky buns. "Don't think I don't know you're sneaky."

Cassie just laughs as Kara steps away. "Have a good day, Supergirl! Watch out for pigeons!" She waves at the child again as she leaves, a smile on her face. Okay. Maybe today won't be so bad.

_ _ _

It's bad.

It's really bad.

"Ooh, are those Noonan's sticky buns?" Winn says in lieu of greeting, reaching out to grab the box. Kara swats at his hand.

"Where's Lord? And, for that matter, where's Alex?"

"So you heaaaard," Winn begins, wincing. Winncing? "The investigators called him in today, buuuut they haven't told him when he'll be interviewed, and he isn't at the top of today's list. They're interviewing Fischer right now. Which means that Lord is now roaming the halls, bored, and complaining about the bureaucracy of the United States Government. And a bored self-proclaimed genius isn't really something we want wandering around freely? He needs an agent with him at all times to make sure he doesn't see anything classified above his clearance level or start trying to break into your AI chamber."

Kara crosses her arms over her chest. "So Alex is babysitting him."

"Alex is babysitting him."

"Now I really wish I'd picked up some bourbon for her."

Winn snorts in response, turning back to his computer screen. "That's her second-favourite thing after you, so if you want to cheer her up, you've probably gone with the best combination right now. She's in her lab." As Kara nods and starts walking away, he calls over his shoulder "Watch out for flying microscopes!"

She steps into Alex's lab, and immediately finds the agent pointing a scalpel across the room at Lord. Right. Okay, then.

"Lord," Kara says, stiffly. He opens his mouth to speak, but Alex points the scalpel more threateningly and he closes it again.

"Not a word, Lord. We've been over this. For as long as you're in my lab, you don't speak."

He holds his hands up, placating, an insufferable grin on his face.

"Supergirl," Alex greets, once it seems like Lord has clamped down the urge to speak. She put the scalpel down and takes the offered coffee cup.

"Sorry I'm late. There were a bunch of muggings, and the pigeons of National City have worked out how to open boxes." She puts the box of sticky buns down on the lab table, opening it and starting to eat one of the three left. She'd been hungry after all the crime fighting. She'd deserved some sticky bun lovin'.

Alex raises an eyebrow incredulously, taking a sip of her coffee and grabbing a sticky bun. "The pigeons?"

"They are my sworn enemies and must be defeated. No offence, Lord. You'll always be my first nemesis in my heart."

"I'm touched," he responds dryly, only to step back when Alex points the sticky bun at him, glaring. "Please never threaten me with baked goods. My life just flashed before my eyes."

"Yeah? Did it make you as tired of it as it makes the rest of us?" Alex counters, taking a bite of the sticky bun.

"You wound me, Agent Danvers."

"Not yet I haven't."

"Okay!" Kara says, stepping between the two of them. "And that's my cue to step in and stop the argument before Lord's nose gets mysteriously broken. Rao, you two."

"He made an evil clone of you. Also he poisoned you. Also he's just kind of a dick."

She levels a look at Alex.

"Fine. I'll be nice."

"You know," Lord steps forwards, reaching towards the box of sticky buns, picking the last one out and ignoring the glares from the Danvers'. "I'm intrigued about your secret identity, Supergirl. Considering the visit from Director J'onzz, at some point, I discovered it. Now, how could I have done that? The DEO wouldn't have been that careless, surely. Maybe I caught you with one of my drones." He takes a bite of the bun, chewing slowly and savouring the attention. "Or maybe! Just maybe, it was that camera I placed on Agent Danvers' handbag when she took me on a date to buy your Director time to impersonate me and break into my lab."

Kara tenses up. He can't know, right?

Max smirks, pleased at the reaction. "But what could possibly mean the two of you were close enough to casually speak in Supergirl's secret identity persona, so soon after our fake date? Well, that is the question of the hour."

Alex places her coffee and sticky bun down, and steps forwards. Her cheeks are flushed, her fists clenched. "You're out of line, Lord. Back off," she grinds out, barely restrained.

"Am I? I feel like plenty of lines have been crossed, and I'm not the one crossing them." His smirk widens further, and Kara steps forwards, crossing her arms and getting between Alex and Lord again. 

She opens her mouth to say something, anything, when her hearing picks up the most wonderful sound in the distance. The interrogation room door opening, and a soldier calling out Lord's name. "They're ready for you now. And I'd advise you not to stick around, after the interview's done."

"And miss out on Agent Danvers' charming company? Perish the thought." Max smiles, stepping past Kara to the doorway. "Don't go anywhere while I'm gone," he adds, finally walking out and leaving them in peace.

As soon as he's out of sight, Alex slumps against the wall. "Thanks for showing up when you did, Supergirl. Five more minutes of his snide condescension and I might've hurt him." She pauses, weighing her next words on her tongue before speaking again. "You know, when I first met him, I thought we had _chemistry_. I thought he was charming and handsome and as smart as me and everything I was supposed to want in a-a partner."

Kara scoffs. "Nobody's as smart as you, Alex. Just…don't let Winn hear me saying that, he'd get upset."

Alex laughs a little, blushing and rubbing the back of her neck. "What I'm trying to say is that…I spent a lot of time trying to be everything I was supposed to be, rather than what I really wanted to be. The perfect daughter, the perfect sister, the perfect student…although that last one didn't go great for me. The perfect DEO agent. I've never been in touch with what I wanted, and Max Lord, infuriating and obnoxious, seemed like exactly the sort of man all the stories told me to fall for."

"But?" Kara pries, just a little, picking up Alex's coffee and carrying it over to her. She takes it, brushing their fingers together for a moment, and smiles as she takes a sip. "There is a 'but' coming, right?"

"But I didn't. And for a long time, I thought I was…broken. I thought I wasn't built for love, or romance, or dating." She bites her lip. "I never really thought about the idea that maybe I was just looking for it in the wrong places. I'm - ugh. I've only told two people this, and I still haven't been able to really… say it, properly. I need time, before I can say it. But I want to tell you. Because, I mean…you're Supergirl. We're friends, and you can keep a secret, and I know you love everyone."

Kara smiles supportively. She knows where Alex is going with this, but Alex doesn't know that. Damn it, secret identities.

"I realised, recently, that…maybe the reason none of my relationships with men had ever felt right was… because they were men. That maybe, I was more capable of… being with…" Alex trails off, struggling with words a few times. "… _not_ men."

Kara's smile widens, and she wraps Alex in a hug.

Alex lets out a choking sob, and Kara tightens the embrace. "I'm. I know I'm meant to feel like I'm on some great journey of discovery, or feel like I finally understand myself. But instead, there's just _pain_. Because the first girl I realised I liked…"

"Oh, Alex. I'm proud of you. You did so, so well." She shushes Alex, stroking her hair. "Nobody has any one experience with coming out. You're not _supposed_ to feel any one specific thing – you're supposed to feel whatever you feel about it. And anything you feel is okay." She pauses. "Tell me about her."

Alex laughs a little, a wet sound coming from her throat between sobs. "That's almost exactly what Kara said to me. It's…it's Maggie. The detective we worked with against the Infernian? She and I got close, and she called me out for liking her, and I realised that…yeah. I do. And then, I told Maggie, and she…she doesn't want me. And now I'm just…questioning all my feelings, and trying to wrap my head around them all, and the one person I thought would be able to help me through it all doesn't…like me like that."

They stand like that for a few minutes, before Alex pulls back, brushing tears from her eyes. "Sorry. That. I didn't mean to start crying there. I just wanted to come out to you, and make it so that someone else knew other than Maggie and my sister, and then I just got hit by all my feelings on it."

Kara smiles. "Well, it's sister night for you tonight, right? Even if you're not comfortable with sharing this all with me, you can share it with her."

"I don't wanna bother her with it. She always has so much going on, and I'm meant to look after her. Crying on her couch doesn't really seem-"

Kara puts a finger on Alex's lips, and they both freeze. Alex stares, falling silent, and Kara stares back. "Talk to her. She wants to help, and wants to understand. You've spent your life looking after her. Let her help you, for a change."

Alex takes a slow breath, pulling Kara's hand away and finishing her coffee in a single long swig. "…Okay."

_ _ _

When Lord stops by the lab again, they've finished their sticky buns (Kara had the other half of Alex's – she wasn't hungry after crying), and Alex has cleaned up. She's back to looking professional, working on analysing an alien genetic compound as Kara sits on one of the lab benches, listening for any calls for Supergirl and keeping Alex company in her time of need.

"Agent Danvers, Supergirl."

"Lord," they say in unison.

"My interview here's complete. I expect I'll be hearing from your director once the investigators go on their merry way?"

"You'll be seeing us, Lord, don't worry," Alex says, not bothering to look up from her microscope in order to emphasise her threat.

"Speaking of seeing you, I was hoping to catch you, Alexandra." He clears his throat. "I was wondering if you wanted to get dinner with me tonight. No bugs and no ulterior motives this time, Scout's Honour."

"You were never a Boy Scout!" Kara half-yells.

"And you'll _always_ be a Girl Scout, Supergirl," he shoots back, before refocusing on Alex to give her a dazzling smile.

Alex looks deeply uncomfortable. "Thank you for the offer, Lord, but…no thank you. You're not my type."

Lord hums, stepping back with a frown on his face. "No, I suppose I'm not. Shame, I would've loved to have spent more time with you. Out of curiosity, who _is_ your type, Agent Danvers? Do you have more of a weakness for those that enforce our corrupt laws instead of trying to change them?"

Alex freezes up, and Kara uses a hint of super-speed to get between the two of them. "She said no. Now get out of here, you-you inconsiderate _jerkface_!"

That makes Max pause. He blinks, staring at Kara in disbelief. "Jerkface? Jerkface. I help save the world, and this is how the people thank me."

Alex manages to shake herself out of it, moving to stand side by side with Supergirl. "You heard the girl, Max. Get out of here." She pauses, weighing her next word. "Jerkface."

Max turns to leave, waving over his shoulder as he starts to walk away. "I'll be seeing you, Supergirl! Give my love to Cat, would you?" And then, finally, he's gone.

"Always has to get the last word in, doesn't he?" Kara crosses her arms, scowling towards the elevator until she hears it ding for the ground floor.

Alex snorts and scuffs her feet on the floor. "Yeah, that's him." She turns away, moving back to her station. "I, uh. Thanks. For the coffee, and the company while Lord was here, and for…listening, you know? It's scary."

Kara smiles and steps closer, placing a hand on Alex's shoulder. "I know. It…can I talk about when I came to Earth? I know that it's not the same thing, being an alien and being g…not straight," she stops herself from saying the word. Alex hasn't been able to say it yet, and she's not going to rush her into any labels. "I know they're totally different, despite how so many TV shows act like being a superhero is an equivalent to queer representation."

"Yeah." Alex makes a noise of annoyance. "I mean, yeah about the TV, but also yeah about talking. I'd like to hear what you have to say, if that's okay."

Kara grins, floating up to sit on the lab bench again, next to Alex. Alex gives up on pretending to work and moves to sit alongside her, lifting herself on to the table.

"I grew up on Krypton. You know that much. Until I was thirteen, I was the first daughter of the House of El. That was all I'd known. And then…the world exploded. And I was thrown into life on Earth. Overnight, everything I thought I knew about myself was gone. Everything I'd been taught, everything I'd learned, everything I was supposed to be. Changed, irreversibly. And for a long time, that was hard. Especially when I was hiding who I was."

She pauses, thinking back. "And for a long time, looking at my cousin, I thought that if I could just be myself, I'd feel better. That everything would become easy. And then, I saved your plane, and it…didn't. For a few weeks, yeah, things felt great. And then…I remember something I said to James, right before I destroyed Red Tornado. Being _myself_ doesn't make me feel more _normal_."

There's a shuddering breath from Alex, like all her worst fears are being confirmed.

"But." She reaches over, taking Alex's hand gently. "Yes, in the year since I've come out as Supergirl, I've realised that…being myself doesn't automatically make me feel happy, or normal. But it does allow me to work on my own happiness, and to find people who matter to me. Before I came out, there was…only really one person I let be close to me, and that was only because she knew my secret. I was happy with her, I felt normal with her, and I…existed, the rest of the time. But now? Now, I have so many friends. Being Supergirl didn't make me feel normal. But being honest about who I am has let me create a family I could've never even _dreamed_ of if none of them had known the truth. And that family? They make me feel _extraordinary _."__

__Alex smiles, tears in her eyes again, but she doesn't start crying this time._ _

__"What I'm trying to say is that…realising who you are won't automatically make you happy. Realising you're not straight won't fix every part of your life. But it will give you the potential for so much more."_ _

__Kara smiles softly, staring into Alex's eyes. They stay there, frozen in that moment, shoulder to shoulder._ _

__Then, like all things, it ends. There's a cry from across the city, and Kara's head jerks upwards. "I'm—I need to go. Will you be okay?"_ _

__"Go, Supergirl. Save the day." Alex takes a breath as if to steel herself, then gets up, blinking and putting on a smile. "I'm okay."_ _

__"Talk to Kara tonight. She wants to help, I promise."_ _

__As Kara superspeeds her way out of the DEO, she hears one last thing from Alex._ _

__"Yeah. We've got a lot to talk about."_ _

___ _ __ _

__She stays out, on Supergirl duty, for the rest of the day, helping with everything she can. She's about to call it a day and go to get ready for sister night when a fire gets reported on the other side of the city._ _

__By the time she makes it into her apartment, stinking of smoke, there's less than 20 minutes until Alex is set to arrive. She groans, peeling off her suit and putting it in the laundry hamper. She'll deal with that tomorrow. For now, she phones for pizza, superspeeds her way through a shower (it never feels as good as being able to take her time, but she manages), and is halfway changed into her comfy pants when she notices her phones flashing with a notifications._ _

__She checks the Supergirl phone first, in case of emergencies._ _

___Martian Manhugger –_  
Don't worry about your patrols for tonight, Supergirl. Maintaining your cover is important. I'll deal with any emergencies.  
Received – 5:38pm 

__Kara smiles at that. She has the night off. No interruptions to Sister Night. She puts her Supergirl Phone away and checks her Kara Phone. She's had a text from Alex. Sorry, _texts_ from Alex. Her eyes flick over the day's exchanges._ _

___Alex ♥ –_  
Are you on pizza duty or am I?  
Received – 3:06pm 

___You –_  
I got it this week! You bought me potstickers on Friday, so I owe you. ♥  
Sent – 3:08pm 

___Alex ♥ –_  
That was a fast reply. Are you even working?  
Received – 3:18pm 

___You –_  
I'm a journalist now! I make my own schedule.  
Sent – 3:21pm 

___Alex ♥ –_  
You're playing Candy Crush instead of writing again, aren't you?  
Received – 3:40pm 

___You –_  
You have no evidence.  
Sent – 3:41pm 

___Alex ♥ –_  
I'm heading out of the office here. You sure you don't need me to pick up anything?  
Received – 5:10pm 

___Alex ♥ –_  
You know what, I'm going to get a couple bottles of wine. You don't keep any good ones at your place. You remember you're getting the pizza tonight, right?  
Received – 5:29pm 

___Alex ♥ –_  
Kara?  
Received – 5:41pm 

__Oh, shoot._ _

__Kara's fingers fly over the keypad as she rushes to respond._ _

___You –_  
Pizzas are ordered! I'm sorry about the delayed messages, I'll tell you all about my day once you're here. ♥  
Sent – 5:55pm 

__She finishes getting dressed and superspeeds back to the hamper, piling her supersuit underneath her other laundry, just in case. She's not used to having to hide something from Alex. It doesn't sit comfortably with her, but she knows it's important._ _

__Eight and a half minutes later (not that Kara was counting), there's a knock on her door. "Aleeex," she greets as she opens the door. "Ooh, Alex with pizza," she amends, looking between the boxes in Alex's arms and the bag wrapped around her wrist and opting to take the pizzas off her hands._ _

__"Yeah, I caught Jessy on the way up, so I took the pizzas to save him the trip up. You owe me twenty bucks."_ _

__Kara places the pizzas down on the counter, opening one of the boxes and pulling a slice free. She starts chewing on it as she finds her purse, passing a twenty to Alex._ _

__"Come on, I've been here for less than a minute and you're already eating the pizza?" Alex levels a look at her sister._ _

__"What? I was hungry," she attempts to say, mouth far too full of cheesy goodness. Alex laughs, so she takes it as a victory._ _

__Alex takes a few steps into the apartment, pulling out a pair of bottles of wine, when she freezes and sniffs. "Do I smell smoke? You didn't try to cook again, did you?"_ _

__Oh no. Damn Alex's olfactory senses. "What? No! I know better than to try and cook. I was, um." Come on, come on. She comes up with covers all the time. She can do this. "I was across town working on an interview for an article when a fire started a few blocks away. I went to go watch Supergirl work." Alex seems to freeze slightly at the name. "I wanted to say hi, but she was too busy putting the fire out, so I came home while she was still working and had a shower. I don't think I got all of the smoke-smell out of my hair."_ _

__Alex smiles softly and nods, seemingly satisfied with the answer._ _

__"Come on come on come on, I've been missing my Jessica Jones fix." Kara practically drags her over to the sofa, carrying the pizza boxes in one hand as Alex brings the wine with her. They settle in, tap pizza slices together daintily, and get ready to watch Kara's favourite female superhero (Alex's third-favourite – she says a real hero should be brighter and more of a force for good, instead of a leather-jacket-wearing badass with a dark past)._ _

___ _ __ _

__They're two episodes in and three pizzas in. Kara's head has flopped on to Alex's shoulder, and Alex has been steadily working her way through the wine she brought. The episode finishes, and Kara reaches forwards to grab the remote, pausing. "Okay. Talking time."_ _

__Alex groans and lets her head fall back against the sofa. "Do I have to?"_ _

__"Something's on your mind. And not the same as it was last week. Last week was drown-your-sorrows drinking with me comforting you. This week is drinking like Eliza is in town and you're trying to bring yourself to talk to her. There's a distinct difference." She pokes Alex's cheek. "Plus, you're tense. You wanna tell me something, I know it."_ _

__"How did you get so good at reading me? I'm an FBI agent."_ _

__"And I'm your sister. I mean, at least you don't have anything as easy to read as the Crinkle."_ _

__"I love that crinkle."_ _

__Kara levels a look at Alex. "Your avoidance tactics and compliments won't distract me. Talk to me, please?"_ _

__There's a few seconds of silence, before Alex downs the rest of her glass of wine and nods. "Okay. Um…you know how when I, uh, told you about my feelings for Maggie, I told you about how I'd started thinking back to my past? To things I'd buried deep down?"_ _

__Kara nods slowly. "Yeah. Like with Vicki Donahue." Alex starts pouring herself another glass of wine. Kara plucks it out of her fingers and downs it, ignoring the scowl on Alex's face._ _

__"That was good wine, you know."_ _

__"Mm! It seemed like it was, so I wanted to try it for myself. And you're right, it's really good wine." Kara smiles. "Anyway, you were talking about your feelings?"_ _

__Alex sighs. "So, y'know, with everything that happened with Maggie, I was kind of—distracted by that. Focused there. My feelings were so new and intense, and she was the first person to ever call me out for them." She reaches down, gripping her knees and taking a deep breath. "And when I was thinking about it, I was just thinking about my past; about people I might've felt like that for before. I didn't…I never stopped to think that maybe there was someone else I was feeling like this for, in the _present_."_ _

__Oh. Well. That wasn't where Kara expected this conversation to go. "You…have feelings for someone?"_ _

__"I think so. I…no. I know so. I know that every time we spend time together it just…lights up my whole day. I know that I crave her company in a way that's a little scary. And the way she _smiles_ , Kara. I…I really like her." She smiles at Kara, and it lights up her night. "But I don't know what to do."_ _

__Kara takes Alex's hand. "So. You like a girl. And you just said all that gooey romantic stuff about her. And you're coming to _me_ for advice on it? Do I need to remind you how long my last relationship lasted?" She smirks. "I'm not exactly the expert here."_ _

__Alex groans. "Maybe, but you've at least dealt with having feelings over the past year, even if nobody was quite right for you. I need you to…I don't know. Tell me if I'm being crazy, or if this all seems like a rebound, or if I should tell her or stay quiet about it. I don't even know if she's g—into girls."_ _

__Kara turns them both so they're facing each other better, and moves her hands to hold Alex's shoulders gently. Okay. She can do this. She can give her sister dating advice. Her heart aches for her, and more than anything she wants Alex to be happy. So she really, really needs to not mess this advice up._ _

__"First, you're not being crazy. Let's just get that one out of the way real quick." She grins, squeezing Alex's shoulders. "Second…I can't tell you if it's a rebound or not. Did you meet her after Maggie? Is she someone you know well, or is she more of a stranger? Oh, and who is she – you're being cagey about that part."_ _

__Alex flushes red at that last question. Interesting. "You'd, uh. You'd laugh at me if I told you."_ _

__"I would _never_ laugh at you, Alex. Not about this, at least. I'll laugh when I throw a pillow into your face, or when you've got sweet and sour sauce on your cheek. But never about your feelings."_ _

__"I know that. But. Still. I…don't think I'm ready to tell you, yet, if that's okay. As for the rest…I've known her for a year. We've always been close. I don't—I know it _seems_ like a rebound, so soon after being rejected by Maggie, but I swear…the feelings have been there for a long time. Maybe the whole time I've known her. These feelings aren't me just trying to get over Maggie by asking out the first pretty girl I see. She's. I think I've felt this way about her for a long time. I _know_ I have."_ _

__Kara smiles widely. "There's your answer, then. See, you didn't need me to tell you it wasn't a rebound. You knew it wasn't, you just had to worry about it and overthink it all."_ _

__Alex rolls her eyes and gently punches Kara in the shoulder. Kara's really, really glad it's gentle, otherwise Alex's hand might've ended up bruised, and that would've been hard to explain. She overdramatically rubs her shoulder, pouting._ _

__"For the rest? Tell her. If she's your friend, even if she doesn't reciprocate, she won't let things be weird. And if she's weird or rude about it, I'll write a scathing article about her for CatCo. I can do that now, I'm a journalist." She wiggles her eyebrows. " _But_. If she's smart, she'll see you for the brilliant, wonderful, talented, _beautiful_ woman you are, and she'll feel the same way, and you'll go on dates, and fall in love, and do all the things that happen after dates."_ _

__Alex flushes bright red at that last comment, and Kara grins at, for once, being the one in the room who isn't scandalised or embarrassed about sex._ _

__"Honesty is the best policy, I promise you. Hiding things from the people closest to you is…hard, and even when it's scary, telling them the truth can lead to so much more. It's worth it, Alex."_ _

__There's a few moments of silence. Then, slowly, Alex nods. "Okay. I'll tell her. I'll tell her, and ask her if she wants to go out. On, a. On a date. With me." She tries to smile, but the conflict is clear in her eyes, and Kara wraps her in a tight hug. "When did you get so wise, Kar?"_ _

__Kara giggles, squeezing her sister a little more tightly than a human probably should. "Probably around the time you started being a dummy."_ _

__"Rude."_ _

__"It's okay, though." Kara kisses the top of Alex's head, smiling softly. "You're my dummy."_ _

__"Yeah, I am."_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, Kara, you really have no idea what you're getting yourself into, do you?
> 
> (Side note: yes, the character name "Jessy" for the pizza delivery guy who gets mentioned is a reference to [Pizza My Heart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15762801/chapters/36663300) by Shadows_of_the_Night11. Go check it out, it's a fun fic!)


	4. U-Haul Alien

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I wanted to get this finished and uploaded yesterday, to keep up the 1-week update schedule, but it just didn't happen. So, slightly belatedly, enjoy!_

How does a superhero clean her supersuit without her identity being revealed?

The answer to this question finds Kara in a DEO meeting room early on Monday morning, wearing a black DEO uniform and standing in her most Supergirl pose to avoid being recognised as herself. All while Winn tries to clean her suit of the soot and burning smell from last night. She doesn't know what magic chemicals Winn has, but she once tried to wash her suit at a normal laundromat, and it was the most angry she'd ever seen him. And she's seen someone tell him that Total Recall was a bad movie.

She's still there when Alex wanders past, checking a tablet and talking to a low-level agent. She walks right past the window to the meeting room, and then stops. She sends the agent ahead, before taking a few steps back until she's in full line of sight again. She's staring.

Kara waves.

Alex is still staring, and not saying anything. It's a little worrying. J'onn's mental blocks aren't failing, are they? She pushes open the door and steps out into the main floor of the DEO, just in case she needs to superspeed Alex away for another mind merge.

"Hey Alex!" She greets, acting normal.

"Supergirl," Alex eventually manages, voice choked. "That, um. That looks. Really good on you."

Oh. She glances down. "Really? It's just a DEO uniform. I wasn't sure if black was my colour."

"No. No, it _really_ is."

Kara smiles brightly. "Well, thank you. I'm glad you like it, but I'm not sure if my public image would really line up with dressing like a superspy all the time. I'm just waiting for my suit to be cleaned. Winn's working his magic on it, since it got all covered in soot last night from the fire. It was still useable, I just didn't really want to smell like a fire all day, y'know?"

Alex nods. "Yeah, Kara mentioned she'd seen you fighting fires last night."

"Ooh! How did Sister Night go?" she grins, enthusiastic despite the fact that she already knows how the night went. She's about to ask for more details when Winn scampers out with the suit folded in his hands.

"Cleaned, dried, and made to smell a little bit minty. With your shampoo you'll smell like a peach mojito." Winn says. Alex freezes up at that particular phrase. "I'm sorry, that was weird to say, wasn't it?" He holds out the suit, and Kara takes it thankfully. "It's all ready for superheroing."

Kara laughs and gives him a half-hug, superspeeding away to change, then superspeeding back to him.

"There's our Supergirl!" he greets.

"I was gone for like, ten seconds," She responds, fingers fiddling with her cape. "And don't worry, it didn't sound weird. The mint smells amazing, if I'm being honest."

Winn grins. "So, what's the plan for the day? Save the world? Talk to the military? Spend all day in Alex's lab pouting at her until she buys you an ice cream? Because I feel like she'd give you pretty much anything you wanted in about fifteen seconds, and then the whole DEO could get ice cream and—" Alex levels a glare at him. "—and I'm shutting up now."

"Actually," Kara glances at a clock on the wall. "I need to speak to J'onn, and then I gotta get to work. I need to be there in five minutes."

"Work?" He blinks.

"I've still got a day job, Winn! Not all of us can be cool DEO agents full-time."

"You're literally our most important agent. How have we not hired you." Winn looks deeply confused.

"Well, I wouldn't say I'm the _most_ important agent at the DEO," Kara glances over at Alex, poking her in the side gently and ignoring Winn's cough and whatever word he tried to poorly disguise in it – why would she want to whip anyone? "But I like my jobs. Both of them. They keep me grounded."

"Supergirl," Alex says, playing with her hair nervously and speaking up after her prolonged silence. "If, uh. If you've got some time later, can I talk with you about something? I know you've got work, I'm just. I'd really like to get a chance to talk to you."

"Of course!" Kara beams, hugging Winn and then Alex. "I'll head over when I can, and you can talk to me about whatever's on your mind!"

She doesn't wait for a response, super-speeding towards J'onn's office and knocking on it to the rhythm of Funky Cold Medina. The door buzzes open, and she steps inside, talking as soon as she closes the door and makes sure it's soundproofed. "Hey J'onn. I wanted to thank you for covering my patrols last night – I know you don't like transforming into me unless you have to."

J'onn shrugs, smiling at her. "It was no trouble. Maintaining your cover during the investigation is important, and Alex is my best agent as well as the one closest to you in both of your identities. If she became suspicious, it could be disastrous."

Kara crosses her arms. "And that's the only reason why you wanted me and Alex to have an uninterrupted Sister Night, right?" She quirks her eyebrow at him. J'onn, for his part, has the decency to look guilty.

"Her thoughts the past few weeks have been…loud. I didn't want to pry, truly, and any feelings she might have are her own to share. Everyone deserves their privacy, even here – even in the middle of this investigation." J'onn pauses, sighing. "Alex has always been locked-down. Professional. Uncaring about anything other than her family and her work. It was easy for her to compartmentalise when she didn't have anything else to think about."

Kara nods, slowly.

"She doesn't know how to guard feelings like this. She's never understood them before, and now that she does…they're all -consuming to her. I didn't want to overhear her, and I certainly never want to out her. It's just hard not to hear, when they're being broadcast across the entire DEO."

J'onn opens a pack of cookies, taking one before pointing the pack towards Kara. She frowns a little, then takes two.

"I don't suppose you know the identity of the mystery girl? She doesn't want to tell me." Wait. Kara pauses to chew, reconsidering her next words. "Which is fine!! I don't want to pry or push her, and I definitely don't want to be nosy and find out from you. I just want to know if you know. I'm nosy, but not 'going behind her back' levels of nosy."

That makes J'onn pause for a moment, chewing and then swallowing slowly. "She has her reasons for keeping it a secret. When she does tell you…try to take it with an open mind. She needs you, Kara."

That doesn't exactly make her feel more relaxed about Alex's mystery crush. But she nods. "I need her, too."

_ _ _

"Danvers. You were supposed to be here ten minutes ago," is her greeting to the bullpen after stopping a car crash on the way over.

"I am so, so sorry I'm late, Snapper, the bus was—"

"What about my greeting implied to you that I care?" Snapper throws a folder across the room and the way it slaps on to another reporter's desk makes Kara wince at the volume. "Wayne Enterprises has hired their first registered alien employee."

Kara's eyes widen. "Really? That's great news!"

He levels a glare towards her. "Oh, yes. That'll be the story. We'll just say 'great news' and all go for coffee. Facts, Miss Danvers, facts. You should know this by now. Hanson has the Gotham story. You're on L-Corp duty, since apparently you're the Luthor Whisperer. Go, get a statement about it."

Kara hesitates, waiting to see if he has anything more to tell her.

"Go!"

She's halfway to the elevator, reading through a folder of information on the story, when James stops her. More precisely, she bumps into James and almost knocks him down. "Oh, R-god, I am so sorry. Are you—James, hey! I'm so sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going."

James laughs it off, rubbing his shoulder and grinning at her. "No worries, it's been a while since someone overpowered me. You are _way_ stronger than you look, y'know that?" She starts offering a flustered response when he continues. "Want to talk in my office for a minute? Nothing serious, I promise, I just haven't seen my favourite CatCo employee in a few days."

Kara grins and falls into step walking with him. "You know Winn stopped working here weeks ago."

"I chose my words carefully!" James retorts. "Now, if I'd said favourite _person_ it might've been a closer battle between the two of you. But personally, considering how easily you just knocked me over, I'm putting my money on you coming out on top."

Kara giggles, closing the door after them as they settle into Cat's - James', now - office. It's odd how different Kara finds it with Cat gone.

"You're heading over to interview Lena Luthor, right? Snapper said he wanted to put you on that."

Kara's giggles subside, and she nods.

"Be careful with her. The Luthors…that family has hurt a lot of people, and Superman. I don't want you getting caught in the middle of some sort of feud between Lena and Supergirl."

"The Luthors didn't hurt a lot of people, James. _Lex_ hurt a lot of people. People should get a chance to grow beyond the deeds of their family. I've been trying that for thirteen years, y'know?" It's a low blow, bringing up her family, she knows. But she also knows that it's far too early in the morning to hear accusations of how all Luthors are evil. She crosses her arms, daring him to disagree.

James holds up his hands in surrender. "I know that. I'm not trying to say that we can't be different to our families, you know that. Winn is one of our best friends, and his dad doesn't define who he is. But murder isn't quite on the same scale as what Lex Luthor did. I'm not…look, I'm not saying Lena's bad. I'm just saying you should be careful. I don't want you to get hurt."

She keeps her arms crossed, until James starts to squirm.

"Anyway. Uh, so, did you get called in to Alex's workplace for the investigation? They want to talk to me today."

Really, James. Really. Kara puts on her best confused, lost expression. "You've been to Alex's lab? They're under _investigation_?"

He freezes up. "No?"

She quirks an eyebrow. "…How do you ever keep secrets? I swear, _Winn_ folds slower than you do! How the Supers trust you with their secret identities, I will never know." She's having too much fun with this. She should maybe have less fun with this.

"I, uh, I actually don't know their secret identities right now. My memories got altered by—"

Her eyebrow raises steadily further.

"—By nobody at all."

She giggles and steps close to hug him. "Okay. Because I love you, I'll pretend I didn't hear any of that, as curious as it all makes me." With one more parting grin, she races to the door and opens it. "Have a good day, try not to print any classified government secrets on the front page!"

She leaves him with a wink, his mouth agape in disbelief, letting the door swing closed behind her.

If she's got to have her identity being a mystery to everyone, she might as well have some _fun_ with it, right?

_ _ _

Okay. In Kara's defence, she didn't expect the car chase.

She didn't expect the rocket launcher.

And she _definitely_ didn't expect the teleportation device.

This is how she finds herself on the 17th floor of an accountancy firm with an unconscious bank robber, an unloaded bazooka, and a Subaru Impreza which definitely shouldn't have been able to get up here.

Rao, Snapper's going to kill her.

She sits on the car's hood, twiddling her thumbs and letting out a deep exhale as she waits for the DEO to arrive. If any of the windows had been broken open, she could easily fly the car out of the building. But they're all in one piece, and she doesn't really want to smash anything to get it out. Which means she's waiting for backup.

The elevator dings open, and six highly-trained agents blink at the sight in front of them. Kara waves, and that's all it takes to break their resolve. Alex starts laughing, snorting adorably as she approaches, which sets Kara off giggling. The rest of that team take that as approval to join in, laughing even as they start getting to work. "God, what is our job?" Alex says, stepping around the unconscious robber and the DEO agent cuffing him. "It doesn't get old, I know that much for sure."

Kara jumps off the hood of the car, stepping forwards a little too far into Alex's personal space before taking an awkward step back. "It doesn't get old, but I'm glad I'm not the one trying to get this out of here. No pressure, I'm sure it'll go _great_."

"I feel like I should make a joke about it being a Subaru," Alex eventually says, which starts a fresh round of giggles from Kara.

"Subaru found on seventeenth floor. 'It was faster than a U-Haul', claims driver."

Alex snorts again, and it's the best sound Kara has heard all day.

They stare at one another for a few moments, grinning as the rest of the team works on the car behind them. "Hey," Alex begins. "Have you got—"

An 8-bit version of the Imperial March starts playing, and Kara winces. That's her Snapper ringtone. "I'm really sorry, I have to take this," she says, not getting a chance to see Alex's reaction before she superspeeds away to answer her phone. "Snapper, hi!"

"Why is there no interview on my desk, Ponytail?"

"I'm still here with Lena right now. Sorry, she was in an important meeting when I got here and things have taken a little longer than expected. Would you like to speak with her?"

There's a few seconds of silence on the other end of the line, and she starts to think he's going to call her bluff. "No. Just get the interview then get back here. We can't wait around for you all day, it's bad enough that Liu is off work."

"Isn't his wife in labour?"

"So? He's not the one giving birth, is he?"

She opens her mouth to say something else, but he hangs up on her. Typical. Just typical. She superspeeds back to the DEO team. "Hi, I need to get back to work here, you guys can handle the car without me right? Okay, good. Cool." She gives a thumbs-up to them all, and Alex opens her mouth to say something, but Supergirl is already racing to the stairs, hopping the rail and floating right before her landing on the ground floor. She can still make it and get an interview. She just needs to make it…snappy. She groans at the pun.

_ _ _

As a mercy, when Kara Danvers walks into Lena's office, she isn't in the middle of a meeting. She's on the phone, and holds up a finger. Kara takes the opportunity to fix her hair a little, looking at her reflection in the glass of Lena's windows and hurriedly buttoning a button she managed to miss.

By the time Lena hangs up, she's back to looking presentable. Lena steps to her feet, beaming. "Kara, it's lovely to see you."

"You too!"

"Is this a social call, or an interview? Because either way, it means more time with you and less time speaking to the board, which I have _no_ complaints about."

They both take a seat and Kara laughs, fidgeting with her glasses. "I'm here on business, this time." Lena nods, smile fading the tiniest bit as she leans forwards to listen. "It's about the Wayne Enterprises news – they just announced the hiring of their first documented alien employee. An Almeracian who apparently came to Earth to try and escape the tyranny of her Queen, and whew, I really can't blame her for wanting to escape that woman." Oh, no, she said that last part out loud. "Anyway. So, that news is out, and my boss wanted me to come over to L-Corp and—"

"—And get the opinion of the public face of the Luthor family."

She winces. "I wouldn't quite say it like that. I'd more say that L-Corp is a competitor to Wayne Enterprises, and that your opinion matters to people and that it's important to see how rival companies react to each other's practises."

"Kara, please, it's okay." Lena smiles, reaching over the desk to stop Kara's gesticulating hand and hold it for a moment. "I know you don't think of me in the same light as my family. But a lot of people still do, and these interviews are my chance to try and prove to people that I'm not like my brother. So, go ahead."

Kara doesn't look entirely convinced, but she nods anyway. "Okay. So, um." She pulls her hand away reluctantly and clicks on her recorder, putting it down on the table between them and nodding. Rolls her shoulders back and gives herself just a little bit of Supergirl posture. "Miss Luthor. Wayne Enterprises has just announced the employment of their first documented alien employee. As a direct competitor to Wayne Enterprises, what are your thoughts?"

"I think it's great!" Lena responds, all warmth and enthusiasm. "It shows the Alien Amnesty Act is having a real impact in the world. Prejudice is an issue we have to continuously fight, but this is an important first step, and shows that the Alien Amnesty Act is working. It shows that with honesty, and openness about who we are, we can do great things. Before the Act passed, she wouldn't have been able to be employed, and Wayne Enterprises would be lacking an important voice."

"I'm glad to hear it. What about those that say that aliens are likely already working all over the country, and that having them be documented just draws attention to them?"

Lena thinks about it for only a couple of seconds, crossing her arms and giving a damnable smirk. "Well, for a start, those aliens you're talking about would have been working illegally, and I'd hope that now the Act has passed, they can start stepping into the light. Before this point, aliens had no legal protections unless they were able to get a fake human identity. Who knows how many companies or people make use of undocumented alien immigrants. Now, with Alien Amnesty, we can protect them with the weight of law behind us." Kara nods along with her words, and Lena leans forwards, all passion and grace. "Beyond that, the Act will hopefully allow non-human-passing aliens to find legal, safe work for the first time. An Almeracian or a Kryptonian might be able to pass as human and might have been able to find work before the Act, but a little green man wouldn't have been able to work anywhere in the public eye. Now they can."

Lena takes a moment as Kara smiles brightly at hearing her step up to the defence of aliens. Her words are a stark contrast to Kara's first impression of the woman wielding an alien detection device. "Plus, on a purely selfish level, I'm sure many of them have great knowledge, specialisations and abilities far in advance of our own. If they can be honest about that now, they could help the whole world. An Infernian could safely work in places too dangerous for humans, or a Coluan could advance our technology by decades with their knowledge and expertise. Now, they don't need to hide."

"You really believe that honesty will make us stronger." It slips out without much thought, and Kara catches herself a second later. "I mean—many aliens have hidden their identities to protect themselves from prejudice and violence, and hateful attacks. Supergirl and Superman may not wear a mask, but they hide their names from the world to keep those they care about safe."

Lena laughs. "Really, Kara, the Supers are two of the most gorgeous beings on the planet. Do you buy into the idea that they walk around all day pretending to be human, with day jobs, and nobody notices?"

Kara giggles nervously, adjusting her glasses and fidgeting. "I, uh. Would you like the 'gorgeous' part to be off the record?"

"Oh, no, I'm quite happy for Supergirl to know that part."

Oh, Rao. Is Lena flirting? Lena might be flirting. Kara's really bad at knowing when people are flirting, but this feels a little like it. Or. Flirting with her alternate identity? Or both? Oh, Rao.

"R-right. Okay. Uh, one final question then I'll get out of your hair. What are L-Corps hiring plans, moving forwards, in response to this news?"

"Why, is Supergirl looking for a job?" Lena smirks again, before leaning back in her chair. "In all seriousness, our hiring practises are the same as they've ever been. Anyone with a valid, legal US identity and appropriate backgrounds will be considered. Alien Amnesty means a blank slate. Any aliens who want to work with L-Corp to make a better world can send in their résumé, and they'll be given a fair assessment."

Kara nods, getting to her feet and clicking off her recorder. "Thank you so much, Lena. This was perfect. I promise not to twist your words or write a hack-job on you."

Lena steps around the table, holding out her hand for Kara to shake. She takes it, slowly, adjusting her glasses again. "I trust you to only tell the truth, Miss Danvers."

_ _ _

By 5pm, there's an interview transcript and a 500-word article on Snapper's desk. Between interviews, writing, emergencies, and juggling her secret identity with absolutely everyone without any backup to cover for her, Kara's exhausted.

Her home, and her shower, beckon to her from across the city, and it's only Eve's presence in the elevator that stops her from just going up to the roof and flying home. As it is, she makes small talk as they ride down together, and resigns herself to walking home like a normal person unless she can slip into an alleyway undetected somewhere.

She's almost home, just a couple of minutes away, when her DEO phone rings. "Noooo," she whines in defeat. Her sweet apartment, so near, yet so far. She pulls her phone out of her handbag, almost dropping her cardigan before she manages to answer.

"Supergirl," J'onn greets. "We have a situation. An alien fugitive was spotted on CCTV two hours ago."

"Two hours? Why only call me now?"

"We don't call you in for every single alien we need to capture, Supergirl," he says, and she can vaguely make out a hubbub of activity around him through the phone speakers. "This one was rated as a low threat, so we sent a DEO capture team to secure him alongside the NCPD. A Keltorian wanted for smuggling alien contraband. Their species has no superpowers to speak of; we thought he'd be a simple capture."

"What went wrong?" Kara asks, cutting to the chase as she superspeeds into her apartment, changing into her uniform.

"He has a Hound."

Ah, crap.

"The capture team is holding their position," J'onn elaborates. "Their weapons can't hurt the Keltorian Hound, but they've got a corral around the whole area with the NCPD to stop its owner from escaping."

"I'm on my way."

It's less than two minutes of flight away. She hears gunshots, and her vision lets her see the Keltorian's pet making a break for it out of the building it had been in, the metal creature charging the Science Division's line in a public park. She swoops in, a breakneck dive that has her slamming into the ground between the two groups. There's a moment of confusion, before the hound leaps towards her. This one's bigger than the other was, and angrier. She's sent reeling, the beast pinning her to the floor.

One of the police officers shoots at it from a distance. The first round ricochets off the beast's scales, and the second hits her in the side of the head, mushrooming flat before the magnetism of her opponent pulls it away, sticking to its scales. "Ow!" she yells, kicking the beast with a little more super-strength than she probably should in order to knock it away. "Don't shoot at a dog when it's right next to me! You could hit me. Or worse, the dog!" She directs her attention to the trigger-happy officer in question, glaring at him until the hound tackles her again.

"Sorry!" she hears, right before the beast opens its mouth to try and bite her face off. She raises an arm, gripping its jaw and holding it open. Teeth dig into her palm, sharp enough to hurt even her, and she grits her teeth. She glances around, frantic for anything tough and metal. Of course, she's fighting in a park. There's nothing useful nearby. Out of options, she launches herself into the air, beast still gnawing on her arm. At fifty feet, it looks annoyed. At a hundred feet, it looks a little worried.

Her eyes flick over the apartment block the hound had run out of. No substantial metal, not even a dumpster. When did her job become corralling alien dogs? The only thing is a power junction box on the corner of the building. "Huh," she says aloud. That might work.

She launches them both towards the apartment block, ripping through a chain-link fence that the beast's magnetism leaves wrapped around them both, approaching the building at over a hundred miles an hour. At the last second, she yanks herself upwards, slamming the hound into the junction box. There's arcs of energy, electricity flowing through them both with enough voltage to make her teeth tingle. Or is it wattage? She can never remember the Earth terms for it.

Either way, the lights to the whole apartment block drop, and the beast slumps in her arms. Sparks jump over its scales and she pokes it lightly, relieved to feel its heartbeat. She really didn't want to be known as the girl who electrocuted a dog to death, even if it was a scary alien dog. She steps back, rolling her neck out as the NCPD and DEO move in, weapons raised. "All yours," she says tiredly, tongue still a little numb from the shocks.

Kara sticks around for long enough to confirm that the Keltorian got away in the confusion and panic. Her shower is calling her back home when she hears Alex's voice, in the Keltorian's apartment. She's speaking to someone. She shouldn't snoop, she knows better, but Alex's tone of voice sounds a little odd, and she worries about everything. So she tunes in, and listens for whoever Alex is speaking to.

" _I've been working._ " Alex's voice.

" _Right, there must have been a lot of rogue aliens at large._ " She recognises that voice. Is that…Maggie Sawyer?

" _There always are._ "

" _Listen, um…I just wanted to make sure everything was okay with us, because the last time we saw each other things got a little, um, y'know, complicated._ "

" _I dunno, I thought they were pretty straightforward. Y'know, I'm fresh off the boat, that's not your thing. It's not a big deal._ "

" _I like you, Alex, it's just, y'know, the situation. It's nothing personal._ "

" _I didn't think it was._ "

" _Okay, good. Still friends?_ "

" _…Of course! I, um, I should really focus on checking this apartment. Do you need anything else?_ "

It's definitely Maggie. That's the only person Alex would speak to like that. The girl who broke Alex's heart. Kara has no idea what she's doing, or planning on, but before she can really think about it she's walking into the building, headed straight for the apartment they're in. Maggie spots her first judging by the way her eyes widen comically, and whatever response Alex was going to make cuts off as she turns to see whatever has her 'friend' so surprised.

Kara grins a little too widely in greeting and wraps an arm around Alex's waist as she steps to join the conversation. "Hey Alex! I'm not interrupting, am I?"

Alex stiffens, heart pounding so loudly that Kara's surprised the agents outside can't hear it. "No, nope, not interrupting."

Maggie blinks back and forth between them. "Wow, Danvers, I didn't know you and Supergirl were…"

"We work together. _Closely._ " Kara interjects. "Detective Sawyer, it's so nice to see you again. Did you need Alex for anything?" She might possibly let a little bit of her protective-sister instinct bleed through. Maybe.

"We work together too." She still seems very confused, and takes a step back. "I'm glad we talked, Danvers. I should, uh, probably get going. File a report back at the precinct. It was good to see you both. Glad to see you've, uh… bounced back."

"It was good to see you too. Sorry we didn't get the bad guy." Alex manages a smile, waiting until Maggie is out of earshot before turning her attention to Supergirl and raising an eyebrow. "So, mind filling me in on what that was about?"

Kara grins and shrugs, making no move to step away from Alex and just enjoying the fact that she managed to get her petty revenge on the girl who broke her sister's heart. "You seemed a little upset at her when you talked about her yesterday. I thought I'd make it clear what she's missing out on." That comes out more suggestive than she was intending, and her eyes widen as she realises how it sounds. "I mean, anyone who hangs out with Supergirl regularly has gotta be pretty cool, right?"

Alex splutters a laugh. "Supergirl, were you trying to make Maggie _jealous_?"

Kara steps away and gives a nonchalant shrug. "Maybe I was, _Danvers_."

Alex's heart rate spikes just a little more. If Kara didn't know better, she'd think Alex had been the one wrestling the Keltorian Hound. "Uh, hey. So, remember when I said I wanted to speak to you sometime?"

Kara had, in all honesty, totally forgotten. Between her jobs, and the interviews, and the constant distractions, that had entirely slipped her mind. Her eyes widen. "Oh, Rao, I'm so sorry, I forgot all about that. It's been such a busy day, I was ready to just go home and collapse into bed. I totally forgot you wanted to talk." She tries to smile, giving Alex her full attention. "But now, I am all yours."

Alex blushes a little. "Right. Well, uh."

Alex doesn't say anything else, fingers fiddling with her hair.

Kara waits patiently.

Okay, this silence is going on a little too long.

Any time now, Alex.

"Uh, right. Okay. So, y'know how yesterday, I, um...I told you about how I was, uh, not interested in…men?"

Kara nods along, brow furrowing and crinkle appearing. Alex wasn't worried she'd taken it badly, was she? "Of course. You're not worried about that, are you? Because I promise, I'm totally cool with it. What sort of hero would I be if I didn't accept love?"

Alex laughs nervously. "No, no, that's not what I wanted to talk about. You were super chill with it. No pun intended." She's rambling and making accidental 'super' puns. Whatever this is, it's obviously serious. 

"So, I've been thinking a lot lately, about my past and about people I think I might have liked before. Women I might have liked before. And it took me a while. I'm not sure if you've noticed but I'm not exactly a bastion of honesty and openness. I ignored this huge thing about myself for years. But now, over the past couple of weeks, I've been realising…" she cuts herself off, growling and rubbing at her forehead. "What I'm _trying_ to say is—"

An 8-bit version of the Imperial March starts playing.

Kara curses under her breath, pulling the phone out of her boot and answering it. " _What?_ "

She's silent for a few seconds, listening to what Snapper has to say, and her eyes slowly widen. "What?" Her focus shifts to Alex for a moment, and she puts her hand over the phone. "I'm. Uh. I'm really sorry, I have to take this. It's urgent."

Alex doesn't get a chance to respond before Kara is superspeeding her way out of the building and on to the roof. She'll make it up to her later.

"Snapper, can you say all of that again? It sounded almost like you said—" she trails off, listening again. When he finishes talking, she has only one question.

"What do you mean, I have to go to _Gotham_?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Please don't hate me._
> 
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> 
> _As a side question: how do you all feel about other ships in other fics? I have a couple of Sanvers ideas floating around in my brain, but I'm avoiding writing those fics at the moment because I want to put all of my focus on this story to keep it rolling for you all. I'd love to hear from you - would you like to see other stories from me in amongst updates to this, or would you like me to keep all my focus here on our wonderful Kalex?_


	5. Gotham City Silence

"What do you mean, you're going to Gotham?" Alex asks, watching as Kara rushes back and forth packing a suitcase.

"I mean I'm going to Gotham!" Kara replies, resisting every urge to superspeed around the apartment to make this go faster, and instead folding one of her nice shirts up at normal human speed. When she glances over to see Alex frowning, she amends her statement. "Liu's off work because his kid just got born, and he's our usual Gotham journo. Instead, Hanson was sent over, but his taxi crashed on the way from the airport and he's got a broken leg. Which means CatCo needs a different reporter to cover the Wayne Enterprises story."

Alex's frown deepens. "And they can't send anyone else?"

"Alex, this is a great opportunity for my job! My name on the byline not just for the Lena Luthor interview, but _also_ the Wayne Enterprises story? It's huge!" She stops packing for a moment, shirt held loosely in her hands as she looks at Alex, pouting a little. "Be happy for me? Please?"

"Don't you dare pout at me like that," Alex steps forwards and hugs Kara. "Of course I'm happy for you, dummy. I'm just worried. Gotham's the crime capital of America. I don't want you getting hurt." She steps back after a moment, moving her hands to the shirt to take it off Kara's hands. "Also there's a potsticker stain on the back of this one. You can't take it."

"Uh, excuse you, I think you'll find that's a bhuna stain," Kara counters, moving back to her wardrobe to search through her clothes.

"How do you even tell the difference?"

Kara levels a look at her.

"Right. Food god. Forget I asked."

Kara winks before pulling out a dress instead. There's a brief spike in Alex's pulse, and when she looks over, Alex looks a little confused by something.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothing," Alex shakes her head, approaching Kara with a smile and pulling out a dark blue shirt. "This goes perfectly with your green pants, especially with a nice leather belt. Take it; you'll make them drop dead at Wayne Enterprises."

"Speaking of being drop-dead gorgeous…" it's an awkward segue, admittedly, but Kara's excited and distracted by packing. Her segues can't always be smooth. "Did you manage to talk to the girl you like?"

Alex busies herself with picking out a few more shirts for Kara, checking each one for any mystery food stains. After a few seconds of silence, when it's clear Kara isn't going to let it drop, she speaks. "I, uh, not yet." She doesn't need to look at Kara to know there's a pout there. "I _tried_ to today, I promise. I wanted to. But every time I opened my mouth, something came up and interrupted us. I almost told her earlier, but then she got a phone call and had to leave."

Kara scowls. Alex's mystery crush wasn't even hearing her out? "She blew you off? That's so rude!"

"Kara, no. She's great, I promise, she was just really busy today. I'll catch her tomorrow or the day after. It's not a big deal."

"It _is_ a big deal!" Kara walks up to Alex, placing her hands on her shoulders to look into her eyes. "Alex, you deserve amazing things. You deserve a perfect romance and someone who loves you for who you are. She's brushing you off when you're trying to tell her something _really important_. That's not okay, even if you're convinced it's fine. If she keeps blowing you off when you try to talk to her, let me know, and I'll be on the next flight back from Gotham to give her a piece of my mind and tell her just how amazing you are, and how lucky she'd be to have you."

Alex groans. "Kara, no."

"Kara, yes."

They go back to packing in silence after that, Alex triple-checking everything once Kara insists she's all packed up. The first check, she forgot her wallet. The second check, she forgot her toothbrush. The third check, she'd somehow misplaced her wallet again. Once they find that, Alex glances out of the curtains to see the lights of a taxi roll up to their apartment and park.

"Okay, cab's here. Call me as soon as you land, okay? And, y'know what, call me as soon as you get to the hotel, too? You never know what might happen."

Kara hugs Alex tightly. "Yes. I will call you when I land, when I reach the hotel, and when I get into Wayne Enterprises tomorrow. I will also text you constantly, and don't think you won't be getting touristy pictures."

"I'm gonna miss you, Kar," Alex mumbles against Kara's neck.

"I'll be back before you know it. I promise."

_ _ _

She calls J'onn in the cab.

"Gotham, Supergirl? Really?"

Kara groans. "I know, I know. I can't do two jobs at once when I'm on the other side of the country. But National City will survive a week without me, and if it doesn't, I can fly—" she glances at the taxi driver. "—be on the next flight back."

"I know that. You deserve to take time off now and again. That's not why I'm worried. Aren't you forgetting about something?" He's waiting for her to get something she's not catching up on. "Forgetting about others forgetting?"

Oh.

"The investigation. And everyone else. They're. Oh, Rao." Okay. That's bad, but it's not too bad. They can work around it, right? "Can you cover for me at, uh, at work until I'm back? Pleaaaase, J'onn?"

J'onn groans. "You want me to pretend to be you. For several days. At the DEO. The place where Alex works. And you want me to do this without her realising that I'm doing it, when the two of us are the two people closest to her, and when I'm terrible at being… _upbeat_."

"…Yes?"

"Right." He's putting on a fake-upbeat voice. It's exactly as terrible as she expected. "I'm sure it'll be fine. Have fun in Gotham."

He hangs up.

Oh, her secret identity is _so_ screwed.

She puts her phone away, groaning and preparing herself for a long flight.

The flight is slow, cramped, and uncomfortable. Kara breaks one of the armrests accidentally, she almost has a panic attack when they take off because she doesn't think she's been in a vehicle like this since her pod, she can't sleep because the noise levels feel like buzzsaws to her hypersensitive ears, and she's seen all the movies that are on the monitors except for an action-comedy movie she shuts off after five minutes. If she'd been free to visit Gotham however she wanted, she would've just flown over. It would've taken an hour instead of five plus check-in. But, CatCo arranged a ticket on a last-minute overnight flight for her, and not using it would probably be more than a little suspicious.

It's almost 5am by the time she reaches the hotel, so she opts to text Alex instead of calling. She's barely finished brushing her teeth when she hears her phone buzz.

You –  
Landed, made it to the hotel! Uuuurgh such a long flight  
Sent – 4:48am Tuesday

Alex ♥ –  
You said you'd call me when you landed. This is texting.  
Received – 4:51am Tuesday

You –  
Isn't it 2am on the West Coast right now?  
Sent – 4:53am Tuesday

Alex ♥ –  
No.  
Received – 4:54am Tuesday

Alex ♥ –  
Kara, I know what you're waiting for. Don't you dare.  
Received – 4:58am Tuesday

You –  
Isn't it 2am on the West Coast right now?  
Sent – 5:00am Tuesday

Alex ♥ –  
UGH.  
Received – 5:01am Tuesday

You –  
♥ Please try to get some sleep. Call in late to work if you need to.  
Sent – 5:06am Tuesday

Alex ♥ –  
You're gonna do great tomorrow. <3  
Received – 5:16am Tuesday

_ _ _

Kara stares out of the window of the cab for the whole ride over to Wayne Industries, sleep deprived and wondering if this is what humans call jetlag. The architecture of Gotham is so fascinating – dark and ominous, with lead rooftops that block her x-ray vision and jagged, angled buildings that would be almost impossible to take off between. She knows her cousin has been here a few times, but she's never had an opportunity to visit. She's heard him complain about it, but she loves it. Then again, she's always been fond of the alien and unfamiliar.

As soon as she enters the grand atrium of Wayne Industries, a clerk approaches, ushering her towards an elevator and pushing the button for the thirty-fifth floor. She's glad she took Alex's advice of wearing darker colours here. If she'd worn pastels, she'd have stood out against the décor even more than she already does.

The elevator dings with what sounds like an actual brass bell instead of an electronic chime, and she's lead to a meeting room of oak and metal. It's a change from all the class at CatCo. She sits, patiently. And sits some more. Patiently.

She's just starting to fidget when the door opens, allowing in a redheaded woman and Bruce Wayne himself. She jumps to her feet. "Mister Wayne. Thank you for agreeing to speak with me," she says, in a rush.

He waves her off, gesturing for her to sit as he and the redhead join her at the table. "It's no trouble, really. I've always got time for National City's best and brightest." He smiles at her, all white teeth that look almost as perfect as Superman's. "Introductions! Obviously, you already know me. This is Lucia. And you are? I'm sorry, with all the changes of plans from CatCo I don't think I caught your name."

"I'm uh, Kara Danvers."

His eyes glint in recognition, and she freezes.

"Kara? Kara, who works at CatCo magazine?" His smile widens. "You wouldn't happen to be Clark Kent's cousin, would you? He raves about his cousin in National City whenever the two of us get a chance to talk."

Kara laughs nervously. "Yep! That's, uh. That's me. I didn't know Clark talked about me."

"Oh, he adores you. I didn't know you'd made the switch to journalism! Last I heard, you were still working as an assistant there. You're…" he trails off as something seems to occur to him. " _Keira_. You're the famous Keira who Cat Grant would spend half her soirees on the phone to, making sure everything was organised to perfection. Gosh, how did I never put those two together in my head? She still insists on calling me Bryce, so of course she got your name wrong too."

Kara giggles. "'Gosh'? I think you've been spending a little too much time with my cousin, Mister Wayne."

"Perhaps I have," he smiles. "Anyway, I'm painfully aware I've been holding the floor, when you're really here to speak with Lucia. It's just such a small world, I had to ask."

Lucia grins wryly. "Oh, it certainly is a small world," she says, her voice melodic and honeyed, with the hint of an inhuman accent. "Far smaller than where I come from." She holds her hand out towards Kara. "Mister Wayne already introduced us, but in the interests of fairness, I am Lucia of Almerac."

Kara takes Lucia's hand, shaking it slowly. As she shakes it, Lucia's grip tightens until it's uncomfortable, painful in a way no human can manage to a Kryptonian. Her grip would probably shatter the bones of a human. Kara doesn't let the discomfort affect her expression, and grips back just as hard. "I'm Kara Danvers. Of Earth."

Lucia smirks. "I'm sure."

Bruce, oblivious to the superpowered battle that just happened two feet away from him, beams and leans back in his seat. "I'm sure you have many questions for the both of us. By all means, let's—" he's cut off by a beep from his watch. He checks it, his expression darkening for a moment. "Oh, darn. I need to deal with this quickly – it's an emergency. Can you start your interview with Lucia, Miss Danvers? I'll be back in no time to answer any questions you have for me."

He climbs to his feet, pulling out a phone and stepping out of the room.

"He does that a lot," Lucia notes, once the door closes behind him.

Kara leans back in her chair, smile falling away as she allows her Supergirl posture to take over. "Are you planning on outing me?"

"Outing you? Kryptonian, why would I do that?" Lucia looks genuinely affronted. "You're delightful! I'd take your secret to my grave before I used it to hurt you."

Oh. Kara's shoulders slump. "Oh. You're nice. I'm not used to that. Usually when people work out my identity without me telling them, they try to attack or blackmail me."

Lucia smiles and places her hand on Kara's, gently. "I am sorry for hurting your hand. I just had to be sure you were what I thought you were. And let me assure you that your grip is _firm_. But yes, I would say I am nice. I know my species doesn't have the best of reputations, after Maxima…"

"Rao, that woman's awful," Kara adds, and Lucia blinks.

"You've met her?"

Kara wiggles her free hand. "'Met' is a strong word. She broke out of her cell, we punched each other for a few minutes, I got shot. It was this whole thing."

Lucia laughs. "I like you, Kara Danvers of Krypton."

"I like you, Lucia of Almerac!" Kara responds brightly, before reaching into her handbag to pull out her recorder. "We should probably, uh, actually do some of the interview. Wouldn't want Mister Wayne to get back and find we've just been chatting rather than doing our jobs."

"I'm an open book. Ask away."

Kara clicks on the recorder, then asks the first thing that comes to mind. "It's been reported that you came to this world to escape Queen Maxima of Almerac. Yet three years ago, she arrived here to try and marry Superman. How long have you been on Earth?" It's not what's meant to be her first question; Snapper had been very clear that she should be asking about Wayne Enterprises' hiring practises and what hiring aliens could do, both in terms of benefits and risks. But she needs to know the story behind the people.

"I arrived here…nine years ago now. Queen Maxima's reign was brutal to the population. Anything less than genetic perfection was stamped out, violently. Executions, mass violent eugenics. I was rated as just perfect enough to survive." She swallows. "My family wasn't. My parents, my brother, my betrothed. They were taken away. We'd been planning to leave before then, but…they never got the chance. After that, I ran. I let my ship choose a random habitable world with a Stage One society living on it. The next thing I knew, I was on Earth."

Kara nods slowly, enraptured. "I'm so sorry about your loss. So, you didn't intentionally choose the planet that Maxima would eventually come to?"

Lucia scoffs. "No. Had I known, I'm sure I would have picked a star far away from here. Then again…had I done that, I would never have got to see her defeated by Superman on live television." She pauses for a moment. "And, because I have heard the rumblings and rumours – no, Maxima did not come to this world to hunt me down. I was nobody on my home world. A…Earth would call me an accountant. Nobody worth being pursued by the Queen herself. She came here for Superman, not for me."

Kara nods, opening her mouth for the next line of questions, when Lucia reaches over, clicking to pause the recording before she speaks again.

"Not that I can entirely blame her. Seeing you now – Kryptonians truly are magnificent, aren't they?" Kara blushes bright red, and Lucia laughs. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to embarrass you. I simply see you with clearer eyes than most humans do."

Kara waves the compliments off, grinning and turning the recorder back on. "Thank you – I'm sure our readers will be reassured to hear that last part. Now, in regards to your employment at Wayne Enterprises – how are you finding it so far? I know your hiring was only just announced, and the media and interviews surrounding it have been a distraction, but what are your first impressions?"

Lucia hums, trailing her fingers through her vivid red hair. "It's being wonderful. I'm one of the rare species who can pass as entirely human, so this is not my first job – though I'd rather not mention my past employers, as this was before Alien Amnesty. People are treating me differently here to how I was treated at my past jobs, but they are not…unwelcoming. Their awkwardness comes simply from their knowledge that I am Other, rather than any stigma or prejudice." 

She pauses, pulling a bottle of water out of her handbag and taking a sip before gesturing with it towards Kara. Kara shakes her head, and Lucia shrugs. "When I came to my interview, the people I spoke to were respectful. They asked about my past work history, without asking any inappropriate questions. My being an alien was mentioned, but never treated as an obstacle or as a reason for me to be either favoured or discounted. Obviously, I cannot say whether this will be the case for every employer. I have no doubt there will be some who discount applicants the moment they see that they are non-human, or that others may choose to hire aliens in preference for one reason or another. But Wayne Enterprises has been wonderful."

Kara nods, and opens her mouth for the next round of questions when the door opens again, allowing Bruce Wayne to re-enter the room. Kara frowns, glancing over him. He's favouring his right leg, now. "Everything alright, Mister Wayne?"

He pauses on his way back to his chair. "Yes – everything's fine now. I had to deal with some clown at one of our other sites. Someone dropped something on my foot as I was leaving; no serious damage done, but it was a little painful at the time."

Kara and Lucia both make noises of sympathy as he sits down, and he rolls his eyes. "You two seem to be getting along famously. I wasn't interrupting, was I?"

Kara smiles. "Not at all, Mister Wayne. We were mostly just doing…girl talk." She glances over to Lucia, who smirks. "But our interview is almost done. I just have one or two more quick questions to Lucia about her job here, but I'm sure you can help with them. And after that, my only remaining questions are for you."

Bruce smiles and leans forwards. "Super," he says. Kara and Lucia share a look.

_ _ _

"I met Bruce Wayne today," is the first thing Kara says when Alex answers the FaceTime call. "Did you know Clark apparently talks about me to him? I didn't even know Clark and Bruce Wayne were friends."

Alex laughs, eyes crinkling, and Kara finally feels like today has been a good day. "Hello to you too."

Kara groans and flops on to her bed. "Hi Alex, hello. Greetings are finished now. Bruce Wayne!!!!" The hotel TV is quietly giving some report about Harley Quinn causing chaos in a factory downtown and attacking Batman with a comically oversized hammer. Rao, she's glad she lives in National City.

"I'm proud of you, Kara. It seems like yesterday you decided to become a journalist, and now here you are. Your family would be so proud of you." Alex smiles sadly at that last sentence.

"I know my family's proud of me. _You_ are proud of me."

Alex throws a pillow at her phone, bonking it against the camera. "Sap."

Kara giggles. "So! So so so! Tell me about your day! As soon as you get me talking about mine, I'll never stop talking about it, so I wanna ask you about yours first."

Alex sighs on the other end of the phone, the speakers making the sound grate a little, and Kara winces. "And by 'tell me about your day' you really mean 'tell me about your crush', don't you?"

Kara smiles innocently.

"I would tell you about it if there was anything to tell. I didn't see her today, so we didn't get a chance to speak. And before you call her rude or say she was avoiding me, I know for a fact she wasn't. She was just really busy. There was an emergency at, uh, at her job, and she had to put all her attention on to that."

"Laaaame."

"You're lame," Alex cleverly counters. "Tell me about your day; it'll have been more exciting than mine. I just did lab work."

"Have you eaten?"

"Yes," Alex says, lying.

"Liar. I am going to order myself a pizza, and I suggest you do the same. Because I'm not telling you about my day until you've got something in your mouth." There's a moment of pause before Kara notices Alex's cheeks slightly reddening on the camera. "Not what I meant!"

Alex looks thoughtful for a moment, the light on her face shifting as she taps buttons on her phone, changing screens. "How about this. We both _order_ pizza, and you tell me about your day while we're waiting for it to get here."

Kara narrows her eyes. "Deal."

_ _ _

Ignoring the crime is the toughest part. She knows Supergirl's not supposed to be here, she's in National City. But her superhearing doesn't stop working, so she hears every break-in and scream around the city. Every night, she's thankful for the fact that soon after hearing a scream, she usually hears the swooping of bat's wings.

She checks her Supergirl phone, making sure there's nothing that needs her attention. There's just a text from Winn that had arrived during her interviews.

Schottfun –  
Please, please come to the DEO when you can. I know you're busy at your not-secret-agent-work, but Alex keeps making moony eyes at the balcony and last time a bird flew past she got so excited she snapped a pen in half.  
Received – 3:16pm Tuesday

Kara snorts and puts the phone away again, glancing out of the window one more time. In the distance, too obscured by smog for anyone without x-ray vision to see, she glimpses a trio of dark capes.

_ _ _

"Bruce Wayne wanted to know if I'd accompany him to a charity gala."

"He asked you on a date?"

"What? No. Being someone's plus one to a charity gala doesn't mean it's a date. _Lena's_ asked me to charity galas before!"

" _Exactly_."

"What? Don't be ridiculous. We're friends. Did you get to speak to your mystery girl today?"

"Poor topic avoidance, 3 out of 10." Alex throws a grape at the camera. "But, uh, yeah. I think she was tired from the emergency she had yesterday. She seemed a little weird, I don't know. I didn't want to bother her with it when she was so obviously out of it."

"Boooooo."

_ _ _

Kara checks the news from National City after getting back from the gala, and finds that three more Keltorian Hounds have been seen in the streets. Where are they all coming from? One of the articles has a video clip of Supergirl getting hit in the face by the charge of one, and she winces, pulling out her phone.

You –  
I'm so so sorry about the hounds. Are you okay?  
Sent – 10:49pm Wednesday

Martian Manhugger –  
Peachy.  
Received– 10:51pm Wednesday

You –  
I will buy you so many chocolates when I'm back. I'll bring you a snowglobe from Gotham.  
Sent – 10:52pm Wednesday

Martian Manhugger –  
And I will display it with pride on my desk.  
Received – 10:56pm Wednesday

She smiles, saving a screenshot of that exchange to send to Alex once Alex gets her memories back, before switching to her Kara phone.

You –  
Back from the gala, Bruce was a perfect gentleman.  
Sent – 10:57pm Wednesday

Alex ♥ –  
Oh, so he's just "Bruce" now?  
Received – 10:59pm Wednesday

You –  
It wasn't a date!!!!  
Sent – 11:02pm Wednesday

_ _ _

"Lucia is _so nice_ , Alex, you don't even know. After today's round of interviews, she asked me if I wanted to get dinner with her."

"…She was asking you out, Kara."

"What? No she wasn't! Don't be ridiculous."

"She was. But it's okay, just so long as you didn't say yes."

"…"

"You said yes, didn't you."

" _Free food_ , Alex!"

"Kara."

"I'll call her and tell her I'm not interested in a date."

"Good."

"But I'd still be happy to have dinner with her if she wants to pay."

" _Kara_!"

_ _ _

She ends up going for dinner with Lucia anyway. It's friendly so long as they split the bill, right? They're partway through their meal when Kara's Supergirl phone beeps. She frowns, pulling it out from her bag and glancing at it. If it was a big emergency, they'd call.

Lucia's eyes light up. "Is that your phone for your _other_ job? How exciting. Who's messaging you?"

Martian Manhugger –  
Alex is determined to speak with you. I just had to phase through a wall to avoid her.  
Received – 7:08pm Thursday

Kara snorts into her milkshake. "My boss. He's, uh. He's the one covering for me at the moment in National City."

"I had wondered who the girl on the news was. I must say, he's not as pretty as you are."

She rolls her eyes at Lucia's flirtation, typing out a reply.

You –  
You don't have to avoid her, you know. She's not psychic, and if she works it out you can just refresh the block.  
Sent – 7:10pm Thursday

She refocuses on their dinner, grinning at Lucia and putting her phone away, ignoring the beep it makes as she drops it into her handbag.

"Please. You're just saying that because you think I'm exciting and powerful."

"If that were true, surely I'd be calling the shapeshifter the pretty one?" Lucia counters, quirking an eyebrow. Kara just rolls her eyes again.

After their meal, they bid their farewells – sharing phone numbers and promising to keep in touch. Kara has a feeling that they'll stick to that plan.

"And if you are ever in Gotham again, I would be more than happy to take you on a date," Lucia says, stepping close to kiss both of Kara's cheeks.

Kara giggles and adjusts her glasses. "I'm flattered, really, but just…"

"Your heart beats for another?"

She pauses. "Not for another. I'm just…happily single for the moment."

Lucia smiles at her, and for the first time since meeting the woman, Kara feels like she's missing a piece of the puzzle.

It's only after she's left the restaurant that she remembers to check her phone.

Martian Manhugger –  
I think it's important that you should be the one who speaks with her, not me.  
Received – 7:10pm Thursday

_ _ _

"Okay, it's been four days!" Kara suddenly says, making Alex pause, potsticker halfway to her mouth. Kara had insisted that just because she got to go out for dinner, it didn't mean Alex got out of eating. "I can't take it anymore! I keep asking you about this mystery crush of yours, and every day you give me an excuse to what you haven't talked to her yet. What was it that happened today?"

"I saw her on her phone, then as I went over to try and speak to her, my boss called me for a lab emergency. By the time I dealt with that, she was gone." Alex frowns. "Are you getting annoyed at me for taking a few days to talk to a crush? Do I need to remind you about James?"

Kara rolls her eyes. "No, you don't. But you're Alex Frickin' Danvers. You've always been the brave one." She stares at Alex, all gentleness. "I'm the one who dances around her feelings for six months, pining from afar, then messes everything up within three weeks of finally getting together with them. You're the one who walks right up to the girl you like and asks her on a date. No hesitation. Because you're _amazing_."

Alex sighs, dropping her chopsticks in the potsticker box. "You're not going to let this go, are you?"

"As your sister, it is my job to not let it go under any circumstances."

Alex sighs. "Okay. I'll talk to her tomorrow. No excuses, no distractions. If she gets a call from work again, I'll just…blurt it out. How does that sound?"

Kara's eyes soften, annoyance dropping. "Alex…for as much as I'm pestering you about this, I don't want you to do it for me. I want you to do it for you, and if it's not the right time, don't do it. Just know that for every day where it isn't the right time, I'm going to be here, asking you."

She nods, taking a breath. "I know, Kar. And believe me, if this pushing were unwelcome or something I didn't want for myself, I'd be letting you know. You push me into things I know I already want."

"Okay. Good. And hey. My flight's tomorrow, so I'll be able to pester you in person about it tomorrow night."

Alex groans.

_ _ _

The flight back is just as long, just as slow, and just as uncomfortable. Thankfully, this time it's not an overnight trip. She whiles away the time by writing, working on an extra article. She's already sent the final draft of the Wayne Enterprises article to Snapper, with him sending it back with only three notes for changes, so she takes that as a win. But Lucia's story had caught her imagination, and she wants to write about the stories of alien immigrants who came to this world. So many believed they all shared the same story, or thought them all to be invaders, or didn't care enough to ask.

She wants to share her own story. Or, rather, Supergirl's story.

So she writes, and ignores the cramped surroundings, and the plane starts its final approach far before she expected, the flight attendant passing by to ask her to put her laptop away. She finally understands what humans say about passing the time on long journeys.

When she steps out of the terminal, her eyes scan the crowd, expecting to see Alex there. She isn't. Kara lowers her glasses, giving the airport a sweep of x-ray vision to see if she's anywhere nearby. There's no trace.

She checks her phone.

Alex ♥ –  
Hey, are you okay to get back from the airport on your own?  
Received – 5:06pm Friday

Alex ♥ –  
You're already in the air. I knew that. Just. Let me know if you need me to pick you up when you land, okay?  
Received – 5:07pm Friday

Kara frowns, worry settling in her gut. She wheels her luggage until she can find a secluded spot out of the airport flight path, then takes off, suitcase in tow. She doesn't wait for a taxi, or wait to change into her Supergirl uniform. She doesn't bother visiting her own loft first, flying straight to Alex's and racing up the stairs before knocking at her door incessantly.

"What?"

"Alex, it's Kara. Let me in, please?"

The door lurches open, revealing a drunk-looking Alex Danvers. "Hey, Kara. I'm sorry I didn't come pick you up. I was, uh. I didn't really want to drive, so I just—"

Kara steps forwards, abandoning her suitcase and wrapping her sister in a tight hug. "What happened?" she asks, gently, stroking Alex's hair.

Alex buries her head against Kara's neck, breathing in and steadying herself. "She's. Um. She's definitely avoiding me."

"What?"

"I, uh. I followed your advice, and tried to talk to her today. I went right up to her, ignored a phone call from my boss, ignored two different lab techs running up to me talking about tests that needed my expertise. Just walked right up to her, and asked if we could talk."

Kara frowns, nails running gently against Alex's scalp, soothing.

"She said she couldn't talk to me right now, and just. Took off."

Kara gasps. "She just _left_?"

"As fast as she possibly could."

Kara leads them over to the couch, placing Alex on it and settling next to her to hold her close.

"You kept saying she seemed like she was ignoring me, y'know? But I guess I didn't want to see it. Didn't want to believe it. I wanted so desperately to believe that she really was just having a busy week. That we kept just getting phone calls at awkward times. That she might want to talk to me, too." Alex's voice wavers, then finally breaks. "That she might _want_ me."

Kara kisses the side of Alex's head soothingly, shushing her and holding her close as she finally starts to cry.

"Why does this keep happening to me?"

Kara doesn't know who it was who broke her sister's heart. But she swears, she's going to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _When I described the plot of this chapter to my fiancée, she said "Darling, it's_ horrible _and I_ love it _"._
> 
>  
> 
> _(As a side note, ever since I wrote the line that Cat calls Bruce Wayne 'Bryce', I've been unable to stop imagining this version of Bruce as being played by Matt Bomer.)_


	6. Two Truths and a Lie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Content warning: some light discussion of trans, non-binary, and agender issues in this chapter!_

Kara wakes up, distinctly aware of the crick in her neck. She might be superpowered, but that doesn't mean it isn't uncomfortable to sleep in a bad position.

Speaking of sleeping in a bad position, where _is_ she?

She feels movement against her and freezes, before opening her eyes slowly. Oh. Right. Alex's apartment. She glances to her left, just to confirm that the woman currently collapsed against her and snoring is Alex. Mercifully, it is, and Kara breathes a sigh of relief. Right. Okay. She'd come over after landing to see what had been bothering her, and at some point between Alex's bouts of crying, they must have both fallen asleep.

Alex snorts a little in her sleep, and Kara resists the urge to squeak at how cute it is.

Carefully, so as to not disturb the super-secret agent, she adjusts herself, using a little bit of flight in order to shift Alex to rest against the couch as she moves to stand, lifting her phone up from the table. 9:45am, Saturday. Damn, her body clock adjusted to the East Coast quickly. 

She rolls her neck out, stretching and hearing her back pop. Rao, she needed that.

Kara superspeeds around the apartment, careful to stay floating to avoid creaking the floors at all, to let Alex sleep. She cleans up the empty bottle of whiskey, depositing it gently in the trash, and places the empty glass in the sink. Leaves a glass of water and a pair of aspirin on the couch table.

She looks over her handiwork, then to her sleeping companion. Alex still scowls when she sleeps, just a little. Though considering last night, Kara can't entirely blame her. She hovers forwards, leaning down to gently kiss the top of Alex's head. Alex grumbles, brow furrowing further. "Sweet dreams, Alex," she whispers, superspeeding out of the door.

_ _ _

Alex is up by the time she gets back with breakfast, shuffling around the apartment and squinting against the light.

"Hey, Alex."

"Mmrgh."

"I come bearing breakfast." She lifts the bag up, wiggling it in Alex's view.

"Please not donuts," Alex manages to say, and Kara giggles, stepping close to kiss Alex's cheek and drop the bag on the counter.

"Bacon cheddar bagels."

Alex groans. "You are a goddess amongst women," she says, opening the bag and immediately biting into one.

"You just say that because I buy you food all the time," Kara responds, grinning and walking to the fridge, pouring them both glasses of orange juice. Coffee can wait.

"That's not true. I also say it because you got me aspirin."

"Don't talk with your mouth full."

Alex grumbles something and makes a rude gesture with her free hand, continuing to chew on the bagel like her life depends on it.

Kara takes a breath to ask something about last night, but Alex seems to sense it, body tensing, and Kara opts to take a bagel, instead. The smile Alex gives her in response leaves a warm feeling in her chest and she grins in return, taking a far-too-large bite of the bagel.

They eat in silence for a while, Kara working her way through two bagels in the time it takes Alex to finish her first (and, okay, she might have bought four and eaten the first on the way back to the apartment, she has to _hide_ her superhuman eating habits from Alex sometimes now). Kara downs her orange juice, then slides a mug of black coffee over to Alex.

"Kara, come on. My hangover's already getting better. You don't need to baby me."

"Well, maybe I want to baby you. Maybe I think you're cute and want to look after you like a little tiny Kal—" she stops herself. "—ifornian baby."

Alex quirks an eyebrow, unimpressed, and takes a sip of her coffee. "You've got grease on your cheek," she says, instead of addressing any of what just Kara just said.

"What? Where?" Kara rubs at her left cheek. 

Alex laughs. "Other side." Kara's rubbing intensifies, changing angle, and Alex's laughter grows louder. "No, hold on." She reaches up, using the sleeve of her sweatshirt to rub Kara's right cheek. Kara freezes up a little, staring at Alex, and her mind flashes back to the day after Alex and Supergirl's night out. Donuts at the DEO. Sugar on Alex's lips.

"Okay, okay, I think you got it. Better?" She laughs off the thought, stepping away from Alex's continued scrubbing.

"Perfect."

Kara hears sirens in the distance, and sighs a little. Duty calls. "I, um, I need to get something to Snapper. I thought I'd done everything, but he sent me a message right before my flight that there was something I had to finish on the plane. Will you be okay today?"

Alex nods, too quickly for Kara's liking. "Yeah. I'll be fine, really. I was overreacting last night." At Kara's doubtful look, she smiles reassuringly. "Kara, really, don't worry. I'm going to go into work, spend the day in the lab, and everything will be fine. And we can have our sister night tomorrow, like always. No crying, just TV and gossip. It'll be good."

That makes Kara feel a little better, and she kisses Alex on the side of the head before she leaves. Alex grumbles, and Kara giggles all the way out of the door.

As she superspeeds into her uniform and takes off, towards the sirens, she thinks Supergirl should probably check in on Alex at the DEO later. It'll be good to make sure she's holding up okay.

_ _ _

She swoops into the DEO later, skipping the elevator to land directly on the balcony. Nobody looks up in surprise, or seems to be acting weirdly, so it seems like J'onn's imitation of her had been good enough to keep people unaware. She breathes out a sigh of relief. _Okay, phase one of being here today, go thank J'onn for holding the fort for a week._ At human-speed, she walks to J'onn's office and knocks on his door to the rhythm of Space Cowboy before she enters. She doesn't expect anyone else to be in there, so she's surprised when she almost bumps into Alex's back after opening the door.

Kara smiles brightly. "Oh, sorry. Hey! I wasn't expecting to see you in here."

She's met with silence. Awkward, uncomfortable silence. Her smile starts to slip.

"I was just telling J'onn about the biology of the hounds we've captured this week," Alex says, shortly. "Nothing that can't wait. I'll get out of your way."

She slips past Kara and leaves the office before Kara can offer any counterpoint, leaving her opening and closing her mouth in confusion.

"Did something happen while I was gone?" she eventually asks, turning to J'onn. "I came here to thank you for filling in for the week, and to ask you if anything had happened that I needed to know about. Whatever that just was kinda seems like something I should know about."

J'onn sighs. "She wants to talk to you, as she said to you before you had to leave for Gotham. I can't have that conversation in your stead, so I've been forced to avoid her. Which means, from her perspective…"

"…That I've been avoiding her." Kara groans. "Right. Dang it. Thank you, J'onn. I can fix this, and…you did the right thing. Whatever she wants to talk to me about, it seemed like something she really wanted to tell me. It's good she'll be able to talk to me, not…you-disguised-as-me."

J'onn nods in agreement. "Beyond my avoidance of Alex? Things have been stable here. I dealt with a number of Keltorian Hounds as you saw on the news – it looks like the ones I fought broke out from a pair of kennels. It's possible the Keltorian we failed to catch had kennels in multiple locations, and now with him failing to visit them, they're breaking out. Hunger, or seeking out their missing master, we're not sure which."

Kara frowns at that.

"The interviews with the military are continuing apace. They're hoping to be reaching upper management in the next few days."

Her frown deepens. "They interviewed me on the first day, but it was incomplete. Should I be worried that they haven't called me back?"

"Unlikely. They probably wanted to test if their device worked on the Kryptonian mind before anything else, which would explain your interview going first. Test the power of their device before they start their work." J'onn pauses. "Or, if we assume they want to find out your identity, it seems wisest to try and get it directly from the source. When they realised they couldn't read you, you would become a low priority to interview, so now they're simply going through the human ranks, looking for a weak link." 

Kara's frown deepens and she crosses her arms. "I don't like not knowing which of those is true."

"Nor do I, believe me. Beyond all of that, there's nothing you should know about. I avoided any deep conversations, and kept myself busy to maintain my cover."

Kara steps forwards and hugs J'onn tightly. "Thank you, for covering for me. I know all the lying and hiding is tough. I'm glad you've got my back."

J'onn's arms wrap around her. "I'll always have your back, Supergirl," he says, squeezing her tight enough for her to feel it before she steps away from him.

She smiles, stepping towards the door and giving a half-wave.

Her hand is on the door handle when she remembers one more thing. She speaks in a rush. "Oh, by the way, Lucia in Gotham knows about my secret identity, so you're going to need to write up an NDA for her to sign, please don't be mad, okay byeeeee!"

Kara slips out of the door while his expression is still shocked, and before it has a chance to develop any further.

She glances over to the control room, noticing Alex looking her way. The moment their eyes meet, Alex turns away, starting to walk towards the holding cells. Oh no. Absolutely not. Alex is already dealing with mysterious heartbreak. There's no way Kara's letting things to awkward between her and Supergirl.

She superspeeds over, sending papers flying off a desk as she catches up to Alex in the hallways. "Heyyy, Alex. Can we talk somewhere in private?"

Alex, for her part, doesn't jump or react to Supergirl's sudden appearance next to her. Instead, she just raises an eyebrow. "Really? _Now_ you want to talk? After avoiding me all week?"

Kara winces. Yeah, okay, she deserves that. "That's what I need to talk to you about. I need to apologise for that. I know I've been distant all week, and I'm really sorry for that. I promise, it wasn't anything about you – it was all on my end." One of the military investigators walks past them watching curiously, and Kara shifts under his gaze. "Can we just…talk privately? _Please?_ "

Alex sighs and nods, letting the Kryptonian lead her to an empty holding room.

Alex crosses her arms. "Okay, talk."

Oh. Right. Kara needed to actually…work out what she's going to say. She moves to adjust her glasses, only to remember they're not there. She brushes her hair back instead.

"I'm sorry, for the past week. I haven't…been myself." 

Smooth, Kara. 

"There was a lot going on, and I know that's not an excuse for avoiding you. The truth is…" She pauses, sighing as she tries to work out what to say. "The truth is, I could tell you had something important to say. And I wanted to be able to give you my full focus, which I didn't feel able to do through this week. But, because it's me, I couldn't just _say_ that, because that would be too easy and the whole DEO is a mess of communication issues that belong in a CBS drama. So I just…avoided you, instead of telling you I needed a few days. But…I _am_ back now. And I'm here to listen, if…if you still want to share whatever it is, with me." 

There's a few long seconds of silence.

"Alright," Alex says, eventually. "I understand. We're, uh. We're both on the clock right now, so I can't talk in more detail and I don't really want to say anything at the DEO anyway, but…eight o'clock? The bar? We'll talk?"

Kara smiles, widely. "I wouldn't miss it."

_ _ _

Kara's eating a burrito, watching the ops center for any sign of activity and bothering Winn to pass the time. 

"Why aren't you bothering Alex right now?" he asks, long-suffering, as she throws a third napkin at the back of his head.

"No burritos allowed in the labs after The Incident." They both pause in memory of The Incident. "Also, we're meeting for drinks tonight. I don't want her to get sick of me."

"It's fundamentally impossible for Alex to get sick of you, Supergirl. She's kind of your biggest fan, and I say that as the man who designed and built your suit and who owns every piece of House of El memorabilia I can get my hands on."

Kara snorts. "We both know you only own all of that because you're in love with my cousin."

Winn pauses from his typing. "Exactly. Like I said: biggest fan."

"You know, I could get you his personal phone number if you really wanted. But I think Lois wo—" she pauses. Clark and Superman are different people right now in Winn's eyes. "—I think Lois Lane wouldn't like someone flirting with her _friend_ Superman all the time. And James would probably get all weird and broody about his best friend going after his other best friend. But if you want the number, it's yours."

Winn groans and gets to his feet. "I'm going to the labs where you can't bother me, because you're not allowed in there right now." He starts walking, and Kara counts down the seconds. Three, two, one… "And also yes please please please get me his number."

There we go. She laughs and waves over her shoulder towards him as he flees to the safety of the labs.

The downside of him leaving is that Kara is now alone with nothing for company except her food, and a few agents she wouldn't want to bother since their jobs in the ops center always look important. She's suddenly bored.

She's just beginning to think about who else she could pester during lunch when Vasquez flops into the seat next to her. The agent groans, rubbing her eyes.

"You've, uh. Got a little sensor goop on your head," Kara says, politely.

Vasquez groans again, louder, and steals one of Kara's napkins to wipe her forehead clean.

"Permission to vent freely, ma'am?"

Kara giggles a little, giving a faux-salute. "Permission granted, Agent."

"I just spent three hours and sixteen minutes locked in an interview room with soldiers who questioned me about every aspect of my role here at the DEO, about every operation I've run in my years here." She sighs. "Triple-checking every aspect of every op, in search of…what? A mole? Something I missed? I'm _meticulous_. It's why J'onn hired me. If there's something I missed, then there is no way in hell that half a dozen Army investigators are going to find it in three hours."

Kara nods, chewing on the last bite of her burrito.

"Sorry, ma'am. Went a little off the handle there."

"No no no, not at all!" Kara rushes to interject, wiping her fingers on a napkin. "We all deserve to be able to vent about this whole situation. It's not fair on any of the DEO, and the investigation is undermining us and treating you all like suspects instead of heroes."

"…Can I be honest with you for…two and a half minutes, ma'am?"

"As long as you agree to call me 'Supergirl' for those two and a half minutes, definitely." Kara grins.

"It's a tough deal, but I'll accept it…Supergirl." The two of them share a smile, before Vasquez taps the table and starts speaking. "I did two tours as a Marine. Intelligence Officer. Lieutenant. Served with honor. Saved lives. Then, after I left the Corps, I joined the DEO. It's a good place for someone with my skillset. Steady. I was a Lieutenant for six years, and I've been an Agent for the past five. And do you know what those investigators called me in that room? _Miss_." Vasquez says the word with venom, taking a deep breath.

"I haven't been _Miss Vasquez_ since I was eighteen years old. And since they were reading my mind, they _know_ all that." Vasquez's hands move to tap out a rhythm on the table, steady, unchanging. "I don't know what's…right for me. But I do know one thing for sure. Being called Agent, being called Lieutenant…that feels right for me. Being called _Miss_? That's wrong."

Kara looks at Vasquez. Really _looks_ at them. And slowly, a smile grows on her lips.

"…okay." Vasquez taps the table once more before placing their hands on their lap. "That's all. I actually said that a little faster than predicted, so, it didn't take the full two and a half minutes I'd allotted for that. Hope that's alright, ma'am."

Kara pauses for a moment, then leans over to hug Vasquez. "Your two and a half minutes aren't up yet, Agent," she says, gently chastising. "We had a deal."

"Sorry, Supergirl."

"Better." Kara grins. "I'm proud of you. And…thank you, for trusting me with this."

Vasquez shrugs as best as they can with a Kryptonian clinging to them. "I figure you trust me with your secret identity most days. I can trust you with mine."

Kara hears familiar footsteps entering the ops center and she glances over. Alex's heart spikes when their eyes catch, and an unfamiliar expression crosses her face. Kara smiles at Alex, and she smiles back, but it seems pained. Awkward. She pulls back from the hug slowly, squeezing Vasquez's shoulders and smiling at them. "I'm here for you, okay?"

Vasquez nods happily, before checking their watch. "And your time's up. So…thank you, ma'am. I appreciate that."

Kara rolls her eyes and shoves their shoulder.

Her eyes flick over towards where Alex had been standing, only to find she's vanished, again. That was…weird. What had been up with her there? She'd looked almost…jealous? But that didn't make any sense. Did it?

Slowly, a few things crystallise in the mind of Kara Danvers.

_… I never stopped to think that maybe there was someone else I was feeling like this for, in the present…_

_… every time we spend time together it just lights up my whole day…_

_…over the past couple of weeks, I've been realising…_

_…every time I opened my mouth, something came up and interrupted us…_

_…tried to talk to her today. I went right up to her, ignored a phone call from my boss, ignored two different lab techs running up to me…_

Oh Rao. Alex is totally crushing on Agent Vasquez.

Kara lets out a high-pitched 'eep!' noise, to which there's an answering call of " _my ears_!" from Winn all the way in the labs. Tiny baby still able to hear high-pitched sounds.

The change in mood must show on her face, because Vasquez raises an eyebrow. "Everything alright, ma'am?"

Kara nods, far too fast. "Yep, definitely. I just realised something that I'm super happy about. No pun intended. But it's exciting!!!"

Vasquez laughs and rolls their eyes. "Okay, okay. I'll take your word for it."

"You'll find out soon enough." Kara grins, wrapping an arm around Vasquez's shoulder again.

She finally has all the answers.

_ _ _

She texts Alex ten minutes before they're due to meet, telling her about an attempted kidnapping happening downtown and apologising, saying she's going to be late. She doesn't wait for a response, flying towards downtown fast enough to leave a sonic boom in her wake.

Her hands tear through the side of the kidnapper's van as she lifts it from the pavement, wheels spinning fruitlessly. One of the kidnappers reaches out of the side seat, pointing a gun towards her, and she shoots a burst of heat vision at it, superheating it in his hands and forcing him to drop it with a yelp.

The wheels are still spinning, the driver keeping his foot on the gas despite how pointless it is, and she yanks one of the wheels off the vehicle before setting it down again. After that, it's a simple matter of superspeeding around the other side of the vehicle and slamming the driver's head against the steering wheel (gently).

She breaks the door lock and slides the van door open, only to get a face full of a crying businessman, clutching to her. She tells him that it's okay, that he's safe now, and shushes him as he sobs.

She sits with him, both leaning against the side of the van, waiting for the police and paramedics to arrive. She blows the tiniest bit of freeze breath on the cut on his forehead that looks like the result of a pistol-whip. He laughs a little at that, flinching against the lights of a news helicopter that has managed to get here well before any emergency service.

"My children aren't gonna believe this. Their boring dad goes out, gets himself kidnapped, then meets Supergirl?" His hand is tangled in her cape as he leans back against the van. "They'll think I just walked into a door again and made up a cool story to avoid embarrassing myself."

"Well, maybe I should visit you sometime so they know you're not making it up. So they know how brave their dad is."

"You think I was brave? I got taken without a fight, froze up at the sight of a gun, and started crying."

"Being kidnapped is terrifying. I've been where you are, and I was scared out of my mind, believe me. The fact that you're here now, talking to me, tells me how brave you are."

He blinks at her in disbelief. "You've been kidnapped? But you're _Supergirl_."

"Oh yeah. Kidnapped once, captured a couple of times now. And every time, I was terrified. But it's not weak to be captured – to need someone to help you. To save you."

There's quiet for a few seconds. "Who saved you?" he eventually asks. "I mean, I got rescued by you – by _Supergirl_. But if someone's strong enough to capture Supergirl, then…who could be strong enough to rescue you?"

"My sister." Kara smiles, soft and genuine as she thinks of Alex, and the title slips out before she can stop herself.

His eyes widen at that, and she raises a finger to her own lips. "That part's a secret. Please don't tell anyone?" she asks gently, and he gives a shrug towards her.

"You just saved my life and made sure I can go home to my family. I won't tell a soul."

_ _ _

She steps into the bar, almost twenty-five minutes late, and immediately sees Alex. She's not dressed up tonight – just wearing her normal civilian clothes, leather jacket a permanent fixture. No lipstick or dress shirts this time. As Kara steps through the door, Alex looks up from her phone, a wide grin crossing her face and her heart rate spiking.

"Supergirl! Hey, I'm glad you could make it. I was, uh. Just watching the footage of your rescue," Alex waves her phone in explanation. "I've gotta say, your bedside manner is way better than mine was when I worked in the hospital."

"I'm sorry I'm late," Kara wraps Alex in a hug to greet her properly, trying to ignore the way Alex stiffens at her touch. Don't worry over nothing, Kara. "And the reason my bedside manner's better is because I want to make people _feel_ better, while you want them to take their dang medicine so you they can start to _get_ better."

Alex snorts and nods, stepping back and finishing her bourbon. Placing the glass down on the bar with slightly more force than necessary. "Want a drink? Y'know, I've heard this place does a mean peach mojito. They might even add some alien alcohol in there for you."

Kara glances between Alex, to the empty glass, and back to Alex. After a few seconds, she nods. " _One_ drink. We got too tipsy last week, and even though I want a repeat performance some time, I don't want us getting drunk tonight."

Alex flags down M'gann, ordering them both a peach mojito. Kara's mouth falls open as she sees the bottle of Aldabaran rum being opened and a healthy shot being added to her drink. Oh, no.

"Did you forget what alcohol made up mojitos?" Alex asks, a smirk on her lips.

Kara groans, but takes the mojito obediently, clinking her glass with Alex's before they move to a booth. The two of them sit in silence for a few minutes, Alex drinking the mojito faster than she probably should and Kara sipping at hers, feeling the buzz of the rum hitting her quickly. As the conversation lulls, Kara trails her eyes over Alex. Is she going to tell Supergirl about her crush on Vasquez? Maybe. But why does she seem to care so much about telling Supergirl – shouldn't she be focused on telling Vasquez about it first? Alex's brow furrows and Kara hears her muttering swear words subvocally, throat bobbing a little.

When it becomes clear that Alex is struggling, Kara leans forwards, resting her chin on her hand and swirling her finger in her mojito. "So, I ended up mentioning you to the man I saved earlier," she starts, and waits for Alex's eyes to refocus on her before she continues. "I told him I'd been captured before. The Master Jailer, the Black Mercy, the alien fight club. I told him that it wasn't weak to be captured, and to need help." She pauses. "He asked me who rescued me, when I was captured and needed help. I told him it was you. Every time, it was you. You always have my back. You save me when I'm in trouble."

Alex smiles, tears in the corners of her eyes, and takes a slow breath. "I'll _always_ save you, Supergirl," she says, softly.

Kara reaches over, taking Alex's hand. "Whatever's on your mind, you can tell me. I promise, I'll have your back with this, just like with everything else."

Alex looks down at their hands, intertwining their fingers together cautiously and nodding. "You're right. I can do this." She meets Kara's eyes and smiles.

They're quiet for another few minutes, but it's comfortable this time. Alex is thinking, organising her thoughts, and doesn't seem to be spiralling. A couple of times, she seems to be struggling a little, and Kara just squeezes her hand gently any time that starts happening, snapping her back to reality each time.

Finally, Alex speaks. "So I've been thinking about my past, recently. I think I told you something about that the other day, before you got interrupted by that phone call." She glances over, and Kara nods. "I told you that I'd been thinking about…about people I might've liked in the past. Women I might've liked in the past. For years, I hid from this part of myself – ignored it and buried it so deeply that I wasn't even aware of it. But now, I'm having to kind of…" she pauses, struggling for words. "I'm going through my life, piecing things together that I should've realised a long time ago."

Kara squeezes her hand again. "Okay."

Alex's free hand moves to run through her fringe, twisting locks of hair between her fingertips. "You mentioned when you were attacked by the Black Mercy. Do, you, uh, remember much of that?" Kara stiffens up a little. "I'm sorry, that's probably…not the best memory for you."

"No, no, it's okay. I can talk about it now." Kara tries to smile, but she's confused. What does the Black Mercy have to do with Agent Vasquez? They weren't even involved with that. They're an operations coordinator, not a biologist.

"When the DEO decided to send someone in, I…insisted that it had to be me. I didn't know why, I just knew that I was the one who could bring you out of that hallucination." Alex shrugs a little, and Kara holds back the instincts she has to correct Alex, to say that it's because they're sisters. She can't say that – not right now. "J'onn told me it was too dangerous, Max Lord wished me luck but I could tell he thought I was stupid. James couldn't understand why I insisted on going in when he's so close with your whole family. Who was I? Just a dumb agent who thought she could save the Earth's Mightiest Hero."

Kara shifts her hand, placing her fingertips on Alex's wrist, stroking soothingly. "But you did save me. You walked right into my dream, all confidence and genuine care in the heart of a lie, and you said all the right words to break me free." She pauses to grin. "Give yourself a little credit – you're one of Earth's Mightiest Heroes, too."

Alex's pulse spikes against Kara's fingers. "But _why me_? That's what I never even asked myself. I never stopped to think that maybe someone else would be better. James, or Winn, or Superman if we could get hold of him. Any other agent at the DEO. I never hesitated, never questioned _why_ I knew that I was the one who could break you free. I just knew."

"But now, I can't stop thinking about it." She swallows heavily, looking anywhere but at Kara. "And I think, the only answer that makes sense to me, is that…some part of me, deep and buried and ignored for so long, knew even then. It knew how important you are to me."

Kara's brow furrows. This…none of this is making sense. Alex is meant to be talking about her crush – about Vasquez. Why is she talking about the Black Mercy? "I'm, uh. I'm not really sure what you're saying, Alex." She smiles, supportive but confused.

Alex bites her lip, finally meeting Kara's gaze. "What I'm saying is that since I realised that I'm into women, I've been rethinking a lot of my past. And that includes rethinking my feelings…for you."

Kara freezes up. Her fingers stop moving. The world is just white noise, buzzing in her ears. All she hears is Alex's heartbeat, surrounded by static. "W-what?" she asks, voice incredulous. She's. She's misunderstanding, right?

Alex smiles from across the table. "I like you, Supergirl. More than as a friend."

Oh.

"Oh."

 _What the hell did you do, J'onn?_ is the first thing Kara asks herself, still frozen in place. 

"You mean, um. You mean in…the gay way?" she eventually says.

Alex's smile starts to fade. "I. I don't want to make you uncomfortable, or pressure you, I just. I just wanted to be honest. There's no pressure for anything. My sister just…told me I should be honest. That I should go for it."

Everything slots into place for Kara. Alex's nervousness. Alex hiding the identity of her crush. Alex asking for advice. Kara giving her advice. Oh, Rao _damn it_.

"M-me? Uncomfortable?" Kara giggles, uncomfortably. "Noooo. I'm. This is—this is fine! Great! It's great, really, it's so great, I'm _so_ okay with it."

Alex's smile fully fades, replaced by a blank mask. "I've made you feel uncomfortable." It isn't a question. She slips her hand away from Kara's, putting distance between them. Her arms cross over her chest protectively. "I'm, uh. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…I won't let it interfere with our work together. Or our friendship, if. If you still want to be friends with me after this."

Kara's heart breaks seeing Alex like this. She should be normal. She should act normal, and supportive, and understanding. She can still fix this; tell Alex that it's all okay. Every second she's silent, she's hurting her sister.

But that last thought just makes her freeze up again. Her sister. Her _sister_ has feelings for her. This isn't right. Things are messed up. J'onn messed up with the mind wipe, or something. Gave her the wrong memories. The wrong emotions.

Kara jerks to her feet, too fast to be human, and Alex flinches.

"I… I need to go."

She leaves before she can second guess herself.

Before she can see Alex's mask start to break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"I'm going to stop hurting Alex soon", I say, lying._
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> _In all seriousness, this is about as bad as it's going to get for Alex for the majority of this story. Things will be looking up for her very, very soon. I promise. For really real this time._


	7. For the Girl Who has Everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Okay. Wow. 5000 views. 444 kudos (I really like that number). I'm. Wow, all of you. Thank you all, so so much, for your support, and your comments, and your kudos. I never dreamed anything I wrote would get this much love and attention._
> 
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> 
> _Please consider this chapter…a thank you, from me to each and every one of you._

Kara pounds on the door to J'onn's apartment, using her x-ray vision to see where he is.

He gets to his feet far too slowly, walking over even slower, and her knocking gets more and more intense… until she blows the door halfway off its hinges with one particularly powerful strike.

She freezes, splinters showering down in front of her.

J'onn sighs. "Come right in, Supergirl."

On another night, she'd rush into apologising. But tonight, she just steps around the wreck of the door, stepping towards J'onn and poking his chest with a finger. "You broke Alex."

His face, if it were possible, grows even more resigned. "She told you."

"Of course she told me."

"And you're here, speaking to me, instead of with her. I'm guessing you left her at the bar right after she told you?"

Kara pauses, flinching a little at the accusation. He's not wrong. "You _knew_!" she says, instead of addressing that.

"I told you that her thoughts have been loud."

"You didn't tell me you were the one who put them there!" she accuses, pacing past him and walking around his apartment, frantic. "She says she has feelings for me. _Me_. You gave her these fake memories, and these fake feelings, and now she's convinced she has feelings for Supergirl. I left her at the bar, probably feeling devastated, because your memory block convinced her she's got feelings for me!"

"Kara." J'onn steps towards her, placing his hands on Kara's shoulders to stop her pacing. "I think that it's about time I explain to you how Martian psychic abilities work. I want you to listen, because this is important – both to my culture, and to Alex's current situation."

Kara takes a few angry breaths, but eventually nods.

"Memories are… delicate," J'onn begins, softly. "They're tricky to change in and of themselves. It's difficult enough to rearrange the pieces in a way that'll be accepted without taking the fluidity and volatility of emotions into account. Especially human emotions. They all feel so _strongly_ , yet so isolated from one another." He waits for a reaction for her. When she nods again, he continues. "Reshaping or creating new memories risks potential rejection already. It's why I chose such a simple block – simply disguising your identity, rather than trying to create anything more complex. I didn't try to convince them you were Cat Grant – I simply blurred the details of their memory. Their own minds fill in the blanks. They restructure things so they make sense, ignoring the parts that don't. If I tried to bluntly replace every memory, it's likely it would be rejected – their mind picking holes in the false story I created, rather than the narrative their own mind provided."

"Prescribing emotions and feelings increases the risk of rejection exponentially. It's much easier, and more natural, to let the mind process those memories on its own, and decide how it _should_ have felt." He pauses, staring into her eyes. "I didn't implant memories, or feelings. I…altered the script of her memories, in small ways, to hide your identity. Her mind filled in the details – the emotions. So, no, Kara. I didn't _make_ her develop feelings for you. I just…removed the element of Supergirl being her sister, and her mind provided the rest."

"…But that's still fake. Your fake memories gave her fake emotions."

J'onn thinks about it for a few seconds, weighing his words carefully. "Alex has been through a paradigm shift recently. She's thinking about her past in all news ways, piecing together truths she never had access to before. She only realised her past feelings for Vicki Donahue, for example, after Detective Sawyer helped her to realise that she had feelings for women. Feelings that she had pushed so deeply that she didn't dare remember them. " 

He looks into her eyes. "She only realised her feelings for Supergirl after I blocked her memories of Supergirl being her sister. Are the feelings she now realises she had for Vicki Donahue false, simply because she's viewing the world through a different lens?"

Kara's mouth opens and closes a few times, brow furrowing. "So you're telling me…that her feelings are real?"

"All feelings are real, Supergirl," he says, simply. "It's just a question of what we choose to do with them."

_ _ _

Kara wakes up the next day less angry than she had been, but far, far more confused.

Alex's feelings for Supergirl are real. They're not some implant from a mind meld, they're real feelings that she would never have thought about if not for the block changing her perspective. But what does that mean? That Alex, her sister, has been burying feelings for her for…what? A year? Longer?

How can she even begin to parse all of that?

And oh, Rao, she ran away from Alex last night. Kara winces and checks her phones.

Her Supergirl phone doesn't have any messages, and, if anything, that makes her feel even worse than if Alex had sent her texts overnight. At least then Alex would've been speaking to her.

Her Kara phone isn't on her bedside table where she could've sworn she left it. She curses, superspeeding out of bed and finally finding it tucked into one of her couch cushions, battery flat. She rushes it to a charger, tapping impatiently as she waits for it to boot up. There's half a dozen texts, two missed calls, and a voicemail. Oh, _Rao_.

Alex ♥ –  
Kara  
Received – 9:54pm Saturday

Alex ♥ –  
Kara please pick up  
Received – 9:56pm Saturday

Alex ♥ –  
I'm at Maggie's favourite bar. Feels great to know I can at least have all my rejection memories be in one place.  
Received – 10:31pm Saturday

Alex ♥ –  
My talk with her went about as well as you'd expect. Rao I'm pathetic  
Received – 10:46pm Saturday

Alex ♥ –  
…I don't know why I said that. God, I'm even talking like her now. Ignore all this, I'll see you for sister night tomorrow  
Received – 10:49pm Saturday

Alex ♥ –  
why doesn't she want me, kara?  
Received – 00:12am Sunday

Kara feels her stomach drop with each and every message she reads, her emotions roiling. Her protective instinct makes her want to hurt the girl who did this to Alex, but…she's the girl who did this to Alex. And…okay. She might not be able to fix this, but she can still be there for Alex tonight. It's sister night. They're still sisters. She can do this.

She presses the button to listen to her voicemail, and she's unsurprised to hear Alex's voice, drunk.

"Heyy Kar. You're probably busy tonight, or you forgot your phone or lost it down the back of the couch again. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I took your advice and talked to her! And it went _great_ , Kar, really. Amazing advice, totally didn't blow up in my face."

Silence, for a few seconds.

"…Sorry. You don't deserve that. You had the right idea, I just…never expected… she just ran away. I told her the truth, I told her nothing had to change, and she ran away. I _love_ her." The word makes Kara freeze up. Love? In the message, Alex starts laughing, loud and wild. "I'm in love with Supergirl. I'm _pathetic_. I'm like those fangirls you see on TV shows who got saved by Superman once and think that makes him their boyfriend. She's a hero. She's superhuman. And I thought…I was stupid enough to think that we were _friends_. To think that we could be _more_. God, how fu—" there's a noise like Alex's phone being dropped, and the message ends.

Kara feels sick.

Love. Alex _loves_ her.

She doesn't respond to any of Alex's messages. She shuts her phone off. There's no way she can face Alex right now – no way she'd be able to be normal at a sister night.

What the hell is she going to do?

_ _ _

The answer comes, as it rarely does, in the form of Winn Schott Junior.

Kara pulls out her own phone, ignoring the unanswered messages to Alex, and taps out a message to Winn.

You –  
Hey, Winn. I need to talk to you about a few things – can we meet up for lunch or something?  
Sent – 11:50am Sunday

Schottfun –  
Kara! My favourite blonde! Light of my life! Where've you been?!  
Received – 11:53am Sunday

You –  
Gotham. Are you free?  
Sent – 11:54am Sunday

Schottfun –  
Okay, whoa. This sounds serious. Okay, I'm going to take an early lunch break. Scary boss isn't in today, anyway. Meet you at Noonan's?  
Received – 11:56am Sunday

You –  
I'll be there.  
Sent – 11:56am Sunday

Sure enough, when Winn walks through the doors of Noonan's fifteen minutes later, Kara's already there, sitting and stress-eating no less than four sticky buns.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay. This is a _four_ sticky bun problem? Oh, man." Winn slides one of the plates away from her, and she glares at him in response. "…Y'know, that is very terrifying, but at this point I'm used to scarier glares, so I'm just going to keep this sticky bun right here and eat it before you put on the decade of weight you should've gained from the amount of food I've seen you eat."

She responds by taking another rough bite out of one of her sticky buns.

"So...hi there, Kara. How ya doin'?"

She gives him a flat look.

"Right, stupid question. Well. Why don't you, uh…tell me a little about what's up, and I'll see if I can help?"

Kara stops chewing at that, swallowing her most recent bite and looking at him. "…I found out someone likes me."

Winn nods. "Ah, immediately an area with which I lack all expertise. Go on."

"I don't know what to do about it."

"Right. Well…whoever it is, he obviously told you about it. And I'm guessing you reacted….poorly?"

"I kind of ran away."

Winn winces. "Ouuuuch, Kar. _Not_ your coolest move."

Kara nods. "Right. And I feel terrible about it, because she just looked so heartbroken as I left, but I couldn't _deal_ with it, and today I found out her feelings are even deeper than I realised, and I don't know what to do."

Winn holds up his hands, stopping her. "Wait, wait. First things first: she?"

Oh, Rao, she did say that, didn't she. There went her plans of being entirely vague. She nods, since there's no point denying it now.

Winn whistles, impressed. "Okay, that's both a whole new ball game, but also something I'm much more experienced with, since decrypting the emotions of women is my second-greatest skill, after understanding people who are desperately into you. So, y'know, I've got this girl's _number_." He pauses. "Metaphorically speaking. I'm sure, considering she's interested in you, she wouldn't literally give me her number."

"Winn."

"Right, okay." Winn takes a bite of his stolen sticky bun. "So, she told you she liked you, and you ran away. Were you…disgusted? Confused?"

She starts picking apart her second sticky bun, ripping off pieces as she thinks, brow furrowing. "…Not disgusted. Confused? Surprised? I mean, I only found out she was interested in women like…two weeks ago, and then she told me…all this. But now, I've hurt her, and she probably thinks I hate her, when really I just…I don't know what to think."

Winn's quiet for a few moments. "So, um. Out of curiosity, how are…. _your_ feelings for this woman? Because that's important for me to know before I can offer you any advice. Is dating this woman, or…y'know, _any_ woman for that matter, something you can see doing?"

Kara opens her mouth, expecting a visceral reaction, an instant denial. But it doesn't come. There's no turn of her stomach, no horror. The only thing she's feeling is regret at hurting Alex, and confusion about the whole thing. But when Winn asks her if she can imagine dating a woman, there's…nothing. She frowns.

"…I'm guessing, from your silence, that it's not an instant no?"

Slowly, she starts to consider it. Starts to consider the idea of a woman as a romantic prospect. Not Alex, Rao, not Alex. But…a woman, maybe?

And she…doesn't hate it.

She thinks of a woman smiling at her the way Alex does, at the end of a date. Imagines seeing her smile like that, lighting up Kara's whole night like Alex's smile can, before the two of them lean in, stepping closer together, lips finally m—

Okay, that's enough of that. 

She snaps out of it, blushing and refocusing on Winn. "I…I don't know."

Winn puts down his sticky bun in order to clap his hands, excited. "Okay! That gives me an interesting bouncing point. The other answers would've all been boring. If you'd said no, I would've just told you to find her, explain that you were surprised but you're straight and not interested and still like her as a friend, and try to mend fences. If you'd said yes flat-out, I would've told you to hit that thang, girl. But maybe? There's a lot I can do with maybe."

Kara snorts, his lightheartedness helping to lift her mood up from her almost-revelation.

Winn pulls a pen from one of his pockets and leans forwards, Noonan's napkin in front of him. He starts writing on it, a _Maybe_ in big letters at the top. "First question: can you tell me who it is?"

"No."

"…Can I guess?"

"Winn."

"Is it Cat Grant?" he asks, instantly. "I had to read through her emails when she got hacked, and, trust me, she is absolutely DTF."

Kara opens her mouth to tell Winn to drop it, or that Cat definitely wasn't interested, and that he should move to the advice, but then curiosity gets the better of her. "…What does DTF mean?"

"It means…" Winn pauses, raising a finger to his lips thoughtfully. "You know what, I'm not going to be the one to corrupt you. You're too innocent, and I treasure that."

Kara rolls her eyes. She _has_ Google.

"Is it Lucy Lane?"

"No! Lucy doesn't have feelings for me. We're friends."

Winn levels a flat look at her. "Everyone you've ever met is a little bit in love with you."

Kara snorts disbelievingly, giving Winn an incredulous look. "What? Love? No they're not!"

"Please. I'm pretty sure _Siobhan_ was a little bit in love with you, and that girl _hates_ you."

Kara feels a blush overtaking her cheeks and shoves tiny, shredded pieces of sticky bun into her mouth. "That's not…pfft. Naaaah," she responds, mouth full.

"Play the cards you're dealt, Kar," Winn responds, reaching over to pat her shoulder.

She grumbles at him.

"Okay, fine. I'll stop asking who it is. But now I know it's not Cat and not Lucy. My net is narrowing." He writes something on the napkin quickly. "So, second question…do you want to ask this woman out? See if there's anything there?"

There's the visceral reaction she was expecting before. She shakes her head rapidly. "No. She's great, and I love her, and she's my friend, but…no. There's, uh. There's no way. We're just friends."

Winn nods, writing more. "Okay. That makes my advice a lot simpler, actually."

"I couldn't do it. We're practically sisters." A little too close to the truth there, Kara.

"Gotcha,"Winn says.

"There's just – I mean, there's just no way I could date her."

"Yep," Winn says.

"I don't feel that way about her, like, at all. There's nothing…no, we're 100% platonic."

" _Super_ platonic," Winn says.

"There's no way I have feelings for her, that'd be ridiculous!"

"Noooo feelings there at all," Winn says.

"Exactly. None! So it's not gonna happen." Kara is suddenly aware that she might have been overdoing it a little. "…I'm glad we're on the same page."

They stare at each other in silence for a few moments, before Winn clears his throat. "Well, uh, thank you for that. That…definitely clears up the data points." He's pauses, tapping his pen on the table awkwardly before something occurs to him. "And hey, we got to have a sexuality crisis together! Is it too early to offer you a bi-five?" He raises a hand.

She snorts and lightly presses her fingers against the palm of his hand gently. "I like how you're talking about my love life in terms of data points now."

"Girl, I've been treating your love life in terms of data points for years."

"Moderately creepy, but, useful right now," she concedes. "Go on."

Winn looks at Kara, going back to tapping the table with his pen. "Third question. Are things fixable, or did you ruin everything with your reaction?"

That one is a punch in the gut. Kara takes a shaky breath. "It was…bad, Winn. I left before I could see the worst of it, but even as I was leaving she was just…I really, really hurt her."

"But?"

"…But I think I could explain. I think I could make things better."

Winn writes down two more words, before tapping his pen against his fingers. "Last question. And it's a big one." He takes a breath. "Is she worth it?"

Kara can't help the smile that overtakes her face, and she nods, without hesitation. "Yeah."

Winn grins broadly, writing three words at the bottom of the napkin and underlining them before handing the napkin over to Kara.

_Kara's Love Life v4.0_  
Winn Schott's Bi-Fi strikes again!  
Mystery person (not Cat, not Lucy)  
Not interested.  
Friendship salvageable. 

_ TALK TO HER _

Kara frowns. "That's it? 'Talk to her'?"

Winn nods. "That's step one. First things first, you gotta apologise. Sort out how you hurt her last night. Then, and _only_ then, do you move on to step two."

"What's step two?"

"You explain that you're very flattered, but not interested," he says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

Kara opens her mouth to interject, but Winn holds up a hand.

"You can't open with that. You've already hurt her. So first, you need to mend fences. And once the fences are mended, then you can let her down easy and tell her that you don't see her the same way."

Kara grumbles something under her breath.

Winn ignores her. "You told me you don't like her like that. And that's okay. The important thing is to salvage your friendship with her and apologise for your actual screw-ups, before you start trying to explain the genuine feelings behind your screw-ups."

Kara doesn't look entirely convinced. "Won't that…y'know, lead her on?" 

"Sure, she might get a little hopeful when you show up apologising for how you acted last night. But if you just went up and said you're not interested without apologising to her first, you'd just hurt her even more, because she'd still be convinced she's ruined your friendship with her feelings." Winn pauses. "And, believe me, as a guy who could be used as the poster for an MRA's idea of 'the friendzone' if those assholes ever got hold of my story, 'leading someone on' just kind of… isn't a _thing_. Miscommunication is usually to blame, so just…be sure you're on the same page with her."

Kara stops to think about it. When she doesn't see any flaws in his plan, she nods slowly, slipping the napkin into her handbag. "That…actually all makes sense."

"Don't sound _that_ surprised," Winn grumbles. 

Kara gets to her feet, stepping around the table to wrap him in a hug. She feels like a weight has been lifted. Like she knows what to do, now. "Thank you, Winn. Really."

"Mehhh, girl troubles are the one thing I can handle," he says, returning the hug tightly. "We'll catch up properly soon, when the new job's less busy. Promise."

"Promise." She smiles at him, before walking out of Noonan's, the slightest spring in her step.

She leaves her last sticky bun behind.

_ _ _

Kara stares at her bed, worrying her lip between her teeth.

On the right, next to her pillow, she's got her Supergirl uniform.

On the left, she's got her Kara Danvers clothes. Relaxed, comfy clothes for a sister night.

And in each hand, she has one of her phones.

She could visit Alex as Supergirl right now. Just fly out of the window, and go to her apartment, and explain everything. Explain…what? Explain that she doesn't feel the same way? Explain that she ran away because Alex is her sister? Explain…Rao, she doesn't even know what she'd explain.

Earlier, with Winn, her decision had seemed clear. But now…now, she's second-guessing herself. Wouldn't talking to Alex as Supergirl just cause her more pain at this point? Wouldn't it be better to just avoid her until their memories are back?

She could text Alex as Kara – tell her that sister night is on, comfort her through her heartbreak, and try to ignore the fact that Kara herself is the cause of that heartbreak. Ignore it, and have Alex hate Supergirl, until their memories are back. But an entire night of hiding everything and ignoring the fact that she caused this sounds…impossible, to her. Let alone however long it takes for everything to be fixed.

There's no way she can do that. It would hurt her soul too much, to be the cause of Alex's pain and the catharsis from it.

She could just avoid her – decide that dealing with Alex's feelings and all the lies is too hard, and just…opt out. Fly out as Supergirl, and miss the sister night. That would probably make Alex self-destruct, but in the long run, it could be…kinder. Pain now, for relief once Alex gets her memories back. Assuming Alex's liver could handle that.

No way. Abandoning Alex as Supergirl _and_ as Kara would break her. Would break both of them. There's no way she can do that.

She groans, collapsing on to her pile of clothes and dropping her phones on either side of her. Why does nothing work?

Her Kara phone buzzes with a notification, and she reaches blindly towards it, hand trailing over the fabric of her Supergirl uniform before she manages to find it.

Then she freezes. Her fingers poke the phone, then her uniform.

 _That_ could work.

She rolls over, lifting her phone and typing out a text.

You –  
Sister night is on, I'll bring the food. I'm sorry for my silence today. I'll explain everything when you're here.  
Draft– 5:32pm Sunday

She presses the send button before she can second-guess herself.

_ _ _

Kara hears the key in the lock. She sees Alex through the doorway, two bottles of wine (and one of bourbon, stashed in her jacket pocket – damn it, Alex) in her hand as she opens the door.

"Kara?" she calls, placing the bottles down. "You here?"

After a few seconds of no response, Alex frowns and draws her pistol from her shoulder holster. "Kara?" she asks again, stepping forwards.

Which is when Kara decides to make her arrival from where she's been hiding out on the opposite rooftop. Now or never. She steps down through her window, making sure to flutter the curtains and her cape a little more than strictly necessary as she lands.

Alex whirls around at the sound of Kara's boots clicking on to the floor, gun raised, and Kara raises her arms.

"Supergirl?" Alex hesitates, taking half a step forwards before scoffing and holstering her gun again. She turns away, as if she can't even look at Supergirl, and Kara finds herself wincing. "What are you doing here? Where's Kara?"

"She's fine, don't worry about that. I, um. I asked her for…some time. With you. To talk."

Alex snorts. "Suddenly you wanna spend time with me, great. Did you have to pick sister night for it?"

"Alex, please look at me." 

It's not what Kara meant to say. She meant to jump right in with the apologies, but this slips out instead. Alex turns around to face her, and the look in her eyes breaks Kara's heart.

"So, um, your sister spent most of today yelling at me," Kara says, laughing a little. "She, um. She told me I was stupid, and selfish, and that running away from things doesn't fix anything." It's not technically a lie. The yelling just happened inside her own mind.

"…Are we talking about the same Kara Danvers, here?" Alex asks, anger momentarily melting away in the face of incredulity.

"I guess you bring out a protective streak in her. She was, uh. Pretty furious with me." Furious with herself. It counts. "But, I convinced her to let me talk to you."

Alex crosses her arms. "Then talk."

"...I'm sorry. For last night, for the past week. I'm. I'm so sorry."

"Sorry? You're _sorry_?" Alex snarls. "I came out to you! I told you something so important, and in response you avoided me for a week. And then, when you apologised for that, when you promised me you'd be supportive, I actually _believed you_. I believed you, we went out for drinks, and then…I had the courage to tell you I liked you. I was _proud_ to come out to you, because it wasn't just some concept. It was about my feelings for this amazing, wonderful alien. This beautiful girl from the stars."

Kara swallows, heavily. "Alex, please…"

"But now?" Alex interjects, "All I feel is _pain_. Because you don't _want_ me."

"Go on a date with me," Kara blurts.

Both of their eyes widen at the same time. 

Oh, Rao. What did she just say?

"What?"

"Um." Oh, Rao, think. "You, um. You scare me, Alex. And I ran away last night, because, when I look at you…I don't know what I feel." This isn't helping, Kara. This is called leading her on. "I know I care for you, so much, but I don't…I thought I knew. I thought I had _everything_ figured out. But now, when I look at you….I'm scared, and confused." This is the one thing she was afraid of doing, why does she keep doing it.

Alex blinks, stepping closer to Supergirl.

"Are you saying…"

"I don't know for sure. I might be wrong, I might be just…confused about emotions. This isn't…it isn't me saying I'm sure about any of this. I might be totally wrong, and I want…I want us to both know that, since my friends say that miscommunication is the bane of all friendships." She pauses, taking a breath. "This is me saying…I hear there's a great pinball bar nearby?"

Alex dares to let a smile slowly cross her features, and Kara's night finally feels like it might be okay. "Yeah?"

"I…I don't know if I'm feeling what you're feeling. I don't know if what I think of you is platonic. But…I think I'd like to find out, with you." Rao, what is she doing? "Slowly. Very slowly."

Alex laughs, quietly. "Slowly. I can do slowly. This is all new to me, too. So, um…Tuesday?"

"Tuesday? Really?"

"Oh, come on," Alex defends. "We've got jobs at the DEO, we never get weekends off. You know how busy Sundays can be for us."

Kara rolls her eyes good-naturedly and nods. "Tuesday, then."

"…So, pinball, huh?"

And just like that, the tension in the room breaks. "Well, I hear you're the sort of nerd who'd love that."

"You're right. I am the sort of nerd who loves that," Alex smiles, far too gently, and Kara steps away, fingers playing with the hem of her cape.

"Okay, I'm going to, uh, let you and Kara have your sister night. She'll be here with food, soon."

"Up, up, and away, Stargirl," Alex says, softly.

_ _ _

When Kara walks through the door ten minutes later, a bag of Chinese food held precariously under her chin, she's greeted by the sight of Alex doing a happy dance in the middle of the apartment, a glass of wine in her hand. Dancing to…

Kara's eyes widen comically and she laughs. "Is this _For the Girl Who has Everything_?!"

Alex turns around, beaming. "All your CDs are 'N Sync!" she shouts over the music, and all of Kara's doubts about the decision she just made fade away. She'll probably have a crisis about it in the morning. But for tonight? She just joins in with the singing. Steps close to take one of Alex's hands, spinning her around as they both giggle and dance to the greatest boyband of all time.

" _Why do you run and hide?_  
_Say what you feel inside,_  
_Why must you always fake it?_  
_Girl you need to understand,_  
_Your heart is safe within my hands,_  
_And I promise I'll never break it, oh!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _I know that you still dream of what money can't buy for you,_   
>  _And in my dreams I'll make your wish come true._


	8. Tilt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _This chapter, I want to finally talk about my amazing beta reader and fiancée. Nanocytix has been reading and offering comments on every chapter of this story as I've been working on it, and has been a constant soundboard for me to throw ideas at, for us to talk about the plot or about scenes I imagined. And she's offered some amazing suggestions._
> 
> _The largest of those suggestions (so far) came last chapter. The scene with J'onn explaining how his psychic abilities work was a scene that I've been talking about with her since the first chapter – a scene where it makes it clear that these feelings of Alex's are real, not something that J'onn has created. Something important to talk about, for reasons of consent and clarity. And, when I was talking about it with her, she, out of nowhere, said_ "It could, say, be something along the lines of 'Memories are delicate, and tricky to change in and of themselves. It's difficult enough to rearrange the pieces in a way that'll be accepted without taking the fluidity and volatility of emotions into account. Reshaping or creating new memories risks potential rejection on its own. Prescribing emotions and feelings to them increases that risk exponentially. So it's much easier, and more natural to let the mind process those memories on its own, and decide how it should've felt."
> 
> _That dialogue was ultimately quoted almost verbatim last chapter, with additions and slight editing to fit the scene and add extra parts as needed. But it was so perfect, and summarised everything so eloquently, that it…really didn't need any changing. She has made this story better in a million ways with a million suggestions, large and small. Words I should switch, sentences that flow oddly. And last chapter, the core dialogue of one of the most important scenes of the story – the scene where Kara starts to understand Alex's feelings. So…thank you, darling. I love you. And…marry me?_

"Goodnight, Alex."

"G'night," Alex says, giving Kara one last hug for the night. "And hey, Kar? Thank you, again. For not laughing at me. For…taking me seriously. And for yelling at Supergirl."

Kara smiles softly. "I'd do anything for you. We both know that."

She hesitates in the doorway, looking towards the stairs Alex has descended after giving her one final really, definitely the last hug of the night, and gently rests her head against the doorframe.

Anything for Alex. Right.

_ _ _

She can't concentrate at work. Of course she can't.

What had she been thinking? Oh, right, of course, she hadn't been thinking. She'd seen Alex was sad, and she'd wanted to fix that. And now she was going on a date with Alex. With her sister. Tomorrow. The thought completely overrides all attempts to work and she groans, dropping her head on to her desk with enough force to leave a dent. Dang it, super strength.

Today's supposed to be good, and happy. Her article has been published, and she's had congratulation texts from Alex, Eliza, Winn, James, Lucy…pretty much everyone. But of all of those, it's the text from Alex that makes her insides feel strange as she looks at it, and sours the rest of them. How can she read an earnest text congratulating her and telling her that Alex loves her…when at the same time, Alex has feelings for her alter-ego. When Supergirl is leading Alex on.

No. No. Enough of that. Winn said yesterday that there was no such thing.

Kara's just…trying to keep Alex happy, until her memories come back.

Right.

Yeah.

That sounds right.

She knows Alex would be upset by Supergirl outright rejecting her, but Kara can't tell her the _truth_ of her identity right now with the investigation still happening. So this is just…finding a midpoint. She takes things slowly, bends the truth a little, and just…keeps Alex happy until the memory block is removed. It's a clever way of keeping her cover intact.

Conniving. Definitely what she was going for.

It's amazing, really. She's surprised she managed to come up with the idea all on her own. The only downside of it is—

Her Supergirl phone buzzes and she grabs it quickly, checking it for any important messages or emergencies that would let her get away from CatCo.

Alex ♥ –  
I can't stop thinking about our date tomorrow.  
Received – 10:06am Monday

Right. The only downside is that she's going on a _date_ with Alex. A date. What exactly does one do for a date with one's sister who doesn't realise you're her sister? Is that how the royal 'one' works? Kara's crash course in journalism didn't teach her that.

Her phone buzzes again.

Alex ♥ –  
That's probably a good thing, right? I've never felt excited about a date before.  
Received – 10:07am Monday

Alex ♥ –  
Are you thinking about it too?  
Received – 10:07am Monday

Alex ♥ –  
Sorry. You're probably busy. Ignore all that.  
Received – 10:09am Monday

Kara bites her lip.

Alex ♥ –  
…We're still on for tomorrow, right?  
Received – 10:10am Monday

It's so un-Alex-like. Kara feels an ache in her chest with every text she receives. The Alex she knows and loves is so sure of herself, so confident in her abilities as an agent and a scientist. She's never seen Alex like this – uncertain and hesitant.

You –  
Definitely. I wouldn't miss it for the worlds. ♥  
Sent – 10:11am Monday

She puts her phone down, sighing and rubbing her eyes. Work. Right. She can do work. She can write, and be creative, and do all the things a journalist needs to do.

It's only five minutes later, when her phone pings twice more that Kara realises the emoji she unthinkingly added to the end of the message.

Alex ♥ –  
Moving a little quick there, Stargirl.  
Received – 10:16am Monday

Alex ♥ –  
Oh, screw it. <3  
Received – 10:17am Monday

…She stares at the simple emoticon at the end of Alex's text, and feels horribly out of her depth.

She's going to need some backup on this.

The question is: who?

She can't go to Winn – if she went to him as Kara she'd be obvious she ignored his advice, and if she went to him as Supergirl then…it might end up too obvious that it's about Alex, especially considering all of Winn's comments over the past few days which make _way_ more sense in retrospect. That equally writes out Vasquez. Going to J'onn would be horrifyingly embarrassing. James would be no help right now. Lena Luthor? Maybe, but they weren't exactly close enough to chat about first date behaviour yet.

Kara groans and drops her head on to her desk again.

_ _ _

The answer comes, of all places, from paperwork.

Kara is as amazed as everyone else would be if they knew about her dilemma. When have _any_ answers come from paperwork?

She'd responded to a jewellery store heist just before her lunch break, and stopped off at the DEO to check in. And now, she stands within J'onn's office, as he holds out a file towards her. She glances between it, the Gotham snowglobe on his desk, and the martian himself.

"Alex looks happy today," he says simply, and she grumbles at him as she snatches the offending manila folder, flicking through it. "It's the NDA you needed for your new friend. There's no rush to get it to her, considering your schedule. I just wanted to write it up and prepare it, before anything else distracts us."

Kara's mouth falls open. _Backup_.

"Um, I. Sure. I'll, uh, I'll get it to her when I can. No rush on it, y'know, not like I can fly over there any time when I've got work and everything."

She's overdoing it again. She giggles nervously, opening the door so he can't question her out of the risk of people hearing. "Bye, J'onn! Thanks for the form!"

Once she's out of the DEO, it's a quick flight back to her apartment to grab a change of Kara Danvers clothes to pack into a backpack. Seventy minute flight time, she'd arrive just in time for a late lunch date. She can do this.

She pulls out her Kara phone, and sends two texts off.

You –  
A lead on a potential article got back to me, I need to check it out. I know I'm supposed to be in the office today, but this is time-sensitive.  
Sent – 11:58am Monday

Superman's Other Muscular Bald Friend –   
Of course. I'll cover for you with Snapper if he starts running around yelling for you.  
Received – 12:00pm Monday

The second text is a lot more important, and she sends it when she's already taken off from her apartment, pointing herself towards Gotham.

You –  
I know this is last minute, but would you like to meet up for lunch in 75 minutes? I need some advice and you're the only person I know I could talk to.  
Sent -12:01pm Monday

She's leaving National City airspace when she gets a response.

Lucia –  
You know exactly what to say to me, my dear. I do hope you're on your way.  
Received – 12:05pm Monday

_ _ _

"Not that I don't appreciate your company, darling, but we've been here for twenty minutes, you have barely said a word to me, and you have not told me why you came all this way to see me."

Kara giggles nervously, playing with her plate. "Can't I just be happy to come visit my new friend in Gotham, and take a trip to bring you the NDA?" She gestures towards the signed piece of paper on the table between them.

Lucia levels a flat look at her. "You could, but you did not."

Her nervous giggling intensifies. "H-how could you know that?"

And, in return, Lucia's flat expression flattens further. "Firstly, it's a work day – missing one job for the _other one_ I understand, but not skipping out on both to visit me on a whim. Secondly, and more importantly…your text _did_ tell me you needed some advice." Oh, dang it, she did say that, didn't she? Lucia reaches over, resting a hand on Kara's. "You can talk to me, Kara. Whatever it is that bothers you."

"…I have a date. Tomorrow night."

"Oh, delightful!" Lucia's expression brightens, and she beams at Kara.

"Y-yeah, it's. It's great. Really." Her smile feels a little like she's trying to eat lemons. Be _less_ convincing, Kara.

"You do not seem delighted by the turn of events. Do I need to punch a man for you to ensure he leaves you alone?"

Kara's eyes widen. "Nooo, nothing like that! It's not that…the person I'm going on the date with is great. She's wonderful," Kara ignores the way Lucia's eyes flash at the pronoun, "and beautiful and talented. I'm just. Our whole situation is complicated, and I don't have feelings for her, I definitely don't, like, Rao, definitely not, and that isn't even what I texted you for advice about because there's nothing even going on there to explain."

Lucia looks at her in the same way Winn did yesterday. Kara doesn't like it.

"…What I need advice with is the fact that it's a date that I'm, uh. I'm going on as my _other_ style."

That makes her eyes widen. "You're going on a _date_ as...oh my, that _is_ interesting."

"And normally I'd go to my sister for advice, but uh…" Kara falters. "…I can't do that this time. For reasons. And none of my other friends would understand, or they'd gossip, and I can't handle that. So…I need help? I haven't been on a _date_ date in like…over a year, and I don't know what to do, and I've _never_ been to one as, uh. Her."

Lucia rests a chin on her hand. "Oh, this I can certainly help you with. First thing's first: what will you be wearing?"

Oh. Kara freezes up. "Uh…I was…probably just going to go in, uh, my suit?"

Not the right answer, judging by her lunch-mate's frown. "You are going to go on a _date_ in that…spandex-skirted El-branded uniform?"

"…Yes?"

"Absolutely not. On the day-to-day, it looks gorgeous and accentuates your figure wonderfully. But for this, it is unacceptable." Lucia waves over a server to pay. "And equally, you cannot wear your usual charming Kara Danvers clothing. It has deeply endeared you to myself, I will grant you, but if your date is as your other self, I feel you will want to avoid all of your usual fashions."

Kara has a sinking feeling. "I…don't think I like where this is going."

"We are going shopping, my dear." She smirks. "Your date won't know what you shall hit her with."

_ _ _

Kara flops into her apartment, groaning under the weight of half a dozen bags from stores too expensive for her to ever visit. Oh, Rao. When rich, fashionable women went shopping, they really, really went shopping.

Kara freezes.

Alex is standing in front of her, eyebrow quirked.

"Alex!"

Oh, shoot.

"Kara. Why…all the bags? Wait, is that a bag from _Escada_?"

Yes. It is.

"What's Escada?" Kara says, instead, then kicks herself mentally. _What's Escada_? Really, Kara? Cat would be ashamed.

Alex furrows her brows, stepping towards her and trying to peek in the bag. "What do you even have in there—"

Kara yanks the bags back. "Uh. Uh. Presents! For the holidays. You know. I started getting them early this year, and I was keeping them in my office at work but I decided to bring them home, and, uh, the bags aren't where they're actually from, they're." Kara puts on her best serious expression. "They're from some of Cat's shopping. I always kept the bags. For this reason."

Alex blinks, but Kara isn't quite done yet.

"And what are you doing here, anyway? It's not even five, aren't you supposed to be at the DE—at the FBI?"

Dang it. Almost slipped up. Again.

Alex takes a slow breath. "Kara. Breathe for me. I know you know about the DEO."

What? "What?"

"You're friends with Supergirl. You've seen the news. Of course you know. Plus, almost slipping up twice in about a week made it…a little obvious." Alex steps closer, placing a hand on Kara's shoulder. "And I'm sorry I never told you. It's…I wanted to. Every single day, I wanted to tell you, y'know? You're the most important person in my life, no matter what, and I wanted to share _everything_ with you."

Oh. Kara smiles, softly, gently. "I understand, Alex. Really. I never held it against you, keeping it a secret. I know…sometimes you have to keep secrets to protect the ones you love. Even if you want to tell them the truth, sometimes you just have to…hide it."

"Sounds like you're speaking from experience," Alex drawls. "What have you been hiding?"

"Nothing! Nothing."

Alex snorts and hugs Kara. "Well, alright. I won't pry, but only because you haven't pried into my DEO life despite knowing for God knows how long."

"…Can I visit you at work now you know I know?"

Alex pulls back, holding her by the shoulders and thinking about it. "Not right now. Normally, I'd say yes, definitely, but…right now, we're kind of under investigation. And no, before you ask, I can't tell you any more details about why. But there are people there who are questioning everyone with clearance to access the building. If I brought you in, they'd probably yank you into an interrogation room and stick sensors to your head."

Kara shudders. She's not looking forward to that as Supergirl – she can only imagine how bad it would be if they tried to read Kara Danvers and found they couldn't read her thoughts. "Sensors. Eugh."

"Now. Go hide those presents somewhere, then I'll start freaking out at you about my date tomorrow? My boss sent me home early since I was, to quote Winn, 'vibrating in my seat like The Flash'. I still can't believe I missed meeting him, by the way. I'm gonna need your advice and your help, because I have not been on a date in a year. And I am lost and very confused."

Kara giggles and nods, stepping away and hurrying around the corner to hide the bags. It's only once she's out of Alex's line of sight that she dares to take a breath.

_ _ _

The next evening has her standing in her room, looking at her clothing, again. This feels like it's becoming a pattern. The only difference is, this time she's looking at clothes far outside her budget range, from the fanciest stores Gotham has on offer. Well, if there's one thing that'll make her seem separate to Kara Danvers, it'll be expensive clothes, she supposes. Expensive clothes for her date with her sister.

Is she really doing this?

Her phone buzzes and she takes that as a reminder to breathe, taking a shaky breath and checking.

Alex ♥ –  
Kara. Sister emergency. Clothes. Date. Supergirl. Help.  
Received – 5:19pm Tuesday

Kara giggles. She can't help herself. Rao, Alex is adorable.

You –  
Blue button-up shirt, black waistcoat. Roll the sleeves up. Pants of your choice, just make them dark. Dark red lipstick if any.  
Sent – 5:21pm Tuesday

Alex ♥ –  
Okay yeah that looks really good. Have you been planning this out for me?  
Received – 5:24pm Tuesday

Alex ♥ –  
Also, blue and red? Really?  
Received – 5:24pm Tuesday

You –  
I don't know what you're talking about. ;)  
Sent – 5:26pm Tuesday

Alex ♥ –  
Uh huh.  
Received – 5:26pm Tuesday

Kara pauses for a moment, biting her lip in consideration, before she finally types out one final message.

You –  
Knock her dead, sis.  
Sent – 5:28pm Tuesday

She takes a slow breath. Knock her dead. She can do this. She worked as Cat Grant's assistant. She took on Maxwell Lord and Non and all the other Fort Rozz prisoners. She's interviewed Luthors. She's Supergirl. This is just one date.

Her hands reach automatically towards the glasses on her bedside table before she stops herself. Not Kara Danvers tonight. She takes a breath, pulling down her hair and letting it fall in waves around her shoulders. She lifts the deep blue dress from its place on her bed, eyeing up her usual Supergirl tights and boots, next to the deep red leather jacket that had cost Lucia about half of what Kara made in a year. Blue and red. Right. Gotta keep the brand alive somehow, she supposes.

She takes one last look at her phone, at the lock picture of herself and Alex smiling and laughing about something ridiculous, faces squeezed next to each other to fit into the frame. They both looked so happy then. This doesn't have to ruin that. They can still be okay. She just needs to get them through this without messing everything up permanently.

It's showtime.

_ _ _

Alex is already there when Kara arrives, floating in the air above _Tilt_. Of course Alex got there early, it's Alex. Always anxious, always arriving before she needs to, just in case she's needed. And she went with the lipstick. Good choice. Kara takes one last deep breath, then swoops down into an alley and resists every instinct she has to change her clothes or put her glasses on. Instead, she walks out to the front of the building and opens the door.

The moment she does, Alex's head jerks upwards from her phone, and the reaction is immediate. Alex's mouth falls open, her heart rate spikes, her pupils dilate. Kara sees every detail of it, and she can't help the shiver in her spine. It's so obvious, now that she recognises it as attraction. The heart palpitations, the nervousness. It makes sense, and Kara feels a little like an idiot for not realising it sooner. It's…odd, seeing Alex look at her like that. Look at her like…no. 

Okay. She can do this.

She smiles broadly, approaching Alex and greeting her with a hug. They hug, right? Yeah, Supergirl hugs. She steps back after a moment, and Alex is still staring.

"Hi, Alex."

She blinks. Once. Twice. "S-Supergirl. Hi. You're, um. You're wearing a…I mean, I've never seen you out of your…I mean, you look…you look _great_."

Kara giggles, blushing very slightly. It might be Alex, but getting a compliment that sincere from anyone is a pleasure. "Well, thank you. You look very dapper yourself. Love the waistcoat." She pauses, watching Alex's smile grow, and feels a surge of boldness. "Red and blue? Are you trying to tell me something here, Agent Danvers?"

Alex flushes a little, muttering something under her breath and rubbing the back of her neck.

Kara giggles, pleased to have flustered Alex so quickly, when Alex's expression grows more serious, more sincere. Their eyes lock, and Kara's breath catches.

"Nothing you don't already know, Supergirl."

Oh boy.

She adjusts non-existent glasses, laughing nervously and stepping away.

"So, uh. Drinks? Then I'll kick your butt at pinball?"

Alex gives Kara a look. "Drinks? I have it under good authority that the hot dogs here are some of the best in the city that aren't bought from a food truck. And I know how you feel about food. You aren't getting stingy on me just because you're paying, are you?"

"Wait, why am I paying?!" She unleashes The Pout.

"Nope. Nuh uh. The pout isn't gonna work right now. _You_ asked _me_ out! The date-ee doesn't pay, the date-r does! That's how this works." There's a few moment of pause, then Alex grins, far too pleased with herself, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Supergirl asked me out on a date."

Kara grins right back. "Well, this dress was _very_ expensive, and I am only working on a government salary. You know how the DEO pays us. Maybe I can't afford to get you an eleven-dollar hot dog?"

"Oh, God, eleven dollars? You're right, we should just go to a food truck. Super-speed us some something from Gotham."

"So bossy! Which one of us is running the date here, you or me?"

"Well, right now, neither of us, since we're just standing here arguing about food." Alex quirks her eyebrow challengingly.

"If you didn't think a date with me would start like that then I really don't know what you expected."

"…You know, you're absolutely right, this is exactly how I imagined this date starting."

They both burst into giggles, leaning against each other companionably as Kara rides out the laughter.

"Alright," Kara tries, then starts laughing again. Okay. She takes a breath. "Okay." The briefest of snorts from Alex. "Right. Since I'm the one in charge of this date…hot dogs and beer. And then I need to kick your butt."

"Bring it on, Stargirl."

_ _ _

Alex is, as it turns out, as good at pinball as she is at pool.

Kara is, as it turns out, exponentially _worse_ at pinball than she is at pool.

"What was it you said the other week?" Alex asks, as they watch an employee wheel away Kara's machine to unjam it. And fix the cracked paddles. And maybe repair one of the legs she almost broke off when she rocked the machine too vigorously. "'Velocities and geometry are easy to you' or something like that?"

"In my defence…" Kara begins, then pauses.

She really can't think of anything to say in her defence right now.

"Yeah, tell me all about how your skill with flying without cracking the pavement gives you all the skills you need to play pinball."

Kara grumbles as they step over to their table.

"So, before you broke the machine, that was…what? The first four games I beat your score?" She holds up her fingers, grinning. "And then you broke the poor innocent pinball machine on the fifth game, so I definitely won that one, and…is there a bonus attached to me making you _break a pinball machine_?"

Alex lifts her glass, taking a gulp of beer as she circles the table to stand next to her date.

"Oh, you think _you_ made me break the machine? No. I just got riled up by the game. Not by your taunting and trash talk."

Alex quirks an eyebrow challengingly, stepping closer. Her legs are dangerous near to Kara's and oh, when did she get so close? Kara freezes up as Alex takes another slow sip from her bottle. "Would you _like_ me to rile you up?"

Oh boy.

Oh boy.

What should she do?

What should she say?

She breaks the edge of the table off.

The snapping sound makes Alex's eyes flick downwards to Kara's hand, and she takes a step backwards, giving them both their personal space. "Sorry," she says, rubbing her neck. "I…you said you wanted to take it slowly, at whatever pace you're comfortable with. I didn't mean to…sorry."

Kara reaches out, taking Alex's hand. "You don't have to apologise. It was…a little forward, yeah, but, I've definitely had much, much worse dates than this." She smiles gently.

Okay. Lighten the mood. This is too serious and heartfelt, and Kara can't deal with that.

"…I guess you just got me a little _tilted_."

Alex groans. "Boo! Lame!"

"You're lame!" she retorts, cleverly.

"And yet you're the one who got her ass beat at pinball by me. I am the mistress of cool." Alex tugs at the collar of her shirt to emphasise her point, smirking.

"So lame," she retorts again, before Alex emotionally destroys her by sticking her tongue out. It's devastating.

They fall silent for a minute, Kara tapping the edge of the table with the fragment she broke off (she'll pay them back for the damages. She feels like she ends up doing that a lot).

"So, what were we playing for, anyway? Because I've got five victories under my belt now, and I still don't know what I've won."

Kara thinks about it, furrowing her brow. Huh. What _had_ they been playing for? Alex loved to bet when playing with friends, but they hadn't discussed any terms before they started playing. Money felt too…impersonal, for something that's supposed to be a date. "You know…I have no idea?"

Alex leans forwards slightly on the table, fingers toying with a bottle cap. "Well, I have a few ideas." Her voice drops low, and Kara feels her own heart rate spike again right after it had started calming down. "…but all of them are a little faster than the glacial pace we've agreed upon. So…drinks?"

Kara thinks about it.

She really thinks about it.

She still doesn't know how much longer the investigation will be going – how much longer Alex won't know who Supergirl is. It might be a few days, but it could be…weeks.

And, a small voice in the back of her mind adds, she still doesn't know how she feels about all of this. She doesn't know how she feels about Alex's apparent feelings. She doesn't understand any of it. It's confusing, and intoxicating, and Kara knows she should stop, should say the date didn't work out. 

Should shut it all down before she hurts Alex.

"I think…that I beat you at pool, and you beat me at pinball." Kara takes a breath, readying herself for what she's about to say. For the bad, bad decision she's about to make. "It sounds to me like we need a tie-breaker. Another night."

Alex's eyes widen, And Kara knows that she's recognised that for what it is. An invitation for a second date. An expression of…continued interest, from Supergirl.

Of continued interest from Kara.

Alex beams, and nods, and Kara can't bring herself to regret her decision. Not when she gets to see her this happy. 

_ _ _

Kara walks Alex up to her apartment this time, instead of standing outside.

They're laughing about a story that, in truth, Kara's heard three times before – of Alex at a Christmas party back when she worked at a hospital in Seattle, and of how she accidentally walked into the room where her (married) boss was making out with her coworker.

"Oh, Rao!"

"So I'm mortified, and pretty sure I'm about to get fired. But neither of them even _notice_ me, and I try to close the door and forget I even saw anything. But right as I go to close the door, what do I hear?" Her voice switches to a low, sultry tone. "Oh my, sir, it seems we have a Code Silver in the hospital – a man's been spotted with a _very dangerous_ weapon".

Kara bursts out laughing, too loud in the staircase of Alex's apartment building, but she doesn't care. She's heard that story three times, but she's never heard Alex deliver it like that.

She leans against Alex as they make their way up the stairs, until they reach her doorway. "How was your time in Seattle even real? It sounds like it was a bunch of teenagers flirting all the time and never getting any work done."

Alex turns to face her and steps back, looking thoughtful for a moment. "You know, it's a mystery to me, too."

Kara snorts and nods.

"So, this is me."

"Yeah."

She x-rays through the wall, giving it a cursory once-over. Less of a mess of clothes this time. So that's good. "It's a nice apartment you've got there."

Alex laughs incredulously. "Did you just use your x-ray vision to look at my apartment instead of just asking if you could come in?"

She shrugs. "I wasn't sure if it would be neat enough for visitors, and I didn't want to intrude."

"You're never intruding. Really." Alex smiles. "Would you, uh, like to come in for some coffee or something, and to actually look around the place for real?"

Kara freezes.

Is she asking what she thinks she's asking? She can't…seriously be asking that, right? It's a bad choice of words, right?

Alex freezes too. "Just an actual cup of coffee!!" She reassures Kara, and they both relax a little. "Nothing else. Slow pace. Glacial! I just know you like coffee, and that human alcohol doesn't affect you, and so I thought…"

Kara smiles and places a hand on Alex's shoulder comfortingly to stop the word soup pouring from her mouth. "Alex. I would love to, but it's getting a little late and we both have work tomorrow. I should probably run a patrol before bed, anyway."

Alex nods. "Right."

"But you've earned yourself a second date. Soon."

The two of them stare at each other for a few long moments.

"Goodnight, Supergirl."

"Goodnight, Alex."

Neither one of them moves.

"I had a lot of fun tonight."

"So did I. It was…really nice. Definitely one of the better first—"

Whatever she's about to say next gets derailed by Alex leaning forwards and kissing her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Okay. So. Um. Hi? That "one week per update" schedule kind of dissolved suddenly, didn't it? One week between each chapter for seven chapters, then two_ months _between 7 and 8. Things I've done since the last chapter: Had a bad cold. Uploaded A Catco Magazine Halloween, Sappho of Midvale, the first chapter of Blood Bonds, and part four of Yearning, Burning, all for Kalex. Uploaded Mistakes for Supercorp. Got really invested in and uploaded no less than_ four _Doctor Who Thirteen/Yasmin fics. Visited my fiancée in Texas and met her family for Thanksgiving. Binge-watched and got incredibly invested in She-Ra. Attended my grandmother's funeral. Had ANOTHER bad cold. Wrote MOST of my Kalex Secret Santa gift. Wrote 5000 words of a Life is Strange Fake Dating concept. Anything else? Maybe? I don't know._
> 
> _All I know is that this chapter took an intense amount of effort and time, and that my focus slid off it like glass a lot of the time, hence the number of unrelated fics. And now, finally…it's here. I hope the ending was worth the wait. ;D_


	9. Flipped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"I would like to thank not only God, and also Jesus, but MOST IMPORTANTLY Daxolotl for being fucking prescient" - coffeehousehaunt, 2019_

There have been a few moments of Kara's life where time felt frozen, and most of them were bad.

The time she snuck into her father's lab and had run into the table as a child, giving her a scar between her eyebrows. She'd seen blood, and felt so much pain, and been convinced she was dying. (Pain's an old friend to her by now. She supposes that was the start.)

Seeing her planet explode. Hearing the surface crack and pop and burn. It had been such a brief moment, the planet there one second and gone the next, but even now, when she closes her eyes, she can hear it.

The Phantom Zone, of course. Time really didn't pass there. An endless void of nothingness, stretching on and on and on with nothing but her memories, for decades. When you've experienced true timelessness, real timelessness, it felt almost _cheap_ to suggest anything else lasted forever.

But there were moments after that, too – moments on Earth that stretched on and on, far longer than they should have. Seeing Kal-El rip the lid from her pod, grown and looking so, so much like his father. The moment the yellow sun reached her, and her powers manifested, and everything was too loud, too bright, too much. 

That time at prom she broke her date's foot.

The night Alex's plane almost came down.

Alex kissing her.

Waking up after the Red K, and seeing Alex with a broken arm, and remembering every terrible thing she did.

Alex kissing her.

Floating in the endless blackness of space, with no air in her lungs and no way back. Until Alex pulled her back to Earth.

Alex _kissing her_.

…Alex is a _really good kisser_.

When did her eyes close?

Is she floating?

She should stop.

She needs to stop.

Kara pulls back. "Alex. Wait."

Alex chases her lips for a moment, her breath hot against Kara's lips, and they both gasp.

Kara doesn't move.

"I'm waiting?" Alex says, all coy affection and quirked brows, and, oh, no. Oh, that's _attractive_. Kara is finding her _sister_ attractive. 

She drops back to earth abruptly, half-staggering backwards before she notices Alex's hands on her hips, callouses on expensive…whatever type of expensive fabric her dress is. "Wait. I like you, Alex, I do…" She's scared at how easy it is to say those words.

Alex's face falls. "Oh, no. I. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…we said glacial."

Kara opens her mouth to interrupt, but Alex is on a roll.

"We said glacial, and then I just had to do that, and you told me you weren't sure how you felt and I just had to _force_ it and _why do I keep kissing people without asking_?"

"Alex! Stop! I'm not here to hurt you, or to break your heart, or…wait, you kissed Maggie? I thought you just told her how you felt and it didn't go well!"

Alex shifts, awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck. "Kissing her…felt like the most efficient way of telling her how I felt?"

Kara opens and closes her mouth a few times. "…You _really_ don't do things by halves, do you?" she says, eventually, almost in awe.

Alex laughs, a little, and nods. "No, I guess I don't. How about you, Stargirl? Do you do things by halves, or are you all-in?"

"I feel like we're mixing our gambling metaphors here." She grins and bumps her shoulder against Alex's. "I like you. And…I still want our second date. But…I want to take things slowly until your memories are back."

Alex frowns. "You're really worried that my memories will change things?"

_Yes_. 

"No." 

_Liar_. 

"But I just…I want us to both be on the same page, before we rush into anything. Which means no more kissing."

Alex pauses for a few moments, her hands still settled on Kara's sides. "I mean, there's plenty of things we could do that _don't_ involve kissing."

Kara blushes bright red, scandalised, and makes flustered noises. "I. That. I mean. That's not…didn't you work out you're not straight like, three weeks ago?"

"I'm a quick learner." Alex winks, but steps away.

Kara swallows, hard, and starts focusing on trying to get her heart to calm down.

"Second date. Soon. And…no more kissing, until the interrogations are done. Until I remember who you are. Then I'm telling you now, the very first thing I'll be doing is tracking you down and planting one on you, Girl of Steel."

Right.

Kara isn't so sure about that.

"I guess we'll see," she offers, instead. "Goodnight, Alex. For real, this time."

"Goodnight." Alex gives a dopey smile, opening her door and stepping inside. Kara stays, watching her with x-ray vision as she leans against the door. She laughs, running her fingers through her hair to mess it up. "I just kissed Supergirl."

There's a few moments of pause, then she looks up. "Stop watching me with x-ray vision! That's cheating."

Kara snorts and taps the rhythm of _For The Girl Who Has Everything_ on the doorframe, before superspeeding back down the stairs and out of the building.

The last thing she hears from Alex is her heart rate spiking. " _You were listening in on that_?!"

_ _ _

She lies awake, at home, on her bed.

Staring at her ceiling.

Her boring, boring ceiling.

She'd patrolled a couple of times, then thought she might be able to get an early night's sleep. That wasn't working out so well.

Maybe she should paint it.

The boring ceiling, that is, not the concept of an early night's sleep.

But, no. Painting it wouldn't distract her for long, because she just _kissed her sister_. 

Oh, Rao, what has she done? She should've never asked her on the date. Should've just let her down easy, and told her she wasn't interested, and that would've been that. It would've been simple. But no. She couldn't bear to see Alex sad, so she did _this_ instead. Because _this_ can't possibly blow up in her face!

Kara groans, burying her head in her hands.

Her lips are still tingling. Her tongue runs across her lower lip idly.

It was wrong. She's a terrible person, and a worse sister. She's taking advantage of her confused sister, and making awful choices, all for her own twisted enjoyment.

Wait.

Enjoyment?

It…Alex is the one who likes her, though. Not the other way around. It's not her own enjoyment. It's just to keep Alex happy.

Right?

She rolls over, on to her side. Then her other side. Then again, hard enough to pop her pillow, scattering fluff everywhere.

"Nooooo."

She gives up. She's done. Stick a Kryptonite fork in her. Leave her here in her apartment to waste away, because she just broke a pillow with the force of her rolling over too hard, and that's just a bit more than she can handle right now on top of her confusing, swirling feelings for her sister.

Wait. Not. Not _feelings for_ her sister. Nope. Definitely not. Feelings…surrounding her sister? In her sister's general vicinity? In regards to how she feels about her sister? Her sister. Her super-platonic gay sister. Who she just went on a date with.

Nope.

She's getting out of bed.

If she's going to be awake anyway, she should at least be useful to the city.

She's halfway dressed in her uniform, hopping to put her second boot on at human speed, when she pauses. Her Kara phone is flashing.

Against her better judgment, she unlocks it.

You –  
Knock her dead, sis.  
Sent – 5:28pm Tuesday

Alex –  
Kara. Oh my god. Kara.  
Received – 9:27pm Tuesday

Alex –  
That was the best first date I've ever had.  
Received – 9:29pm Tuesday

Alex –  
Is this what girls talk about when they talk about going on dates and clicking with a guy? I've never done that. I've never done it, but I just. I LIKED it, Kar.  
Received – 9:34pm Tuesday

Alex –  
…And I think she liked it too.  
Received – 9:41pm Tuesday

Kara's heart wrenches out of place and she takes a shuddering breath.

You –  
So I'm guessing it all went well, then? :P  
Sent – 10:45pm Tuesday

She drops the phone on to her bed. Shivers and pulls on her cape, clipping it in place and trying to get herself into her Supergirl mindset. 

Strong. Powerful. Confident.

Dating her own sister.

_Damn it_.

Alex –  
A lady doesn't kiss and tell.  
Received – 10:46pm

Kara doesn't respond to that one. She pulls on her other boot. Slips her Supergirl phone into it. Puts her DEO earpiece in place, and it crackles to life.

"Supergirl," Vasquez's voice says over the line. "Wasn't expecting you to run any more patrols after you signed off for the night, ma'am."

"And I wasn't expecting you to still be at work after I went home." She puts her hands on her hips challengingly, as if that would help her intimidate them.

"Someone has to have the conn, ma'am, and I only just got Director J'onzz to go home. I've got tomorrow off, don't you worry about me."

"I'll always worry about my team, Agent," she smiles a little and lifts her Kara phone to slip it into her other boot.

Alex –  
;)  
Received – 10:50pm

She forces a slow, steady breath, then takes off.

She has a patrol to run. She can work out everything else later.

_ _ _

Kara's yawning when she floats into the DEO the next morning (the excuses to James for being late were going to run out quickly).

Winn spins around in his chair, halting his yoyo tricks, and gives her a once-over. "Late night?" he asks, with a grin on his face.

Kara frowns at him suspiciously.

She doesn't like that tone of voice.

She doesn't like that look on his face.

She doesn't like the fact that Alex isn't in the ops center.

"I did a late patrol," she says, at length.

"Uh huh." He throws out his yoyo.

She narrows her eyes at him.

"Where's Alex?"

Winn shrugs. "I mean, I feel like you'll be more likely to know where she is, considering the dopey grin she walked in with this mor—hey!" Kara grabs the yoyo in midair.

Oh, Rao. All those hints he's been dropping the past few weeks. 

Oh, Rao. He knows. 

When they all remember who Kara is, he'll be mortified. But she doesn't have time to worry about that right now. She's missing work (again – she's going to get fired if James doesn't get his memories back soon), and she feels like something is Wrong, with a capital W, and Alex is missing, and oh, Rao, he _knows_.

"Where is Alex?" she asks, again.

"Interrogation room," Winn says simply, pointing the thumb of his free hand over his shoulder towards one of the soundproofed rooms. "Our glorious U.S. government overseers are finally moving on to the upper levels of the DEO. Must mean they're almost done. Can I have my yoyo back?"

Kara freezes.

Alex.

Interrogation room.

Mind-reading technology.

Her mind flashes back to last night. To the _end_ of last night.

"Oh, _crap_!" Kara yanks her arm back, accidentally snapping the string of the yoyo.

Winn doesn't seem to notice his children's toy being broken. Instead, he's focused on her, a look of extreme concentration and thinking on his face. After a second, realisation reaches his eyes and he gasps. "You—"

Kara grabs him, putting a hand over his mouth and super-speeding him into an empty meeting room.

Only once they're safely there (with the door closed) does she let him go. "—and Alex are dating!! Oh my god, that's—hey, we're upstairs now, when did that—oh, okay, yep, there's the dizziness."

Winn clutches his head and staggers into the table, gripping it to stay upright. Then he giggles. "You and Aleeeex~"

She holds up a hand, pointing a finger at him threateningly. "Shush! We've been on _one date_ , okay? And you cannot tell anyone!"

"My lips are sealed, trust me. And hey, they've already questioned me, so it's not like they'll be reading my mind again." Winn grins. "But you can't just leave me hanging like this. How was it, where'd you go, what happened, did you kiiiiiiss?"

Kara blushes bright red at the last question.

"You kissed!!"

" _Shhhhh_!"

He holds a hand up to his own mouth.

"We went out to a pinball bar. I let her win," that's her story and she's sticking to it, "we talked, and had a good time, and at the end of the night we had _one_ kiss. But it didn't even mean anything, okay! I'm still trying to work all my feelings out, and it's complicated, and I'm, I mean, I'm probably not even interested in her, it's just…nice to hang out with her."

"And kiss her."

"And kiss h— _hey_! No! Do _not_ put words in my mouth."

"Putting things in your mouth is—"

"If you finish that sentence, Winn, I will fly to your house and wrinkle all your mint condition comic books."

Winn gasps and takes a step back. "You wouldn't _dare_."

"Wouldn't I?" She raises an eyebrow challenging.

He clamps a hand over his mouth again.

"I just…don't know how to say no to her, and I can't bear to see her sad. She deserves to be happy, you know?"

At that, Winn's face grows a little more serious and he pulls his hand from his mouth one last time. "Okay. Supergirl, look. I may not have known Alex for that long, but in the time I've known her, I know that she is _crazy_ about you."

Kara winces. 

"If you aren't one hundred and ten percent in this, if you think you might not be interested in her, then you _cannot_ jerk her around. You need to tell her the truth."

The truth. Right. If only it were that simple.

"Because that woman adores you. And if you don't feel the same way, then she deserves to know that. Like you said, she deserves to be happy. And if she heard me saying this, she'd kill me with her pinky finger."

Kara nods, slowly. "I know all that. And please trust me that I am not doing _any_ of this with plans of hurting her. I want her to be happy. And she understands that I need time to work through my feelings and work out if I…like her."

She needs time for the truth to come out. For all this to end.

But she can't say that, so instead she just swallows.

"Just…don't break her heart, yeah?" Winn smiles and pats her on the shoulder as he passes by to leave the room. "Or her sister will hate you forever."

The words cut deeper than Winn could possibly know, and she nods, just once.

She knows he's right.

_ _ _

"We need to get rid of these investigators."

J'onn looks up from his computer at Kara standing before him, hands on her hips.

He raises an eyebrow.

"Good morning to you too, Kara."

"Good morning J'onn, how was your night, _we need to get rid of these investigators_ ," Kara replies, impatiently.

"It was quite good, thank you. Agent Vasquez demanded I go home early, so I took the opportunity to watch some TV. Agent Schott recommended _Breaking Bad_ to me, and it's quite enjoyable." He pauses. "And would this sudden urgency to have the investigators gone have anything to do how _your_ night was?" He looks at her expectantly, and she squirms under his intense gaze.

"I know you can read Alex's mind and I know her thoughts were probably loud this morning, so you don't need to be all coy and annoying about it, y'know."

J'onn laughs lightly and gets to his feet, walking around his desk to place his hands on Supergirl's shoulders. "Kara. They'll be gone soon. They're not going to care about anything they find in Alex's mind, no matter how much of an invasion of privacy we might all think it is. It's unfair, yes, but it's almost over. Alex is my second-in-command. After they interview her, I'll be the only person left for them to speak to."

Kara nods.

"I know it feels terrible. But I promise, they're almost done. Everyone will be able to remember soon, and things can go back to normal."

That makes Kara freeze.

Normal. 

She doesn't think things can ever really go back to normal now.

J'onn squeezes her shoulders gently. "Or better than normal. I promise."

"You promise?"

He nods and leans in, kissing the top of her head gently. "I believe in you, Supergirl. And I know that if you falter or fall, then Agent Danvers will always have your back."

She smiles cautiously and nods. "Thanks, J'onn."

"Of course. Now...I believe the investigators just finished their interview." He taps the side of his head. "I won't keep you any longer."

Oh. Right. Alex. Alex, leaving the interrogation room.

Kara swallows heavily. Turns, and opens the door to face the music.

Alex is standing in amongst the ops center, arms crossed over herself defensively. When she hears J'onn's door open, she turns to face the sound, eyes wide. She doesn't smile brightly the way Kara had expected (feared? Hoped for?) when she sees her. Instead, she just looks scared.

Oh, Rao. What did they say to her?

She rushes over, faster than human speed, and rushes them to Alex's lab before she can complain or say anything. She feels like she's been doing that a lot this morning. Alex, at least, doesn't seem nauseated by the sudden motion – just by everything else.

"Supergirl," she says flatly, nails digging into her own forearms. Kara winces and raises her hands to try and comfort her, only for Alex to flinch away.

"Alex. Hey. I'm here. What happened?"

Alex takes a harsh breath through her nose, stepping back and leaning against one of the glass walls. "I got questioned. I got my thoughts read. What do you _think_ happened?"

Kara flinches.

"God, I was...I was _just_ starting to come to terms with this part of myself, y'know? Starting to accept who I am. And then they just had to pry into my personal life. Pry into my feelings."

Kara opens her mouth to say something, something placating or supportive, but Alex keeps speaking.

"It's like I could feel them judging me. What _right_ do they have to judge me?! I'm an amazing agent. I'm _exceptional_ at the job I choose to do. But they took one look at my thoughts and decided I was...what? Some Super-fangirl? Some cheap date of yours who only reached the rank I am because I'm close to you? Someone biased?"

"Alex," Kara whispers, placing her hand on Alex's arm.

"And they're right! I am biased! If you were in trouble, I don't think there are _any_ lines I wouldn't cross to keep you safe. How messed-up is that? We've known each other for a year, and I know I'd do anything for you." Alex grits her teeth. "And now, they know it, too."

Alex rubs at her eyes, sniffling, and Kara takes the brief silence as an opportunity to wrap her in a hug.

"Why _today_?" she asks, quietly. "Why did they have to do this today? Why not days ago, when I was angry with you? What not a week from now, when it wouldn't be killing my good morning?"

Kara rubs her back slowly, tracing small circles. "You were having a good morning?"

"I went on a date with Supergirl last night, of course I had a good morning."

Kara laughs, a little, and pulls back from the hug slightly. "If nothing else, asking you out on a date has been doing wonders for my ego."

Alex snorts a laugh. "Your ego? Think about how I feel. Half that room was judging me, but I'm pretty sure the guy monitoring my readouts was looking at me like I was a _god_."

She snorts and shoves Alex's shoulder. Alex shoves her right back.

Good. This is good.

"But...yeah. They know. They had a _lot_ of questions. All 'what is your relation to Supergirl'" - Kara tenses a little at that particular question – "and 'do you fraternise with anyone who knows about your work at the DEO'." She rubs the back of her neck awkwardly. "I was hoping for at least a few more days before I had people prying into my private life. Ideally a few weeks, so I can more come to terms with the whole _not straight_ part better."

Well. Might as well tear off all the bandaids at once?

"Speaaaaking of people prying into your personal life..." Kara begins, slowly.

Alex gives her a blank look. "Oh no."

"Winn guessed there was something going on. I'm so sorry."

Alex groans. "Of course. He's gonna be insufferable."

They're still standing close to one another, but it's more of a companionable distance now. Less hugging, more...comfortably nearby.

Far enough for them to have some space, but close enough to see the detail in Alex's eyes.

Close enough that either one of them could lean in at any moment and...

No.

Nope.

Not going there.

Absolutely not.

Not going there about her _sister_.

She's not going there, but...that doesn't mean she needs to move away, right? She can stay where she is. That's okay.

Alex opens her mouth to say something. Takes a breath, readies herself.

And the door to the lab opens.

A soldier stands before them both, glancing between their closeness, and Kara takes an unconscious step backwards to create some space.

"What?" Alex snaps.

"I'm sorry, ma'ams, but, uh. We need to ask a few more questions."

Alex's jaw clenches. "Didn't I answer enough the first time?"

"Not you, ma'am. Supergirl."

...

Well, damn it.

_ _ _

Colonel Clark Tucker looks slightly less formal this time around. His jacket is unbuttoned a little and, when Kara walks into the room, he's rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably. A week and a half of constant interviewing seems to be grating on him as much as it grates on the DEO. 

_Good_ , Kara thinks, with no small amount of petty vindictiveness. He upset Vasquez and Alex. He deserves a neckache.

The lab technician, usually in charge of the PSI, seems to be setting up a camcorder directed towards her chair. Looking for lies the old-fashioned way.

"Supergirl. Thank you for agreeing to see us again." 

She wasn't aware she'd had much of a choice.

"I'm sorry it took us so long to get back to your interview. After our initial interview, it became apparent that it would be better to start with members of the DEO who aren't immune to the effects of the device." He smiles, a little tightly.

"Yeah, well," She crosses her arms over her chest as she settles in her chair. "At least those other interviews are done now, right?"

"It's likely, yes." Tucker flicks through his papers, humming softly. "Ah. There we go. That's where we were up to. Wow, we really didn't get far into it, did we?"

She doesn't let his levity lighten her mood this time. The first time, she'd been tricked by it. She'd relaxed. That was what he wanted, with her at least. But with others, she knows he'd tried to get under their skin. She knows it's an interrogation technique – she's seen Alex and J'onn use it enough times. Unsettle them enough that they fall off-balance and give up things that might otherwise stay hidden.

"So. Can you tell us about your clearance level in the DEO, please?"

"Clearance Level Starikov," she answers, shortly.

"I see. And the director of the DEO saw fit to give a clearance level only one below his own to an alien visitor who isn't even an official DEO employee? Someone whose true identity is unknown?"

And there it is. She grins, slowly. "You've been peering into people's minds for days now. You already know that, under normal working conditions, plenty of people in the DEO know my identity – because you can see them agreeing with J'onn to have their memories blocked. Under normal working conditions, my clearance level makes perfect sense."

There's a few moments of awkward, anxious pause. Then Colonel Tucker smiles, tersely. "Right. Of course. But that doesn't change the fact that as of right now, we don't know who you are or why you have the clearance level you have."

"Starikov-level personnel are the only people with access to my mother's AI. That's the only thing I use my clearance for. Check the logs, if you'd like."

Clark taps a pen on the desk impatiently. "Yes, but how are we to know that the logs haven't been tampered with? We know J'onn is willing to tamper with his employees' _minds_. A few entry logs are no large feat for him, or for you, to adjust."

"Are you accusing Director J'onnz of tampering with government property?" She asks, bluntly.

"Me? No, no, of course not," he smiles, all white teeth and false pretences. "I'm just trying to explain that the evidence you're relying on to show your own suitability for your position in the DEO has already been shown to be...inconsistent."

She watches him for a moment. Allows her senses to pick up every detail of his form. His breathing is calm, but his heart rate is slightly elevated. His eyes are flicking over every part of her face, but especially her forehead. Damn it, crinkle.

"If you can't trust the logs, then trust my results against Myriad. Or ask J'onn to lower my clearance level."

He nods, writing things down.

"Right. Well. In that case, are you ready for the quick-fire round?" He grins at her, and she kind of wonders what it would be like to punch him. Gently. Very gently, obviously. "Easier questions, Supergirl, I promise. I suppose it's the downside of you not being able to use the PSI, we can't skip the boring parts."

She grits her teeth, before nodding her assent.

"How long have you worked at the DEO?"

"One year, give or take."

"How long have you known about the existence of the DEO?"

"Since they shot me with a kryptonite dart, a year ago, give or take."

"Have you ever willingly aided or abetted enemies of the state?"

"No."

"Have you ever willingly aided or abetted private corporations?"

Kara pauses. "Does saving Lena Luthor's life count?"

"Not as such."

"Then no."

"Have you ever willingly aided or abetted extra-terrestrials?"

"Yes."

The colonel stops. Raises an eyebrow.

"I assist J'onn J'onnz, along with any other nonhuman citizens who might be in trouble." She pauses and adjusts her non-existent glasses. "A few weeks ago I helped to take down an alien fight club, freeing the aliens who had been forced to fight there." Then she grins. "And if you'd said 'aliens' rather than 'extra-terrestrials' I'd have had to play the card where you're all alien to me."

He smiles a little more genuinely at that, and the technician behind the camera laughs before wincing, apologetic.

Kara smirks and leans back in her chair, and waits for the rapid-fire questions to resume.

"How long have you known Agent Susan Vasquez?"

"One year."

"How long have you known Director J'onn J'onnz?"

"One year, though I met him as Hank Henshaw."

"How long have you known Agent Winn Schott?"

"Three years."

"How long have you known Agent Alex Danvers?"

Kara stops. Swallows, hard. Her brow crinkles. "One year. Give or take."

Colonel Tucker is staring at her. He places the pen down, clearing his throat. "Supergirl. What is your relationship to Agent Danvers?"

She feels like she's walked into a trap. Like she should've seen this coming. She should've. "We're friends," she says, though her voice shakes.

"You're certainly very close, it's true. You care a lot for her."

Stupid. _Stupid._ She should've prepared better for this.

"We're friends," she says, again, harsher.

"That's not exactly what we got from our interview with her."

"Well, then your interview with her was wrong, because Alex and I are _friends_." She's defensive, spiralling for so many reasons. Spiralling from the idea of them finding out the truth, spiralling from their accusations of them being _more than friends_. 

They're right, and she can't stand it, can't stand tricking Alex like this.

_Her sister will hate you forever_.

"We're not...whatever you're implying. I wouldn't do that. I'm not...she and I aren't..."

"Hm. Maybe I should question her again, to get a little more clarification. You seem a little confused about it all."

She laughs, harshly. "What's the point? She's given up everything she knows, she didn't have a choice."

Colonel Tucker smirks, leaning forwards. "And yet I think you know more, and I'm asking you to tell me what that is. Need I remind you of the severity of the situation you are in right now?"

"Yes," she says, gritting her teeth and going on the offense. "Please, do remind me. Am I being questioned about my personal life, or about your claims that classified alien technology is in the hands of criminals?" She gets to her feet, the chair scraping on the floor beneath her. "Are you here to find a traitor, or to terrorise my friends?"

"Supergirl, please sit down," the colonel says, a slight nervous edge to his voice. His smug smirk from before has faded away, replaced by the slightest hint of fear.

"Why are you really here, Colonel? To find out who I really am? To find out who I love?" her voice is raising in pitch, now. "For what purpose? Do you want to control me, or to hurt me? Because I'm not going to let you do either."

"That's enough!" Clark's voice raises. His fist slams on the table, snapping the pen in his grasp and covering his palm in dark blue ink. "Supergirl, thank you for answering our questions. We'll resume this at another time."

She takes a step back, breathing heavily. Oh, Rao.

"Corporal? Escort Supergirl out of the room, then find Agent Danvers again. I have a few more questions for her."

Oh, Rao.

What did she just do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _So. That latest episode of Supergirl._
> 
> _That sure existed, right?_
> 
> _I'm. I don't know...I don't really have the words to explain how shocked I am?_
> 
> _I knew, of course, that fic authors sometimes write things which end up lining up with what happens in a show or a book series. I knew that happened - that sometimes they'd predict what was coming, or just have a good idea which lines up with the universe._
> 
> _I just...never expected it to happen to me? I'm like...I'm a Kalex writer. I write obscure pseudo-incest ships and odd concepts and setups and this is...the latest episode matches the synopsis of my series_ exactly. _It's uncanny. It's unreal. I've spent the last twelve hours convinced I'm having a hallucination or that this is all an elaborate prank being played on me by the Kalex community. I never thought that 2019 would get started with the show featuring a plotline where Alex has her memory of Supergirl's secret identity wiped due to investigations by a military Colonel who has access to special technology that can detect the truth. Yet here we are. I...thank you to everyone who's messaged me over the past twelve hours to scream in excitement to me? Thank you for the high fives and the support and the jokes about me being psychic? Thank you to my fiancée for beta-reading and constantly supporting and loving me? And I guess...thank you to the writers of Supergirl for making my fic canon????_


	10. Behind Bars

Kara, as she has been known to do, is sulking. When Kara sulks, she eats her feelings. Everyone at CatCo knows that. If Sunny Danvers is having a bad day, she eats her weight in donuts. It’s just the way it’s always been. Certainly more healthy than Alex's habit of her bad days being responded to with alcohol-induced oblivion, especially with Kara's alien metabolism.

What makes this particular sulk unusual is not the fact that she’s eating her weight in baked goods. It’s the fact that she’s doing it dressed as Supergirl, while sitting in Cat’s (James’s, she mentally corrects herself) office.

There goes her reputation as a cool and mysterious superhero.

James, eventually, opens the door to his office. He blinks at her. Once. Twice. Then closes the door behind him and shuts the blinds, blocking the rest of CatCo from seeing this sorry sight.

“Supergirl,” he greets, cautiously.

She grumbles something that sounds vaguely like “Hey James” in his general direction.

“So, uh. What brings you to my office? When it’s not an emergency situation that needs the Super Friends?”

“It _is_ an emergency situation!” Kara explodes, throwing a donut down into its box in disgust. “It’s a _huge_ emergency situation and I can’t talk to anybody about it because nobody understands except J’onn, and he’s all weird and cryptic and unhelpful!”

James blinks a few more times at the outburst. “...Okay.”

Before she can ask what he means by that, he walks over to his desk and picks up his phone. Waits a moment. “Hey, Eve? Can you hold all my calls and meetings for a bit? I’ve got a—yeah. Good, okay. You saw? Okay, great, thanks Eve."

He puts the phone down again and moves to sit on the couch opposite Kara, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Okay. I’m here, and you can talk to me.”

She can’t talk to him. That’s the entire problem. Kara grumbles and picks up another donut, starting to chew on it and promising herself she’ll eat this one slowly. It also gives her an excuse to not say anything for a little while.

“Unless...you can’t talk to me about it.”

Kara nods.

“Is it classified?”

She wrinkles her nose.

“Is it private?”

She wiggles her hand at him.

“Is it to do with your secret identity?”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“Is it to do with the investigation?”

She nods again.

“Did you tell them who you are by accident?”

“Nuh uh!”

“...Did they pick up on something you said in your interrogation which ended up worsening the situation for one of your friends, causing the investigators to pull them in for another round of questioning?”

“ _Oh, come on_ , how could you _possibly_ have guessed that?!” she yells, mouth full of doughy goodness and muffling her words.

“I know you better than you think even with your identity being secret again, Supergirl.” James smiles at her and shrugs.

She gives him an unconvinced look.

“...Also, Winn texted me a picture of Alex looking really annoyed about something with a military escort, and told me she got called in for another round of questioning after the interrogators spoke to you.”

Dang it. “Winn, you traitor.”

“In his defence, he only did it after I asked him why Supergirl was moping in my office.”

Kara grumbles, curling her cape over herself like a protective blanket (which, she supposes, it is). “M’not moping.”

James moves to sit next to her. “You’re in my office eating my body weight in donuts. You’re kinda moping.”

She grumbles again, sliding down the couch and crossing her arms over her chest like a stubborn child. “I messed up. I said something, and it made the interrogators suspicious of Alex, and she’d already had such a rough first interview, and then she got called in again. And it’s all my fault.”

She picks up another donut and starts chewing it sadly. With her posture, if she was human she’d be risking indigestion. Thank you, yellow sun of Earth.

“Hey. Hey.” James’s voice is soothing and supportive. Kind of like Alex’s. She can see why she wanted to date him.

Wait. That came out wrong.

She means she could see why she might want to go on a date with Alex, because she’s similar to James.

Wait. That’s not right either.

She might have _been okay_ with going on a date with Alex.

Right. That's what she meant.

James is looking at her expectantly, and she’s pretty sure she just totally zoned out his entire motivational speech. She stops chewing on her donut and stares at him, wide-eyed.

“...Can you say all that again? I totally zoned out your entire motivational speech.”

He snorts, then starts laughing, leaning back against the sofa. “Sure, okay,” he says, once his laughter’s more under control. “What I said was...Alex is the most protective agent there is around you. You and she have always been thick as thieves, and she will _always_ have your back. If the investigators called her in for another interrogation, she's going to be annoyed at _them_ , not at you. I think I said it better the first time, though."

Kara scowls. That's not why she's upset. She _wants_ Alex to be annoyed with her. She deserves it. "It's not about her being annoyed at me. It's about...hurting her." She makes a vague gesticulation with her hands to emphasise her point. "I made things worse for her, and sure, she'll be _great_ about it and she'll tell me she could never blame me for it. But I'm the one to blame. Just because she doesn't blame me doesn't mean I won't."

James thinks about his response for a few moments this time, mulling his words over more carefully. "Supergirl...do you want to know what all your friends love about you?"

"My charming small-town belief in Truth, Justice, and the Alien Immigrant's Way?" she responds, dryly.

That makes him pause all over again. "Well...yeah, okay that's a big part of it," he concedes. "But it's also the way you wear your heart on your sleeve." 

Kara shifts slightly, paying attention to his words and starting on the second-to-last donut.

"Superman? I was friends with him for years, and yet...I never knew a lot of what he was feeling." James shrugs. "I knew he cared about me, and Lois, but so much of him is mystery. He's this icon; a figure out of touch from the rest of us a lot of the time. But you?" He looks at her fondly and picks up her last donut, biting into it and ignoring the affronted noise she makes. "You were the one who was born and raised on an alien world, not him. Yet you're the one who wears her affections so freely. I know you love Alex," Kara tenses up at his choice of words, "and me, and Winn, and Cat, and J'onn. I know you hate the way you lost your world, and Max Lord, and intolerance. I know everything about you is more genuine than the big guy ever shows the wider world."

She stares at him. "So...you're saying that the reason I ended up making them suspicious of Alex is because I wear my heart on my wrist?"

"Sleeve," James corrects. "You wear your heart on your sleeve. And...yeah. You love too deeply and care too much to ever truly lie about it. You hide your secret identity when you need to, to protect those you care about, and...you _control_ your joy and your enthusiasm and your rage. But you never act like you don't _feel_ them. You couldn't. And that's why we care about you so much.."

Kara sits up in her chair and rubs her sugary fingers on her skirt. "I'm...still not sure I'm getting what you're saying. Sorry James, this motivational speech of yours is a solid four out of ten so far."

"I'm saying that...if Alex is anything like me, then she'd be happy you were true to yourself. If you hid everything about yourself, if you disguised it all and got through the interview totally unfazed...you wouldn't be _you_. You wouldn't be the Supergirl that Alex loves so much."

Loves so much.

Kara swallows, hard.

Because, in the end, that's what it still comes down to.

It's not that she said the wrong thing in the interview.

It's not that she got Alex interrogated.

It's that Alex is in love with her.

And Kara, still, doesn't know how to deal with that. Doesn't know what to do or what to feel. So all she's left with is fear and nausea and sheer, blind panic.

She needs to go home, and curl up in her bed, and hide from the world. Her usual coping techniques have left her woefully unprepared for this situation. Not even her couch with a tub or three of ice cream sounds appealing right now - not with how many memories of Alex that couch has. No. Bed sounds much better. Memories of Alex are way more limited there.

_It's not like Alex and Supergirl have arranged a third date or anything_ , a masochistic and self-loathing part of her brain unhelpfully adds. She jumps to her feet, fingers fidgeting with her cape to stop herself from whacking the side of her own head.

"Right. Uh. Thanks, James. I get what you're saying now." She doesn't. Not really. "That helped a bunch. I know what I need to do now, so I should...get out of your hair." His metaphorical hair.

James blinks, surprised. "Really? So you're going to go talk to her to make sure she's not annoyed with you?"

"Um, yeah, of course," she responds absently. "I'm just gonna...I should really just...go. Thank you, really, that was...exactly what I needed. Seriously. Um. Okay. Bye."

She swoops out of his office via the balcony before he can say another word, leaving him staring after her in confusion. After a few seconds, he pulls out his phone and dials a number. "Hey, uh, Winn? I think I messed up."

_ _ _

Kara is curled up in a ball under her blankets.

It's really the only option at this point.

Because here, with music that's totally unlike her or Alex's usual style blaring out of her phone speakers to try and drown out her thoughts, she can pretend everything's okay and pretend she isn't destroying her and Alex's whole relationship with her lies and deception and her inability to say no.

It's an escape.

Right up until there's a knock at her door.

She ignores it. Whoever it is, they'll go away soon enough, and it can't be a Supergirl-related emergency unless it's J'onn. And he's more the type to call, not visit her apartment.

Another knock.

Nooo.

Kara continues ignoring it. They'll go away. She just needs to act like she isn't here, and burrow further into her warm cocoon of safety and no-thinking and bad music that she hates and Alex would both find awful.

She hears a key in the door.

No.

No. Absolutely not.

No no no no no.

She opens her eyes and uses x-ray vision to look through her walls and her door, and, sure enough, Alex is there, opening the door, bottle of bourbon in her free hand.

No. She can't deal with Alex right now. She can't. She doesn't have the emotional or mental energy to lie to her, or to split herself into two people. She's sick of it. She's meant to be one person to Alex. She's meant to be _Kara_.

But the door unlocks, and Alex steps through.

"Kara?" Alex calls, and Kara can hear the exhaustion in her voice. "You here?"

Damn it.

She picks up her cocoon of blankets, shoves her glasses on to her face, and waddles out into the living room.

"Alex, hey," she says, and she doesn't even need to pretend her voice is croaky.

Alex freezes and looks her up and down. "Oh man. It looks like we've _both_ had the day from hell."

Kara grumbles.

"I'm sorry for coming over unexpectedly, I just...got out of an interview, and it took forever, and all I wanted when I got out was to curl up and have an impromptu sister night with you." She looks at Kara with concern and unconcealed affection. "But it looks like your day's been even worse than mine. If you'd like to be alone, that's okay too."

Yes. She really, really would rather be alone. Especially alone from Alex right now.

"No," she finds herself saying, instead. Damn it. She can't bear to see Alex sad. "A sister night sounds...great, honestly."

Alex smiles and nods. "Okay." She steps forwards and hands Kara the bottle of bourbon. "I'll get out a couple tubs of ice cream and we can sit and reconcile over our awful days, okay?"

Kara finds herself nodding, taking the bourbon into her blankets and shuffling to the kitchen with Alex to grab a couple of rocks glasses, placing them down on the table and flopping across the entire length of the couch. The couch where she and Alex always hang out. The couch where they're going to be hanging out right now.

Alex makes her way over a few seconds later with a pair of ice cream tubs and a pair of spoons. She bats at Kara's feet with one of the spoons. "Scoot. I need to sit down too, goober."

Kara grumbles but scoots her knees up, leaving Alex space to sit next to her.

Alex pours them both a shot and slides one of them, along with a tub of cookie dough ice cream, towards Kara.

She sits up more, lifting the glass and downing the whiskey in one go. She feels the warmth of it in her throat, and for a moment she understands why Alex does this.

Alex, for her part, lets her eyebrows climb into her hairline. "Damn, Kar. Okay, I think you should go first, because for as bad as my day went, it did not go _that_ badly."

Oh no.

Alex wants her to talk.

To talk about her bad day. Her day which is only bad for Supergirl-related reasons.

Oh, no.

"No, no. I, um. I really don't wanna talk about it just yet, if that's okay?" She does her best to smile, but it probably looks more like a grimace. "You should go first. You've had a more interesting couple of days, anyway."

Alex looks at her, concerned. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah! Yeah. Go ahead." She opens her tub of ice cream and starts on it, trying to look invested in the cookie dough.

"Okay. Um..well, you know my date with Supergirl went great," Alex begins.

Kara stops chewing. There goes what little appetite she had.

"It was...perfect. I thought it would be awkward, but we just...talked, and chatted, and had fun. I felt comfortable with her in a way I never expected, y'know?" She scratches the side of her head. "I mean, I knew I was comfortable with her. But this is all just...it's so new for me. I've never...been on a date with a woman before. But it was...there was so much more magic there than I've ever felt with any man."

Kara's smile feels a little less forced this time. Despite the guilt and the shame churning in her gut, Alex sounds _happy_. Happy to have been on a date with a woman. The fact that that woman was Supergirl is...it isn't important right now. Happiness for her sister, she can do. "That sounds great. I'm so happy for you, Alex. Seriously."

Alex blushes a little and brushes her hair behind her ear. "Right. So...that was amazing. But then, of course, when I get into work this morning, I finally get called in for the interrogation that they haven't given me in _weeks_."

Kara winces.

"I know, right?" Alex responds to her expression. "Of all the days, it just had to be today. And they were just...they were so intrusive. About everything. But most of all, about my relationship to Supergirl. I felt...I felt like they were judging me. Judging me for daring to be happy with...with a woman, instead of a man."

Kara nods and pours herself another shot of Alex's whiskey. Downs it. It doesn't do anything to make her drunk, but the burn in her throat distracts her from Alex's words.

"Uh..." Alex subtly slides the bottle away from Kara, giving her an alarmed look. "So, then, after everything, they called Supergirl in. And...I don't know what she said to them. But afterwards, they just....dragged me right back in to interrogate me even more. For hours. The weird part was that...this time, they didn't even really seem to be trying to gain any useful information. The questions were intrusive, and upsetting, but they just...it's like they just wanted to get under my skin. Like they were trying to punish me, not trying to really learn anything."

Oh, Rao.

Kara swallows heavily. "Well...maybe Supergirl ended up saying how much you mean to her?" It's not a lie. Not technically. She _did_ end up saying that, just...in a platonic way. Right? "Maybe they called you back in to, um...to get to her, or something."

Alex nods in agreement and sips her own glass of whiskey. "I wouldn't put it past them. You, um...you think Supergirl might have mentioned her feelings for me? That...you really think she had a good time?"

Kara's teeth clench, almost painfully. "I think she'd be crazy not to be crazy about you, Alex," she says, as warmly as she can manage.

Alex smiles and gently touches Kara's arm, and that makes her breath catch. Shocks run up and down her side, and she jerks away from the feeling. Alex blinks in surprise at the sudden movement, glancing between her hand and the sudden gap between them.

"Uh, sorry. I'm just. I think I might be getting a little ill, y'know? I don't wanna get you sick."

"Oh, you big baby," Alex rolls her eyes and gets to her feet, crouching in front of her. "It's that amazing immune system of yours. You're so used to never getting sick, the moment you feel the slightest sniffle you start acting like a four-year-old."

Her hand reaches out towards Kara's forehead and she feels cool fingers against it, and oh, Rao, Alex is close to her now.

"Hm. You feel a little warm, but you've always run warmer than me."

"A-Alex. I just said I'll get you sick..."

Alex smiles at her, and, oh, has her smile always looked that nice and soft? Kara's fingers twitch and her lips tingle.

"I'll be fine. I'm a doctor, and you're my little sister," Alex says.

The words crash Kara back down to Earth.

She feels truly, genuinely sick now. Sick at herself.

"So. What had your day going so badly that you came home and cocooned yourself?"

Right. A question. Okay. She can focus on the question. The question means she isn't focusing on how close her sister is to her, or how nice her sister's lips look, or how her fingers feel splayed over her forehead and stroking through her hair.

"Um. I mean, it was just kind of...everything, y'know? I, um, accidentally got someone in trouble, and I just..."

She can't do this.

She can't lie to Alex. Not any more.

"I'm sorry, I'm just...I just have to...can we do this another time? I just...I can't do this right now." She moves to get to her feet, almost knocking Alex aside before speed-walking (as best as she can while wrapped in blankets) to her room. Practically slamming the door behind her. She leans against the door frame, and Rao, she can't breathe, she's hyperventilating. She drops the blankets to the ground and presses her hand against her pajama shirt, feeling her heart rate and screwing her eyes shut.

"...Kara? I...have I done something to upset you?"

No. No. No no no, this isn't Alex's fault, it's hers, it's all hers, she's the one who's breaking everything, she's the one who's acting in ways she shouldn't towards her sister, 

"Kara?"

She's the one who's meant to be protecting Alex right now. Not taking advantage of her.

"Kara, please..."

"Please just go, Alex," she finds her voice, swallowing hard. "I'm. It's not you, I promise. I'm just...I can't talk about it right now."

That, at least, is true.

There's silence from the other side of the door for about twenty seconds, and if not for the sound of Alex's heartbeat, Kara might even think she was alone.

"Is it...is it the thing about me being...interested in women?"

"No!" Kara responds, instantly. No matter how she's feeling, she can't let Alex ever, ever think that. "I'm so proud of you, Alex. I promise....I _promise_ it's not your fault. It's me. I've messed up, and I just...need to be alone for a while."

Kara feels a weight gently rest against the other side of the door, and when Alex next speaks, her voice is closer than before.

"...I'm not going to go anywhere, okay? You don't need to talk to me, but...I'm gonna sit on the couch, and...whenever you're ready to talk, I'll be here. You can stay in there as long as you want to, though. I'm not going to pick your lock this time. I promise."

Kara slumps to the ground.

She doesn't deserve Alex.

She doesn't deserve someone who cares for her so much, when all she does is take, and take, and _take_.

She took her childhood.

She took her father.

She took her freedom and her fate and her career.

And now? Now, she's taken her coming-out. Taken the woman she was actually interested in, and placed Supergirl and confusing emotions in front of her instead.

If she hadn't done this, then...would Alex and Maggie have reconciled? Would the two of them be together? Would they have a perfect future of white picket fences?

How much has Kara stolen from Alex? How much will she keep taking?

...She can't stay here.

She climbs to her feet, checking her wardrobe, flicking through her clothes with super-speed.

She needs to get out. She needs...

She stops. There's a dress in her hands. The dress she wore as Supergirl, to meet Alex.

...

She needs a drink.

_ _ _

When she walks into the alien bar wearing a sleek blue dress, she's not Kara Danvers.

But despite wearing her hair down, and despite the lack of glasses, she's not really Supergirl, either.

And, as she slumps against the bar and orders two Aldabaran rums, she certainly doesn't feel like either of them.

She feels like a monster.

A monster who just takes things away from the woman who is supposed to be her sister.

She downs the first drink as soon as it arrives, feeling the burn hit her throat the way no human drink can. The buzz follows pretty quickly afterwards, and she accompanies it with the second shot and ordering two more. She's glad M'gann isn't the one behind the bar tonight.

She's halfway through sipping her third by the time it really starts hitting her. She can feel colours behind her eyes that she doesn't have human words for, and oh, yeah, she can see why Alex likes this. And alien alcohol does it so much faster than human drinks seem to for humans, too!

She's barely even been thinking about Alex since she got here. It's nice, honestly. It's refreshing.

She doesn't have to think about her problems, or her troubles, or anything else.

She doesn't have to think about Alex and her cute face and her kissable lips and the way she looks at her when it's just the two of them.

She downs the rest of her third drink.

She can hear someone in the corner whispering about her, and she shoots them a dirty glare before she refocuses on her fourth drink.

She's like that, trying to stay upright in her seat and pursuing alcoholic oblivion, when she hears a voice next to her.

A voice she really, really didn't want to hear.

"Supergirl," Detective Maggie Sawyer says evenly, looking her up and down. "Nice dress."

"Right. Because my night wasn't bad enough already," she murmurs, and wow, the alcohol must _really_ be impacting her verbal filter for her to say that out loud. "Detective," she amends, raising her glass in a cheers motion.

"So, what brings you out here on this fine Thursday night?"

"I could ask you the same question."

Maggie grins, showing her dimples. "Yeah, you could. But you haven't yet." Damn it. "So, you first."

"I wanted a drink," she answers. Short. To the point.

"Uh huh." Maggie crosses her arms, and doesn't look particularly convinced.

"Look. Do you _want_ something, Detective?" She turns to face her. "Because I am really, really not in the mood to be talking to you or anyone else right now, okay?"

The two of them stare off for a few moments, then Maggie laughs. "Holy crap, she's really got you tied up in knots, doesn't she?"

...And on a scale of things she wanted to hear someone say, that ranks at a solid near-the-bottom of the list. Kara thinks that Maggie Sawyer might exist solely to make her life more difficult. "Back off. Now."

"Look, Supergirl, I'm not here to be your enemy, okay? Believe it or not, I've got a little experience with what you're feeling right now, so...I'd be happy to offer you advice, if you wanted it. Later."

Kara snarls. "You do not have a clue what I'm feeling, okay? You don't know the first thing about who I am or what Alex means to me. So _leave it alone_."

She reaches out for her last shot glass...and Maggie's hand darts out to press against her wrist, stopping her.

"I really, really wouldn't drink that if I were you," Maggie warns, voice quiet and serious.

Kara's half-tempted to heat vision her. "And why _exactly_ is that?"

She leans in close, far too far into Kara's personal space, and whispers in her ear. "Because the Keltorian we were hunting down in the raid last week just walked through the door, and I'd really like you sober when I try to arrest him."

Kara freezes up, trying to focus her hearing behind her to pick up the sounds of the aliens filling the building. At least a dozen species, some more dangerous than others. And there, at the other end of the bar, the Keltorian.

"I'm here to work, Supergirl. And I could really use your help on this one if he's got friends or _pets_ nearby."

Kara nods, stiffly, and tries to swallow down the taste of the alcohol.

"Just follow my lead."

"Okay." She nods again. "So, what's the play?"

Maggie looks thoughtful. "Well, right now, we're staking things out to see if he's meeting with anyone here or just here to drink. So..." a smirk crosses her lips. "Buy me a drink, Maid of Might. You just scored yourself a date."

That decides it.

Maggie Sawyer _definitely_ exists solely to make Kara's life more difficult.


	11. Even to Herself

"So, how _is_ Alex?"

They'd, at Maggie's insistence, moved into one of the booths with a view towards the side of the bar where the Keltorian is nursing a drink. Despite Kara reminding her (several times) that she has X-Ray vision, so she can see him everywhere in the whole building.

"She's good," Kara responds, shortly, taking a sip of her human-strength beer. She still feels drunk, the three Aldabaran rums leaving her tongue feeling heavy and her limbs placid. But she's nowhere near the annihilation she'd been desiring, and now everything feels raw and uncontrollable. Short answers let her take control of the narrative, despite the lack of control everywhere else. If she doesn't tell Maggie anything, then it's almost like it isn't happening.

"Right. The two of you seemed pretty close the last time I saw you." Maggie tilts her head, taking a slow sip from her own (alcohol-free) beer.

"We've always been close."

"Sure. But not _this_ close." 

Kara winces, and that's all it takes for Maggie's suspicions to be confirmed.

"Gotta say, I wasn't expecting her to move on this quickly. I'm not sure whether I'm impressed or offended at how fast she--"

"Oh, shut the hell up, Maggie."

Maggie freezes.

"You broke her heart, you know that?" Kara puts her beer bottle down with a little too much force. "You called her out, you got her to realise her feelings. You got her to _come out to her sister_. And then you threw her aside."

It feels good, to vent at someone like this. To unleash her anger and frustration and her protectiveness of Alex towards someone who hurt her.

"Why? Because you were scared? Because you didn't want things to change? Because you never cared about her as much as she cared about you? Because you know that nothing you do will ever make you deserve her?"

Kara becomes slowly, slowly aware that she might not entirely be speaking about Maggie any more. Her jaw snaps shut and she lifts her beer bottle to her lips before she says anything more embarrassing.

"I'm....getting the feeling that wasn't all entirely directed at me there." Maggie's eyes flick over to the bar. "But...yeah. You're right. I broke her heart. Because I was scared. Scared of...her intensity. How could someone like _me_ match that sort of all-in devotion, you know? How could I ever deserve her?"

"You can't." 

Maggie laughs a little, rocking her beer bottle back and forth. "Yeah, maybe you're being fair to me there, Girl of Steel. How about you? You break her heart for the same reason?"

"I haven't broken her heart."

"Yet," Maggie says. "I know there's an unspoken _yet_ there, otherwise there's no way you'd be out here drowning your sorrows over her."

Kara grits her teeth. "Who said I was drowning my sorrows over her?"

"I'm a detective, Supergirl. I--"

She groans loudly. "You detect, yeah, I know, Alex told me you say that lame line all the time."

"That lame line gets me laid about forty percent of the time," Maggie counters, lifting her beer and pointing one finger at Kara before taking a sip. "Don't change the subject."

She should tell Maggie to go to hell. Should storm out, or deny everything.

But the Keltorian leans towards the bar to order another drink, and the alcohol is still loosening Kara's tongue.

"I don't know what to do."

Maggie tilts her head, but, mercifully, she actually stays silent. For a change.

"We've, um. We've gone on...a date. And it was...nice. It was nice. But things are just so complicated, and she doesn't..." Kara stops. Rubs her head; groans. "I don't want to hurt her, but everything's changing between us, in ways I...in ways that scare me. And in ways she has no idea about."

"Gonna have to run that last part by me again." Maggie grins, amused, dimples on full display. "If she's dating you, I'm pretty sure she knows how things are changing."

"She doesn't know who I am," Kara blurts out.

Maggie's eyebrows raise and her smile falls away, but she doesn't add anything else.

"...The DEO's being investigated." Kara says. "And so everyone who knows my identity has had it...blocked. She doesn't remember who I am. So she has no idea how...how _hard_ this all is. How much about us she's changing."

Maggie looks like she's about to say something, but the Keltorian gets up from the bar as she opens her mouth. The two of them watch, in silence, as he meanders towards the restrooms.

"...Now's when your X-Ray vision comes in handy," she says, after a few moments.

"What? No. No way, I am _not_ spying on him while he's in the restroom. No way. It's not happening."

"Well, it's either that, or we've gotta find an excuse to get into the men's room to make sure he's not meeting anyone or climbing out the back window."

"How, exactly, would the two of us find an excuse to just...waltz into the men's restroom?"

Maggie smirks and waggles her eyebrows, downing the rest of her beer and starting to get to her feet. "We just need to find a reason for two attractive women to stumble into the wrong room." She holds a hand out towards Kara. "Care to go somewhere more private?"

Oh.

Kara's cheeks flush bright red.

No.

No way on this planet or any other.

She tries to speak, but what comes out is more of a frantic squeaking noise. She finishes her beer to clear her throat. 

"Fine. I'll x-ray vision it."

"Hurt a lady's feelings, Supergirl," Maggie says, dryly.

Kara slides around the booth before she can add anything else, squinting slightly to refocus her vision (and trying to keep it firmly above the waist). "He's not speaking to anyone, or trying to climb out the window."

Maggie takes her seat again, next to Kara's newly-shifted position.

"So, while you're focusing on _not_ focusing on a few things, this feels like the right time to ask." Oh, no. "Danvers knows your secret identity most of the time?"

"Yeah. Don't tell anyone or kidnap her over it." Kara keeps her responses short and acerbic, and raises her eyes as far as she can while keeping the Keltorian's face in view.

"Scout's Honor," Maggie answers. "But...whoever you are, you're not someone who Alex would ordinarily approach any of this about. And you're worried about how things are changing, and how she's going to react when she finds out the ways they're changing."

Kara doesn't like this line of questioning, at all. She half-shrugs as her only answer. The Keltorian turns around, walking across the restroom to wash his hands.

"And whoever you are to Alex, the way things are changing is _scary_ for you."

"Stop."

The Keltorian walks out, but Maggie barely seems to notice. She's focusing on Kara's face, staring at it.

"The two of you are close, but you've never considered a relationship with her before. And this thing with Alex is recent enough that I'm guessing it only started after her memories got blocked, which means _she_ didn't consider it, either."

" _Stop._ "

Maggie's eyes widen. Her jaw drops. "Holy crap. You're the _sister_."

Kara flinches.

The beer bottle in her hands shatters. 

Her x-ray vision flickers, and for a moment she sees through walls and flesh and bone before she snaps her perceptions back into the moment. She wishes she hadn't. The moment _sucks_.

She crosses her arms around herself protectively, ignoring the fact that the beer on her fingers is probably going to stain her expensive dress.

"Please stop," she whispers brokenly.

Maggie's staring at her like she's had the epiphany of her lifetime, and she isn't saying anything, and damn it, why isn't she saying anything?

The Keltorian wanders past their booth to his place at the bar. Kara doesn't meet his eyes, while Maggie seems to be too busy looking at Kara to pay any attention to him.

Kara's internal narrative would normally joke and say she only has eyes for her, but that sort of phrasing feels awkward, given the situation. Given what Maggie just worked out.

"You're _Kara Danvers_ ," Maggie says, voice an accusatory hiss.

"Can we please just drop the subject? I told you you didn't understand, and now you know why. Just....please?"

"No chance."

"Why? Gonna sell my story to the media?"

Maggie, in her defence, looks affronted at the suggestion. "Hell no, Supergirl. I told you, when I first got here, that I knew a little about what you were going through. And, sure, maybe I don't know the exact details; maybe a few things are weirder and wilder than anything I'd ever go through..."

Weird and wild. Gee, thanks.

"But I'm still here to offer you advice. If you want it."

Kara crushes a glass shard to powder between her fingertips. "Advice for what? How to hurt Alex? Because trust me, I'm already taking a masterclass on that one - she just doesn't know it yet."

It's a low blow, but it feels good, just for a moment.

But Maggie - unflappable, chilled-out Detective Maggie Sawyer - just shrugs. "Advice about what not to do when your feelings for Alex Danvers scare you."

Feelings for Alex Danvers.

Maggie has _feelings_ for Alex, and Kara still had to comfort her, crying and breaking down that Maggie didn't like her like that?

Kara reaches over, grabbing the collar of Maggie's jacket and yanking at it. "You have feelings for her, and you broke her heart anyway? What is your _problem_?"

"I was scared, so I panicked, okay?" Maggie shoves her arm, and if Kara was a human it'd make her shift. But as it is, Kara just keeps her grip on the jacket, unfazed. "I messed up, but that doesn't mean you get to act all sanctimonious about it. You said it yourself, you're hurting her too! I just figure you haven't messed things up so badly they can't be fixed yet. You can still be honest about your feelings for her..."

"I don't have feelings for Alex!" Kara almost-yells, and her voice cracks and falters as she says it. "I don't. I can't. I _can't_ have feelings for her."

Kara stops talking, suddenly.

They're making a scene.

Everyone in the bar is looking at them.

Everyone except the Keltorian. 

The Keltorian, who's backing away from them both, phone in his hands with some sort of alien technology built into it.

Kara lets go of Maggie's jacket, superspeeding around the table and to her feet.

"Stop!"

"NCPD, put your hands up right now!"

In the moments after they shout their respective warnings, three things happen.

First, an alien sitting at a booth near to theirs super-speeds forwards, grabbing Maggie's gun in her hands and forcing it down before hitting her.

Second, the Keltorian turns and starts to run towards the pool room.

And third, the windows at the front of the building explode inwards as a pair of Hounds crash into the building.

There's screaming, and running, and immediate violence. Kara can't think. She just reacts. The first Hound charges for the bartender, and she tackles it out of the air, knocking it to the floor. As soon as it's pinned down, she turns to check on Maggie.

Maggie swings, punching her attacker in the face and following it up with a knee drive to whatever his alien equivalent to a solar plexus is. She snaps a baton from her jacket pocket and swings it into his head, knocking him to the ground. Then she looks around, frantic, at the second hound tearing its way through the building, then towards the pool room.

"I can handle this!" Kara yells at her, gritting her teeth and trying her damnedest to keep the hound pinned. "Go! Get the Keltorian!"

Maggie nods. And then she's running, sprinting straight through to the pool room and vaulting the table to save time.

Okay. Kara can maybe see why Alex likes her. 

_Maybe._

Then she's focused on the here and now.

The Hound beneath her scrabbles to its feet, knocking her back, and she uses that as an excuse to shove it with a shoulder and leap towards its packmate.

The packmate in question is snarling at a pair of patrons it's cornered, metal-shard coat standing on end and sharpened. It's so busy intimidating the two of them that it doesn't notice Kara landing behind it, grabbing it by the tail, and throwing it into the bar. Well. It notices the last part. Bottles fall everywhere, smashing on the floor, and Kara winces. She'll pay for that. Or the DEO will. Probably.

"Get out of here!" She says to the two formerly-cornered civilians, and they run for the exit.

The hound in the corner, the hound behind the bar, and the man who'd attacked Maggie all get to their feet, focusing their attention on her now that the bar is emptied out. The man draws a knuckle duster, slipping it over his fingers and causing electricity to arc over it.

"I don't suppose we could solve this with measured debate?" Kara asks in vain hope, and the man charges her.

He's fast (and Kara's got some questions about what species he is to be _this_ fast) and he manages to land a hit on her abdomen before she can react. She wheezes, feeling the force of it knock her back. 

He follows up by striking her shoulder, holding the knuckle duster on her shoulder. She yelps in pain, dropping to her knees. The electricity arcs and scorches, leaving an ugly burn mark against her dress and her skin.

"This dress...was _really_ expensive," she grinds out, climbing back to her feet and working through the electricity and the pain to swing her fist around.

He goes flying, knuckleduster landing on the ground as he lands on (and breaks) a table. She'll pay for that, too.

She doesn't have time to celebrate her victory, though, as both Hounds charge her. The first knocks her down, and the second bites down on her leg, trying its damnedest to hurt her, and mainly succeeding in tearing the hem of her dress to tatters.

She lashes out with one leg, knocking that one away, then throws the one on top of her at the nearest wall. She looks around the room, searching for anything to give her an advantage, and spots the knuckle duster. 

It'll do.

She rushes it. She tunnel visions, and ignores the hounds, and superspeeds right for the weapon. It's just barely in her hands when the ankle-biting Hound tackles her again, knocking her to the floor and trying to bite her face. She holds her arm out for it to gnaw on, trying to get the knuckleduster to slip on to her fingers with only one hand. At last, she manages it, and she presses her knuckles against the Keltorian's shoulder.

The effect is immediate. The hound yowls, rolling off her, and she presses the duster against it until it stops struggling.

She can feel blood dripping from her nose from how hard she was hit, and she feels like she's run two Kryptonian-strength marathons, but she gets to her feet and raises her electrified weapon. The second hound whines. 

Then the electricity on it shorts out.

She clicks the button in its grip a few times. Nothing happens.

"Oh, come on! Did you seriously not charge the battery?"

The hound's barbs start to rise. It bares its teeth, metal spines sticking in every direction. Kara raises her fists, unsteady on her feet as the Hound prepares to attack.

There's a gunshot, and the Hound drops to the floor, electricity arcing over its body.

Oh.

Huh.

Kara lowers her fists, and Alex rounds the corner, rifle raised and aiming straight at the felled beast.

_Rao_ , she looks beautiful in a fight.

The rest of the DEO response team rushes in to secure the building, and Kara can't believe she didn't notice the vehicles arriving. In her defence, she was a little busy.

Alex lowers her gun, flicking the safety on and looking over with a smirk. "Looks like I got here right in time."

"I wouldn't have minded it about thirty seconds earlier, either," Kara responds, wiping the blood from her nose and feeling it smear over her cheek. She's too tired to be filled with self-hatred right now.

Alex grins. "I'll break a few more traffic laws next time." Then her eyes flick downwards, to the tatters of Kara's clothing. "Nice dress, Supergirl."

Kara reaches a finger through a hole by her knee and groans in defeat. "Nooo. This was _really expensive_."

"I'll tell Winn to get the sewing kit out again."

_ _ _

Kara's wearing a spare DEO uniform and sipping cheap coffee as she watches the DEO and NCPD take statements and check the crime scene. The Keltorian, his accomplice, and his Hounds are thrown into a van and sent on their merry way.

She notices all of that. But really, she's staring at Alex.

Alex, who's all action. Rifle loaded with prototype rounds from Winn slung on her back, giving orders and coordinating with the NCPD. Authority and power and confidence. She's breathtaking.

Someone walks up next to her, and clears their throat.

Kara glances away for a second, and sees Maggie there, sipping on a coffee of her own. Must be the standard post-trauma drink.

"Nice work back there, Supergirl."

"You too." She looks back over at Alex, and thinks about her words. "Good job catching up to the Keltorian. I uh, hear you slammed him against the door of the first DEO response vehicle as it arrived."

Maggie snorts a laugh. "Yeah, he almost ran clean into it before I caught him."

Kara nods.

The flashing lights of the NCPD vehicles light up Alex's hair, making it flicker blue and red, making her eyes bright. She's alive tonight - she always comes alive when there's a fight, and tonight's no exception. She glances over at Kara and beams, and Kara can't help but smile back.

"About what you said earlier..." Maggie begins, and there goes Kara's calm and zen feelings. 

She tenses, fingers creasing the polystyrene cup.

"You told me you _can't_ have feelings for Alex."

Kara swallows and nods. She can't. She just can't.

"I might not be able to relate to your exact situation, but...I know a thing or two about liking someone who society tells me I'm not _allowed_ to." She's silent for a few moments. "My parents threw me out when they found out I'm gay. Alex...she doesn't know. I told her they were cool about it. It's not something I share with people much, but...I figure it's important to tell you."

Oh, Rao. "Maggie, I'm so sorry..."

"I'm not saying it for a pity-party, Girl of Steel. I'm saying it because...despite that? Despite my parents hating me, despite parts of society telling me I'm sick and that my love is _wrong_? I don't regret it." She takes another sip of her coffee, grimacing at the taste. "Because being true to myself, and being honest about my feelings and about who I love? Has made my life so much better. To hell with what society wants."

"Why are you telling me all this?" Kara asks. She looks over at Maggie, who's just looking at her with a curious smile on her lips, dimples on display.

"Because you look at her the way I know I could have." She tosses her coffee cup into a trash can and pats Kara on the shoulder as she passes her by. "See you around, Little Danvers."

And then she's gone, leaving Kara standing in an alleyway with nothing but her thoughts, her feelings, and her fading buzz of alcohol.

She stares over at Alex. Alex, who's moved over to talk to a pair of witnesses - the couple who Kara had saved from the Hound. She speaks to them so softly, so gently - such a strong contrast to her authority and power when she's ordering around the investigation. Gentle, and supportive, and strong, and wonderful.

Kara can't like her. It's not allowed.

But...

Since when have the Danvers Sisters cared about rules?

Stop a plane crash, steal a spaceship, attack a military convoy on motorbikes, save the world. Break every rule.

Date their adoptive sisters.

Why should it matter? Why should it matter what everyone else tells them is the _right thing_ to do?

Kara swallows another gulp of her coffee, and she wishes it was a glass of water so she could make some complicated metaphor about water and rebirth. 

Realising this, accepting it, drinking this coffee, it doesn't feel like rebirth - it's too gritty and bitter for that. 

It feels like...

It feels like sobering up.

She throws her coffee cup away, and walks forwards.

"Agent Danvers, hey. Can I borrow you for a minute?"

Alex jumps in surprise, turning to face Kara. Her eyes flick back to the couple she's just finished questioning. "Sure, just gimme a sec?"

Kara nods.

"Thank you so much for your time and your statements, they'll really help." She hands over a card. "If you remember anything else, call this number, okay? It's a direct line to the NCPD detective in charge of this investigation. She'll make sure any information she gets is shared with the FBI."

The couple take the card, and Alex walks with Kara - behind one of the DEO vans. It's hardly the most private place in the world, but it's still away from prying eyes.

"Nice work tonight, Supergirl," she says softly, once they're safely out of sight. "I didn't know you worked with the NCPD much. Maggie tells me she called you in for a favour."

Maggie covered for her. 

Huh. 

Kara's respect for her bumps up another notch or two. Small notches.

"Honestly? I didn't even know she was doing an operation tonight, at first. After everything that happened today, with the investigation, I...wanted a drink. I felt guilty for what they put you through, so I just...went to drown out that guilt." She half-shrugs. "Detective Sawyer saw me, and asked for my help."

"Well, that would explain the dress."

"Uuugh. Don't remind me. I loved that dress."

"So did I, believe me," Alex grins, and her eyes rake down Kara's DEO uniform. "Not that you don't look great in DEO black, too."

Kara's back stiffens at the praise, at the way Alex is openly checking her out. Her jaw clenches.

No. She doesn't have to do this. She can accept the warmth in her stomach and her cheeks, and she can fight the tension in her shoulders. She reminds herself that it's okay.

"Sorry, that probably still wasn't very glacial of me, was it?" Alex asks, brushing her hair back behind her ear. "I'm not very good at this, I just..."

_Break every rule._

 

She kisses Alex.

 

Her lips probably taste of bad coffee and alien rum, but she kisses her anyway.

Alex makes a noise of surprise, and then her arms wrap around Kara's shoulders, pulling her closer.

Somewhere in the next twenty seconds or so, Alex ends up pressed against the van, and the two of them pull back for breath, breathing hard.

"What was, uh. What was that for?" Alex asks, voice higher and less steady than normal. "Not that I'm, um, complaining, but that was just..."

"I'm being true to myself," Kara murmurs, staring into Alex's eyes. "I'm not scared any more."

"True to yourself, huh?" Alex grins, fingers playing with a lock of blonde hair. "I can't say I've got any complaints."

"Want to go have our second date?" Kara says, feeling emboldened. "I know a great diner near here that does the second-best waffles in the city."

Alex's eyes light up, and she looks like she's about to accept...before something flickers across her face. She bites her lip. "I'd love to, but I can't."

Oh.

"My sister's not feeling great tonight, and I promised I'd stick around at her place in case she needed me."

_Oh_.

"I should really be getting back to her."

Kara's secret identity is keeping her from her second date. She accepts her feelings, and now Alex has to be all noble and do what Kara needs, not realising that _this_ is what Kara needs. 

She wants to cry at how unfair it is.

"Of course. I understand. You should be with your sister." She steps away from Alex slowly, adjusting her non-existent glasses. "Um...Tell her I said hi and I hope she feels better soon, okay?"

Alex smiles and nods. "I will. And as soon as she's feeling better, I expect to be taken to that diner, Supergirl."

"You got it, Agent Danvers."

_ _ _

Kara is eternally thankful for superspeed. 

She's back at her apartment only a few minutes later. She doesn't have long before Alex will be back.

Her phone is flashing, and she checks it to find three new messages.

Alex ♥ –  
I tried knocking on your door but I think you might have been asleep. I got called in for a work thing - I'll be back soon, okay? I love you.  
Received – 8:14pm Thursday

Lucia -  
Darling, I just saw pictures of you online. When we got you that dress, I wasn't expecting you to use it to fight off the ravening hordes.  
Received - 10:31pm Thursday

Lucia -  
Not that I have any complaints about you showing off a little more of your legs.  
Received - 10:34pm Thursday

Kara snorts and checks news sites to find a handful of pictures of her in the alien bar, in the midst of the fight against the Hounds with long scratches cutting through the hem of her dress. Seriously? Fighting to protect those people, and they just take pictures of her to sell to the media.

"Well, at least they only tore the hemline. Could've been worse."

She drops her phone on to her bed and looks at herself in the mirror.

Tying her hair back, changing back into her pajamas and wrapping her blanket around herself will be easy.

What's less easy is the taste of coffee and alcohol on her breath, the smell of beer on herself, the tenderness on her cheek, and the dried blood under her nose. 

She winces. Great.

Damn it, secret identities.

She scrubs her face clean, ignoring the tenderness of her nose, then brushes her teeth (three times; she breaks the first toothbrush by brushing too hard).

A too-hot shower (and a little too much body wash to cover the smell of the alien bar) follows. Once she's fully cleaned off the grime of the bar, she wraps a towel around herself and grabs her glasses in one hand, before stepping out into her apartment.

She freezes.

Alex is standing there.

In her apartment.

How did she get back so fast?

Damn it, what is wrong with her superhearing tonight?

She's back in her casual clothes, leather jacket shrugged off and slung over the couch.

Now that Kara knows she's there, her hearing picks up the way Alex's pulse slightly spikes when she looks at Kara's legs.

Alex looks confused at herself and rubs her forehead.

Kara uses the brief moment where Alex's gaze is distracted to put her glasses on, tucking her hair back behind her ears. 

"Hey, Kar. I'm really sorry for racing out on you. Did you get my message?"

Kara nods, shakily. "Yeah. I woke up and uh, I really wanted a shower to make myself feel less _urgh_ , y'know?" It's not technically a lie. Other than the waking-up part. She adjusts her towel, and tries not to think about the fact that she's mostly-naked next to the woman she was kissing against a van less than twenty minutes ago.

"Did it work?" Alex asks. She's keeping her distance, still. Giving Kara her space. "How're you feeling?"

Kara thinks about the question. 

She stares at Alex. At the way her hair frames her face, at her posture and the concerned look she has in her eyes; the look she saves just for Kara.

"Yeah."

Alex smiles, and the tension in her shoulders releases all at once.

"I feel....I feel like everything's going to work out okay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _True Even to Herself._
> 
> _[Side note: this is the song which is permanently in my head for Maggie and Kara's conversation outside the bar,](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8REeOrmIMU) when the DEO and NCPD are clearing up and they're both standing around drinking coffee._


	12. Hounded

Supergirl swoops through the balcony of the DEO, landing next to Winn and sending a paper flying off his desk. He yelps and catches it, turning to give a Look.

"Nice reflexes!" She grins and pats him on the shoulder as he slaps the paper down on his table and places a Rubik's cube on top of it to hold it down.

"Good morning to you too. D'you choose me specifically to terrorise with your superpowers, or is there a DEO agent rota?"

Kara thinks about the question for a few seconds. "No, it's just you. But I bring you baked goods in form of apology." She raises a bag that's been dangling from her other hand and he stares at it for a moment.

Winn stares at it, a pout on his face. "...Are there crullers?"

"You know me."

He snatches the bag out of her hands and shoves a cruller into his mouth.

Kara hops up on to his desk, sitting on the edge of it and swinging her legs absently. 

"I hear you visited James yesterday."

Kara wrinkles her nose and shoves a cruller into her own mouth. "You two talk too much."

"He told me he thought he made things worse, but...you seem _chipper_ today." His eyes narrow as he looks at her, suspicious. "Did you and you-know-who talk?"

"Mhm!"

"And...it went well?"

Kara's glad for the cruller; she wipes sugar from her cheek to hide her blush. "Mhm!"

He stares at her intently for a few seconds in total silence. She feels like he can see right through her and like he knows exactly what happened last night.

"Huh" is what he says instead, and reaches back into the paper bag.

"So, how's the interrogation going?" she asks, clearing her throat and doing her best to change the subject.

"They called J'onn in for an interview this morning," Winn shrugs, mouth full of cruller. "So I guess that means they're almost done."

"I meant the interrogation of the Keltorian, Winn."

Not that knowing more about the military investigation isn't good. The sooner they're gone, the better. But this morning, she's got bigger fish to fry. Metaphorically. He's not literally a fish-alien, and Kara won't be frying him. Just. It's a human expression, okay?

Winn has a look of realisation on his face, and hurriedly chews the rest of his cruller.

"Take your time," she says. "If you don't savour that I'm not buying you more."

Winn glares at her and starts chewing intentionally slowly. "Alex is interrogating him now," he says, after far too long. "Poor guy, I almost feel bad for him. I'd love to see how much he's spilled already."

Their eyes both flick to his computer screen at the same moment. What follows can only be described as a manic scramble of a nerd and a superhero (who is also a nerd), falling over each other in their attempts to switch to the interrogation room video feed.

"You really don't realise how much trouble you're in, do you?" Alex's voice comes through the computer speakers, and Kara has to suppress a shudder in response to hearing that particular phrase in that particular tone of voice. Damn it. She climbs off Winn and moves to watch the feed.

The Keltorian sits in his glass cell, fingers tracing over the tattoo-like markings covering his arms.

"Keltorians are a hunter society that got fast-tracked to the space age," Winn whispers, shoving half a donut into his mouth and continuing to speak with his mouth full. "Very reliant on tradition. The tattoos are marks of successful hunts."

Kara nods then refocuses on the video feed.

"I've done nothing wrong, human."

"You released trained hunting hounds on _civilian populations_. If Supergirl hadn't been there..."

"If your Supergirl had not been there, then things would've proceeded as they should have done. She interfered with an ancient rite."

Alex crosses her arms, and even through the grainy footage, she doesn't look impressed. "I thought your Hunts were meant to be grand releases of the hounds. Not releasing one to cover your escape, or selling one to people trying to terrorise Lena Luthor."

The Keltorian laughs a harsh and grating laugh. "You haven't seen a Hunt yet, _Agent_. But you will."

Something in Kara's stomach drops.

"I gave the pack a taste of their prey. The Hunt hasn't come yet."

Alex steps closer to the glass. "When's the Hunt? Where are you keeping the rest of your hounds?"

But the Keltorian seems to be done talking. He just laughs.

Kara grinds her teeth together, frustrated, but Alex seems unfazed.

"That's alright. I'll just ask your associate."

The Keltorian's grin drops, just a little.

"He's a Vivilan, right? Superspeed, not all that strong. Not all that bright, either. They don't have any Grand Hunt traditions." Alex looks down at her tablet, swiping through a page of information. "See, you're going to be locked up for a long time. But I wonder if he'd be willing to make a deal with us. Reduced sentence, a normal prison instead of DEO custody...think he'd be interested?"

The Keltorian, for the first time, seems angered. He rushes the glass, pounding a fist against it. "If he tells you anything, I will kill him with my bare hands."

"Nah," Alex hums and taps out something. "I don't think he's going to have to worry about you for a very long time."

He snarls. "Fine! But I want his deal."

"I'm so glad there's no honour among thieves," Winn says.

Alex glances up. "You coordinated five attacks that we _know_ of, and you've told us you're planning a Hunt. No reduced sentence. But if the information's valuable...we'll let the sentence be in prison. No solitary confinement and glass cells."

The two stare at each other for a few long moments, and Kara shifts from one foot to the other, impatient for an answer.

"Humans came to me. They paid me to arrange my Grand Hunt on the same date as some human festival. A great day, following a feast. I didn't pay attention, I just accepted their tribute and arranged the hunt. They told me there would be much prey, pressed together like cattle."

"Oh, Rao," Kara's eyes widen.

"The hunt's going to happen on Black Friday."

_ _ _

Alex paces in J'onn's office, and Kara knows it's a serious situation, but she just can't stop staring at the way Alex's hips are moving. Damn it.

"So we've got _one week_ to track down every single hound kennel in the city?" J'onn asks.

Rao. One week. That's an issue.

"I'm afraid it's a little worse than that, sir," Alex responds. "His kennels have a linked system. If he doesn't report in at any of them for two days, they're set to all automatically unlock."

Crap.

"So as of now, we've got..." Alex lifts her right hand, checking the watch she keeps strapped to the inside of her wrist. "...thirty-five hours, at the very most. The one advantage we have is that our captive Keltorian has told us the locations of what he _claims_ are all five kennels - we're interrogating the Vivilan now to find out if there are any that might've been conveniently missed out of his list." 

"We have to assume that the kennels are trapped." Kara crosses her arms. "The linked failsafe might even activate as soon as one site is breached." She doesn't like that idea, but she has to raise it as a possibility.

"There's no way you can attack every single location at once, Supergirl. Even if you could, they're tough enough that fighting two was already a struggle. Thankfully...I don't think you'll have to." Alex's eyes flick over to Winn, who jumps to his feet.

"Last night, Al--Agent Danvers field tested my prototype shock rounds. They provide a non-lethal electrical burst that's strong enough to knock out a Keltorian Hound. Unless it's like, a freakishly big one or something."

"How many have you managed to make?"

That makes him wince. "Not counting the one from last night? Twenty-five rounds, plus another eighteen pistol-caliber prototypes that I used as an early test before I realised they didn't have enough charge to be consistent."

Damn it. They'll have to make every shot count.

"We'll need to act fast. Five locations, five teams." J'onn brings up a map of National City on one of his office's TVs. "There are two that are further away from the city center. Here, and here. Supergirl and half of Raptor Two will take the furthest target - if anything goes wrong at any other location, she'll be able to move in as support fastest. I'll take the other distant target with the other half of Raptor Two."

"Leaving the three targets within the city to the other strike teams." Alex steps towards the map. "Permission to lead Trap One against the most central target, sir?"

"Permission granted. Agent Vasquez will take Trap Two and secure the closest target. Wainwright and Raptor One will be responsible for the last kennel." J'onn sighs. "We don't have much time to lose. So let's get to work."

_ _ _

To say the agents were _displeased_ to find out that there'd only be two rifles per team was an understatement. To say they were displeased to find out that each rifle would only be getting three rounds would be criminal. They're in the armory, preparing.

Kara's always liked this part. Before the storm hits, when everyone's preparing. She's in her super suit already (of course) but she still likes to be here, for the cameraderie.

Fischer is gloating over getting one of his team's rifles while McAvoy adjusts his optics to compensate for his eye. Khatri loads her pistol, counting out each of her six rounds like they're the most precious things in the world.

Vasquez twirls a stun baton between their fingers, muttering something under their breath that not even Kara's hearing can catch.

Alex steps out of the locker rooms, adjusting her bulletproof vest. She picks a pair of pistols out, loading three blue-glowing bullets into each of them before slipping them into their holsters. She's standing close to Supergirl. To casual observation, it would seem like a coincidence, but Kara knows better. Especially when Alex starts speaking, too quietly for anything other than superhearing.

"You okay?"

Kara nods, mustering a smile.

"Any second thoughts?"

And Kara knows that Alex isn't really speaking about the mission. They've run a hundred missions with bigger stakes than this. And that's when she realises that the nervous twitching of Alex's fingertips isn't from the mission. It's her.

"No second thoughts. I'm ready for this."

That, at least, makes Alex smile.

"...So, we're definitely walking into an ambush, right?" she asks, shifting the subject.

Alex barks a laugh. Tension released. Another successful joke, Zor-El. "Oh yeah. One hundred percent. But that's why I'm bringing _two_ guns." 

"Really." Kara crosses her arms and quirks an eyebrow, giving Alex a once-over. "And here I was, thinking that was just you trying to impress me."

Alex smirks, turning to face the door as J'onn walks in. "Is it working?"

Kara's eyes flick over Alex's features, across her face and her jaw, down to the confident tilt of her hips and the holsters strapped there. "...Ask me again after the mission."

The room falls silent, stifling any further opportunity for flirting, letting J'onn take the floor.

"You all have your assignments. We'll be striking fast and hard, with three six-man squads and two four-man squads. This is a coordinated operation, and backup might not be quick getting to you in the event that you need it. Keltorian Hounds are fast and strong. Ideally, you want to take them out at range, but do _not_ waste your shots. Raptor Two, you've got less rounds and less support in each location. Let Supergirl or myself take point. Ideally, we'll be able to hold targets still or incapacitate them ourselves. Make every bullet count; do not fire unless you're sure it will hit. Is that understood?"

There's a collection of _yes sirs_ and _affirmatives_ , and Kara takes a breath.

"See you after the show?"

"Wouldn't miss it."

_ _ _

Kara floats over the old factory near the edge of the city, watching as her team deploy from their containment trucks. There's too much lead content around for her to get a clear view of the Hounds. Her eyes flick up, looking far across the city. She can't see the ground teams, but she can see two groups deploying from helicopters further into the city.

"Raptor Two-Two is in position," Agent Dallas murmurs into his comms, and she looks back towards the factory to see him nod towards her from a side door.

"Raptor One in position."

"Trap Two, ready."

"Raptor Two-One in position."

"Trap One, in position." Kara breathes out slowly as she hears Alex's voice over her comms.

There's a few moments of silence. The wind picks up a little, and Kara hears every single detail. 

McAvoy's grip on his rifle is tight enough to make the polymer creak. Dallas clicks on his stun baton, sparking and fizzling. Lohani's dog tags clink gently against the wedding rings on the chain around her neck. In the city, there's a car crash.

"Breach."

Kara swoops down, breaking the door open with barely a tap.

Her super-vision is useless, but the moment she's through the door, she can hear clearly. Non-human energy, probably barriers. And snarling.

She tries her best to remember the hand signals that Alex taught her, but she's pretty sure most of them were actually just ASL for swear words. But whether that's the case or not, her three agents form up behind her as they move towards one particular hallway.

"Stay careful," she murmurs. "We have to expect this place to be trapped, and even if it isn't--"

There's a surge of energy.

"Crap," Wainwright's voice comes through the comms.

The humming sound has stopped.

"--that might happen. Positions!"

They're coming. Kara draws her own stun batons; electricity has proven better than most of her superpowers against the hounds. McAvoy props his rifle up on a conveyor belt, holding his aim steady. _Three rounds._

A door bursts open, and no less than five hounds pour through. One falls over another in their slavering haste for food.

"McAvoy!"

He takes a shot at one of the fallen hounds, hitting the one responsible for the accidental tackle and causing it to yelp and flop atop its packmate.

_Two._

Kara charges forwards at superspeed, striking the lead hound across the jaw with a stun baton before blowing freeze breath towards the others. They yelp, and she pushes the tip of her second baton against the side of the one she charged. It yelps and collapses.

Dallas and Lohani are attacked by one that Kara slowed down with freeze breath. It seems brittle and angry, but otherwise pretty unbothered by being supercooled.

Lohani dodges to the left, before Dallas gets full-body tackled. He yelps, and Kara's eyes widen, rushing into action.

Lohani's closer, though. She strikes the hound with her baton once, twice, then swings it at the hound's head. It drops to one side, leaving Dallas wheezing.

The gun goes off again, filling the factory with noise and reverberation.

_One._

Kara spins, and there's only one hound left standing. It's supercooled and very, very angry looking. Its eyes meet Dallas's, flicking over the cuts on his leg. Its nostrils flare.

Kara tackles it.

Grabs it, forces it to the ground. It snarls and snaps at her, biting down on her arm hard enough to make her wince.

"Ma'am, hold it steady!" McAvoy yells.

"I'm trying!"

She wraps her other arm around its neck, trying to hold it still and stop it from tearing her sleeve apart (again).

"Steady!"

" _Do you wanna try this?!_ "

She rolls over, pinning the hound above her.

He takes the shot.

_Zero._

The hound goes limp in her arms, and she breathes a sigh of relief, letting her head rest against the dirty, rusty floor.

"You okay, Dallas?"

Dallas mutters a few curses as he gets to his feet, but nods. "All present and correct. Not bleeding too bad."

Kara presses a finger to her ear. "Raptor Two-Two has cleared its location."

"Raptor Two-One is cleaning up," J'onn calls in response. "One tried to run, but I'm chasing it down."

"Trap One: our location was busted open," Alex's voice. "Three cages breached, only one Hound left on-site. I think this was the group Supergirl fought the other week, that we thought broke out of containment early."

"This is, uh, this is Raptor One." Wainwright sounds out of breath. "Location is secured. We've got three wounded, medevac has been called. All hounds accounted for."

The call falls to silence after that. Everyone waiting for the fifth voice to call the all-clear.

There's nothing but static.

Kara grits her teeth. _Come on, Vasquez._

"----h enemy contact! Kennels throughout the building! Requesting immediate backup!"

Kara's in the air before Vasquez even starts their second sentence.

She's broken the sound barrier by the time the word 'backup' is uttered.

There's no lead in Vasquez's apartment complex. Kara has a clear view through the whole thing. Vasquez has grabbed the pistol from one of their squad members who seems to be unconscious (his heart's still beating, so there's _that_ , at least). They strike a hound with their baton then shoot at another that charges them.The pistol round seems to stun it, but it staggers back to its feet a moment later.

Another of the squad is bleeding profusely from her shoulder, pale and leaning against a wall; rifle fallen to the floor next to her.

Kara's seen enough. She flies through another door, breaking it from its hinges and driving it into the side of one hound. It goes flying, impacting a wall and sticking their, metal plates digging into the old plaster and concrete.

Three hounds turn their attention to her, including one that's larger than any of the others. Well. She supposes that's the alpha.

Do Keltorian Hounds have alphas?

She'll ask Winn later.

Fischer fires his rifle twice, dropping one of the hounds. Okay. Only two for her to deal with, and she's got backup. That's fine.

An apartment door bursts open, and Vasquez and two of their baton-wielders are charged by another hound.

How many of them _are_ there in here?

Kara leaps forwards, swinging one of her batons around towards it; intent on bringing it down before it can do anything to anyone.

It grabs the baton between its teeth and snaps it in two.

It chews. 

Swallows.

Kara stares at it in blank disbelief for a few seconds.

"What."

It roars in her face, and Kara feels like she might have come to this fight unprepared. The headbutt that follows causes a deep, stinging pain in her forehead, and a moment later she feels blood flowing down her cheek. That decides it. She definitely came into this fight unprepared.

Vasquez is tackled by one of the hounds, gritting their teeth and firing their pistol at its underbelly. Once. Twice. The hound collapses. The gun clicks empty again and again, and Vasquez slumps in relief, even from their position pinned underneath an enormous unconscious alien dog.

Kara swoops into the air, before yelping as the hound bites down on her cape and yanks her back to earth.

She hits the floor hard enough to crack the concrete, groaning and striking wildly with her second baton. The smaller hound seems to be losing interest in her, turning to face Vasquez and their team, who seem focused on trying to get the unconscious hound off their team leader.

"Oh, no, you don't."

Kara kicks the alpha in the face to make it release her cape, gripping the floor and scrabbling her way forwards. Tackles the smaller hound. They go rolling, landing near to the bleeding agent. She staggers backwards, tripping over her own rifle. Kara groans, striking the hound with her second baton until it stops thrashing around.

She can hear the alpha behind her starting to regain its bearing. No time.

She superspeeds forwards, grabbing the fallen rifle from the floor and rolling over to face the Alpha. She raises the gun, prays to Rao that it still has ammo, and pulls the trigger as it leaps at her.

An electrical round strikes the alpha hard enough to throw it out of its leap, dropping it to the floor twitching.

Kara breathes a sigh of relief.

Relief that came too early.

The alpha starts to clamber its way back to its feet, and the hound that Kara hit with a door extricates itself from the wall.

Kara raises her rifle again and pulls the trigger. It clicks. 

Oh. 

Well, crap.

She hears a deep, low growl coming from the alpha as it prepares to charge. It's getting louder, getting closer.

Wait.

_That's not the alpha._

The front doors breach open. And Alex is there. She slips from her motorbike, letting it slide across the ground and impact the side of the alpha, knocking it over with a whine. Alex slides a few feet along the concrete flooring, drawing one pistol and firing two rounds at the smaller hound before she even comes to a stop.

Second pistol. She fires two rounds at the alpha, and climbs to her feet. Fires her last two bullets, one from each pistol, then drops both. It staggers, barely standing, and Alex grabs the rifle slung to her back. Bringing it to bear, clicking the safety off, and firing three times at the alpha. It whines, pathetically, electricity coursing across its metal body, before it finally falls to the ground.

If Kara listens closely, she can hear a very quiet snoring.

Kara blinks from her position on the floor, empty rifle in her hands, as sunlight filters through the concrete dust and Alex hefts her rifle in one hand, a smirk on her lips.

"Okay," Kara begins, swallowing hard and trying to catch her breath. "I'm impressed."

_ _ _

"Hey there Stargirl."

Kara grins and presses an ice pack against the cut on her forehead. "Hey."

"How's everyone doing?" Alex looks towards the medbay, crossing her arms and leaning against the wall next to Kara.

"Nothing too bad. Fischer's leg needed stitches and Ito has a broken collarbone and a concussion, but everyone else was mainly just cuts and bruises. Things could've gone a lot worse if you didn't show up when you did." Kara thinks about it for a few moments. "Speaking of: how annoyed was J'onn?"

Alex barks a laugh. "Well, I'm stuck on lab work for the next month, so...he took it pretty well, I'd say."

Kara snorts.

The two of them fall into silence then. Both looking towards the medbay. After a few seconds, Kara lets her eyes flick to one side, looking at Alex. Looks away. Looks, again; catches Alex looking. They both look away. Kara clears her throat.

"So, uh, do you--"

"So I was thinking--"

The both begin talking at the same time, then both laugh awkwardly and fall silent.

"You first," Kara decides, risking a smile.

Alex looks like she was about to say the same thing, and grumbles a little as she tries to sort her thoughts into some rough order.

"So, last night, you asked me something, but I couldn't say yes, because I had to check on my sister."

"Oh! How is she, by the way?" Kara interjects. She doesn't mean to interrupt, but keeping her cover intact is second nature to her at this point.

"She's good. Thank you for asking. I still don't quite know what was bothering her, but...she seemed better after I got back last night. More at peace."

Kara grins and bumps shoulders with Alex.

"So anyway...you asked me something."

"Uh huh." Kara turns to face Alex, giving up on all pretence of a casual conversation.

"And I was wondering..."

"Uh huh?" She bats her eyelashes a little.

"I was wondering if you were still...interested in what you asked."

Kara smirks, slowly. "Sorry, you'll have to remind me what I asked you. I've got a head injury, y'know. It's all a little _fuzzy._ "

Alex scoffs and shoves Kara's shoulder. "You ass!"

Kara sticks her tongue out.

"You're seriously gonna make me say it?"

"Uh huh!" she says, once more, this time with her tongue stuck out.

Alex scrunches her face in annoyance, before letting out a slow breath. Steadying herself. "Go on a date with me. Tomorrow."

Kara pulls her tongue back. She stares into Alex's eyes. Her soft, gentle, loving eyes. Rao, how did it take her so long to see Alex? _Really_ see her? "Yes."

Alex beams. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Good. Great."

Kara can't resist. "Though, y'know, considering _you're_ the one who asked _me_ this time, that means you need to decide what we're doing and where we're going. And you're paying."

Alex's mouth falls open. "Oh, come on! You asked me last night!"

"And you said no!" Kara grins and pokes Alex in the side. "That means the ball's in your court!"

"I totalled my motorbike saving your life!" Alex whines. "How am I supposed to drive you somewhere nice?"

Kara tilts her head and steps closer to Alex, into her personal space. "I'm sure you'll think of something."

Alex's heart rate stutters wildly. "Um. Uh. That." Kara's grin widens. Okay, she could get used to having this sort of reaction on Alex. "Okay. I'll. I'll think of something and I'll, um, text you."

Kara beams and leans in to kiss Alex on the cheek. "Great! See you tomorrow night."

Kara practically skips away, leaving Alex dumbfounded in her wake.

She's only just made it around the corner when her phone rings. Her civilian phone. Her Kara phone.

Her eyes widen and she yanks the phone out of her boot, answering it without checking the caller ID.

"Kara!"

It's Alex. How is it Alex. Why is it Alex. Why is Alex calling Kara right now.

"Heyyyy, Alex. What's up?"

Alex makes a strangled noise. "I've got a date tomorrow night and I need your help."

_Damn it._

_ _ _

"So let me get this straight," Kara begins, then stops herself short. "Which you are not."

Alex groans. "Oh, god, I'm gonna have to start getting used to gay..." Alex pauses. Flinches a little. "To _not straight_ puns from you, aren't I?"

"Oh, definitely." Kara shoves a curly fry into her mouth to punctuate her statement.

"Kill me now, I preferred being oblivious to my every thought and feeling."

"Nah you didn't." Kara bumps Alex's thigh with one of her toes from her position curled up on the couch. "But either way... so you're telling me that you and Supergirl are having a second date tomorrow night? That's sudden."

"It's...I dunno, Kar." Alex thinks about it for a moment. She seems to struggle for words, hands waving almost like Kara's do as she tries to think of how to explain the situation. "It just feels like things have changed between us, y'know? She was so _cautious_ at first. Scared. Like she didn't know what she really wanted."

Kara swallows a little harder than she should and bites down on another four curly fries to keep herself quiet and keep attention off herself.

"But now? Now, she's just...she's _intense_. Last night, she told me she 'wasn't scared any more'."

"Well," Kara begins, mulling over her next words carefully. "You _are_ pretty scary."

"Rude!"

Kara grins and scooches over to hug Alex. "You deserve it, Alex. You deserve every bit of happiness that comes your way."

Alex returns the hug, humming.

They stay like that for a few moments, the picture of adorable siblings.

"Okay, you're chewing in my ear and it's louder than concussion grenades," Alex shoves Kara's face away, ruining the moment. "And you still haven't helped me to work out where I'm taking her on our date."

Kara crosses her arms. She really, really doesn't want to give a suggestion. She doesn't want to plan out her own date from a distance. Rao, she wants it to be a surprise, and Alex has been rambling about ideas almost since Kara walked through the door to her apartment.

"Well, I mean, you can't go far, right? Your motorbike's totalled."

"Yeah, well..." Alex trails off. Frowns. "Wait. I didn't...I didn't tell you about my motorbike."

Crap.

Kara's eyes widen and she flounders for an excuse.

Alex is looking more and more confused, rubbing at the side of her head and wincing a little, and Kara's abruptly hyperaware of the makeup on her forehead that's covering up the mostly-healed cut there.

"I, uh. Winn told me. He gave me a heads-up your bike wasn't doing too great and you might be at my apartment annoying me more than usual for the next few days."

Alex stares at Kara for a few moments, a frown on her features.

Kara twitches anxiously.

"...Damn it, Winn. How many times do I have to tell him not to talk about DEO business publicly?"

Kara relaxes, tension leaving her shoulders. Dang, that was close. "So...you need to take her somewhere nearby to your apartment. Unless you can borrow a car or you want her to fly you both to her own date."

Alex thinks about it, taking a fry from Kara's plate and chewing on it. 

Kara makes an affronted noise, which Alex totally ignores.

"Nearby to my apartment. Walking distance. Okay. That's..." Alex pauses. Her eyes light up in a way that Kara probably shouldn't find so attractive. "Kara, you're a genius. I know the perfect place!" 

Alex wraps Kara in another hug, grinning. 

"I just hope she likes it."

Kara burrows against Alex's neck, breathing her in, and squeezes Alex just a little too tightly in return. "If it's something you thought of? I know for a fact that she'll love it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Hi there._
> 
> _I'm so sorry it's been so long between updates. I've been pretty awfully writers-blocked for the past two months, and on top of that, IRL things were intensifying. I've been wanting to move out of the village where I grew up, and in the last few months, that's grown from a possibility to a reality. So...it took a while, but I've moved cities and overcome my writer's block, and it felt_ so _good to get back to writing, honestly. I've missed it, and I've missed all of you. <3 _
> 
> _I hope it was worth the wait._


	13. Diner Dates and DEO Disasters

Kara's phone goes off.

Why does this keep being the way she gets woken up.

She groans, reaching for it and knocking her alarm clock off its perch. Of course.

Her fingers wrap around the offending device, and she wakes up just enough to realise it's her Supergirl phone ringing.

She answers.

"Mm?"

"Supergirl?"

It's Alex. Kara's eyes jerk open and she sits up, abruptly wide awake.

"Alex! Hey." She tries to sound as awake as she feels, but her voice seems to be lagging behind.

"You okay over there, Stargirl?" Alex asks, mirth in her voice. "Did I wake up National City's hero?"

"Whaaat?" Kara feigns incredulity. "Wake me up? Nooo. I'm..." She yawns, loudly. "I've been awake for hours!"

"Uh _huh_. Not a morning person?"

Kara grumbles. "Not really a _being awake_ person, to be honest. It's overrated."

Alex snorts a laugh.

"Is there an emergency? Is something exploding?"

"No! No emergency." There's a few seconds of silence on the other end of the phone. Kara's pretty sure she can faintly hear Alex tapping on something. "So, I, uh, I had a question about our date. ...What time are you available?"

Kara squints, thinking about her schedule for the day. It's Saturday. She's got a free schedule today, a day off work unless Snapper or James call her in for anything.

Wait. It _is_ Saturday, right? 

She pulls her phone away from her ear to check. 7:47am, Saturday. November 19th.

Right.

She brings her phone back up; the tapping's got a little faster in her brief absence, and there's some noise of cars and conversation.

"My schedule is totally empty today. What time were you thinking?"

"Um." The tapping stops. Alex clears her throat on the other end of the line, and a truck drives past her. "...Now?"

What? _Now?_ "N-now? As in, right now?"

"That is what 'now' typically tends to mean, yeah."

"But that's..." Kara tries to think of the right word. "...soon!"

Alex laughs. "If you want to meet up later, we can, I was just wondering..."

"No!" Kara rushes out. "No. Now sounds...really good, actually. Just let me get out of bed and get some breakfast or something, and I'll--"

"I was actually..." Alex interrupts her, then pauses. "...I was wondering if you wanted to get some breakfast together. You mentioned a diner the other night, and I thought I could maybe take you to my favorite?"

Kara tries to find words for a few moments. A diner. Breakfast food. Coffee. Waffles. Pancakes. _Bacon._

How is Alex the perfect woman? 

"That. Um. Yeah! That sounds great. Where should we meet?"

"You know Kara's apartment?" Alex asks, and Kara almost laughs. Of _course_ Alex's favorite is the one next to the loft. "It's just a couple blocks away from there. I can meet you outside Kara's place and we can walk there?"

Kara stumbles out of bed, pulling back her curtains to look down at street level. Sure enough, Alex is there, leaning against the building opposite Kara's, aviators perched on her face to block out the sun. Her fingers tap a rhythm on the wall.

Alex bites her lip, waiting for a response. Shifting her weight from one foot to the other, and Kara takes a moment to stare at her from the privacy of her loft. To take in every nervous habit she displays on the phone, talking to her crush.

Her...girlfriend? 

Are they girlfriends? 

No. They've been on one date. It's way too early for them to be girlfriends, right?

"Supergirl?"

Kara almost drops the phone, surprised by Alex's voice on the line. "Shoot! Sorry!"

Alex laughs, and Kara watches her face light up, a bright grin crossing her features. Kara doesn't think she's ever seen Alex looking this happy. This whole.

"Yeah! I'll be there in..." Kara checks the time again. "...ten minutes, okay?"

"I can't wait."

_ _ _

Nine minutes and thirty-one (and a half, but who's counting?) seconds later, Supergirl rounds the corner to Kara Danvers's street. She adjusts the leather jacket Lucia bought for her, sending a silent thank you her way for making the red match her usual uniform.

Alex hasn't noticed her yet, toying with her phone and looking the other way. She turns her head towards Kara, and her smile lights up Kara's morning, as usual. She raises an arm and waves, as if she isn't the only person Kara sees, and walks to meet her.

"Great jacket." Alex takes in Kara's look, checking her out fairly unashamedly.

Kara smirks. "Well, a friend of mine got me to appreciate leather jackets a little more." 

"Oh really?" Alex says. "Well, whoever that friend is, she must have _excellent_ fashion sense."

"Oh, she does. Absolutely impeccable. Maybe I'll get Winn to add one to my suit."

Alex clutches at her chest dramatically. _"Be still my heart."_

Kara smirks and links her arm with Alex to start them walking. "I prefer to keep it racing."

Alex stutters something, a blush growing across her cheeks. The aviators don't do much to hide it. "...And you called _me_ a quick learner."

Kara grins. "Well, we can learn together, right?"

"Y'know, I'm trying to decide if that was meant as suggestive flirting, or just something genuine and heartfelt."

Kara plucks the aviators from Alex's face and puts them on herself. "It's all about the balance, baby."

Alex snorts a laugh and shoves Kara's shoulder.

They walk in silence for a whole street, before Kara notices Alex staring at her, a curious look on her face. "What?" she asks, grinning. "Is there something on my cheek?"

"No, it's just..." Alex pauses. Hesitates. "You look really different with sunglasses on."

Oh, _shoot_.

"You kinda remind me of someone else, but I can't work out who."

Kara resists the urge to yelp in panic. She also resists the urge to throw the glasses off immediately, or to take them off and hand them back. Or to look away. Any of those would be way too suspicious.

Okay. Think. There's got to be some way to laugh this off without being obvious about the internal nightmare happening in her head right now.

"Supergirl?"

 _Crap_ , she's been quiet for too long. 

Say something. 

Anything!

She settles for a snort. "Yeah. You've caught me, Agent Danvers. Turns out my ultra-high-tech civilian disguise is a pair of cheap sunglasses. Shoot, there goes my secret identity."

Alex scoffs, offended. "Cheap? _Excuse_ you! Those cost me $7.95 at one of those spinny mall booth things!"

Kara laughs and takes the sunglasses off, ignoring the way her fingers shake the tiniest bit as she hands them back to Alex. "Well then, I suppose they should be worn by someone with a true appreciation of their value."

Alex puts the sunglasses back on, adjusting them until they sit properly on her face. "Damn straight."

"Which we are not." Kara can't help it.

"Nooooo." Alex groans. "Not you too!"

_ _ _

Kara fidgets a little in her booth. It's odd, being here as Supergirl. There are a few glances from the other patrons, but it's early enough in the morning that most of them are focused on their cups of coffee rather than on the superhero in the booth.

She buries her face further into the menu, pretending that she doesn't know exactly what she's going to--

Wait.

She can't order the Kara Danvers Special.

If she orders the exact same thing that Kara orders, it'll be suspicious! (Even though everything she orders is objectively all the best things on the menu in what is objectively-speaking the perfect amounts of each one). She needs to come up with an alternate order. 

Okay. 

If she... 

Maybe if she doesn't get the waffles, and gets extra pancakes instead? 

But the waffles are so _good_!

Oh, Rao, this is impossible.

"You okay over there?" Alex asks, and Kara drops the menu in front of herself to give Alex a distressed look.

"Everything looks so good!" she whines, petulantly. It all looks good and she can't get her favourite order.

Alex laughs and reaches over the table to take Kara's hand. Her fingers play with the finger loops of her Supergirl uniform a little, and Kara blushes.

"So, I wasn't sure if I should tell you this, but...my sister always gets what every waitress here has come to call the Kara Danvers Special." Alex smiles fondly. "It's way too much food for any reasonable person to eat, but her metabolism has always been kinda unreal. And it's got a little bit of pretty much everything. So if you're not sure what to try, and if you're hungry, you could always go for that?"

_How is Alex the perfect woman?_

Kara tries not to look too eager as she nods. "Okay! That sounds good, yeah."

The waitress, a girl Kara knows called Claire, comes around a few minutes later.

"Hey Alex, hey Ka--" She trails off as she looks at Supergirl. Properly looks at her. "Oh!"

Alex frowns, and Kara tries her best not to panic (again).

"I'm so sorry, I saw you from behind and I figured since you were with Alex you must be--" Claire freezes. "Wait ...Are you..."

Kara opens her jacket a little, showing off the sigil on her chest as she tries not to panic too much. "The one and only. Well. Not counting my fake clone a few months ago."

"Oh my god. Oh my god. You're. Oh my god." Claire's eyes dart to Alex as if the woman has grown a second head. Finding out one of your regulars knows a superhero is a bit of a paradigm shift, Kara supposes. Seeing that regular with one of her hands still interlinked with that Superhero's has to be even more surprising. (Imagine how she'd feel to know one of her regulars _is_ a superhero?) "Can I get your autogr-- can I take your order? On the house, I promise."

"I'd say you don't have to, but...I've run into that offer enough times at this point that I know you'll stick to your guns. Just this _once_ , okay? And yes, you can absolutely have an autograph." Kara smiles. "Alex recommended me the Kara Danvers Special? She said it had a bit of everything. And, uh...a strawberry shake?"

Alex is staring intently at Kara. 

Too intently. 

Claire nods, writing it down with a slightly shaky hand. "A-and you, Alex?"

She shifts away from whatever seems to be bothering her. "Hey Claire. I'll have my usual? And...extra coffee? I'm kinda out of it this morning."

Claire beams and nods again. "That'll be out in a jiffy! Oh, god, I don't know why I said jiffy. It'll be out soon! Okay. Um. I'll be back!"

She scampers off, a bounce in her step, and if Alex wasn't acting so oddly and staring so much, Kara would probably laugh or smile about it.

As it is, Kara's brow furrows as she tries to figure out what she can say to make this less awkward - less dangerous.

Alex tilts her head. "You know, when you're thinking hard about something, you get this little crinkle between your eyes that's exactly like Kara's."

Said crinkle deepens as Kara tries to fight the panic that _that_ particular sentence evokes.

"...Weird, huh?"

"Y-yeah! That's really weird. I can't say I've noticed it before - I'll have to keep an eye out. Y'know. Next time we see each other." She bites her lip, trying to think of a way to push any suspicion away from herself, and probably making her crinkle even more obvious. "I've never seen you get that crinkle either. Guessing it isn't a familial trait?"

Alex blinks, surprised, and that seems to shake her from her reverie and whatever realisation she was way, _way_ too close to reaching. "Kara never told you she's adopted? Or...wait. Didn't _I_ tell you that the first night we went out for drinks?"

Kara's eyes widen. Oh, shoot. She did!

"Right! You did. I'm sorry, I totally blanked on that. Aldabaran rum hits me hard." She's not exactly lying when she says that. "I remember now. I'm sorry."

"Eh, it's okay. Neither one of us was the _most_ sober that night."

Kara nods and ducks her head down, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "I mean, it explains how you two look different, but I suppose I always just figured that you and her..."

"It's okay - a lot of people think we're too close to be adopted sisters."

Too close.

Kara swallows. Looks down at the table.

Yeah.

Right.

"My parents adopted her when she was thirteen. Her parents had..." Alex looks away; rubs the back of her neck. "...I suppose that's a story for her to tell, not me. We took her in. At first, I kind of...resented her, if I'm being honest."

Kara can't help but rush to Alex's defence. "I mean, I'm sure you didn't want a surprise new sister dropped on your lap. Especially not one who was struggling so much with Ear---verything."

"No, I didn't." Alex concedes. "But...now, I'm really glad she showed up. I don't know what my life would be like without her."

"I mean, she yelled at me to get my butt in gear about you." Kara gives a weak grin. "So I'm pretty thankful for her."

"Yeah. Me too." Alex looks around the diner. "If I hadn't met her, I'd probably be sitting here alone right now."

Kara swallows, fingers fidgeting with her free sleeve, and she squeezes Alex's hand in support. "Come on; give yourself some credit. Maybe you'd be here with an even prettier girl."

Alex smiles at her, far too softly, and Kara knows she's said the wrong thing. 

Not because it'll make things awkward, but because she knows Alex is about to say something heartfelt and make Kara fall even more deeply.

"I doubt any other girl could be as wonderful as you."

_ _ _

Alex is finishing off her coffee, and Kara is signing a napkin with the sigil of the House of El and a transliteration of _Supergirl_ in Kryptonian, when Alex's phone beeps.

Kara almost rushes to pull her phone out of her boot, but she sees Alex already has her own out of her jacket pocket, and realises that it's not her DEO phone that beeped. She goes back to focusing on her signature. If they're just messaging Alex, not Kara, it can't be any big emergencies, right?

When she looks up from the napkin again, Alex looks stoic. An expression Kara has lovingly dubbed her _work face_.

"What's up? An attack?"

"No! Nothing like that. What makes you think it's an attack?"

"You've got your work face on." Kara points across Alex's face to demonstrate.

"Y'know, Kara says the exact same thing." Alex smiles fondly. "But, uh. No. Apparently a lab tech messed with one of my pieces of research, and he either broke something or fixed something. So I figure when I get in there to check on it and reprimand him, I'm either gonna be really angry, or I'm gonna be pretty angry while also being secretly impressed. Can't let the recruits know I have feelings, y'know."

Kara laughs and nods. "Rao forfend."

" _Forfend?_ Damn, Stargirl."

Alex climbs from her booth, slipping her phone into her pocket and unfolding her sunglasses. "Sorry to run so soon, but..."

Kara waves off the apology with a napkin, climbing from her seat. "I know how work is. Honestly, I'm mostly surprised we didn't get called to interrupt a bank robbery or an alien invasion halfway through my first waffle." She catches Claire's eye and waves the autograph-laden napkin towards her with a grin. Claire looks like she might faint.

Alex's phone beeps twice more, then another time for good measure. She grumbles. "Okay, I've really gotta go before they blow up my whole lab. I'll, uh, see you at work later?"

She seems to linger for a moment, and Kara suddenly realises what exactly is causing the hesitation.

PDA.

What do they do here?

Do they shake hands? Do they hug? Do-- do they _kiss_?

Are they still closeted? Oh, Rao, Kara hasn't even thought about exactly what it means to be not-straight. She's been so busy with the crisis over it being _Alex_ that the fact that Alex is a _girl_ and Kara's meant to be _straight_ barely even registered.

She can see the same exact thoughts passing through Alex's mind. Feels her pulse rising; sees her back stiffen as tension and anxiety rock through her.

A pair of baby queer women go to a diner and have an emotional breakdown about how to say goodbye.

 _Yeah,_ Kara thinks to herself. That tracks.

"Whatever you're comfortable with, Supergirl" Alex murmurs, too quiet for anyone without superhearing to hear and too subtle to lipread. "I'll follow your lead."

Kara nods, taking a breath to relax herself. To prepare herself.

Then she steps forwards and hugs Alex.

Alex releases a shaky breath and wraps her arms around Kara's waist, burrowing against her. "You smell nice."

"I'll send you a link to the perfume I wear," Kara says, and _feels_ Alex's nose wrinkle against her shoulder. She laughs. Takes a risk, and presses a kiss to Alex's cheek. "Okay. I'll see you later."

The two step away from each other, and Alex plays awkwardly with her hair before giving a stiff nod. "See you."

She passes Kara by, walking out, and Kara lifts her autographed napkin to walk over to Claire.

Claire's looking at her.

Kara does her best to pointedly ignore any sort of meaning within that look, and slides the napkin across the counter. "Hey there. Thank you so much for the breakfast, it was amazing."

Claire picks up the napkin and looks at the autograph written on it. She beams, and Kara finds her heart being warmed as well. Part of her has always been on-edge about the celebrity that comes with being Supergirl, but seeing such genuine joy around her? It's nice.

"Well, I mean, it's not often a superhero comes into this diner for a date."

Subtle, Claire. Extremely subtle. Kara rolls her eyes. "Alex and I work together. She wanted to buy me breakfast."

Claire zips her lips with a gesture. "I didn't say anything!"

"Well, good."

There's a moment of hesitation before Claire comically unzips her lips. "Okay, but, I couldn't help but notice how...comfortable Alex seemed around you. I've only seen her look like that when she's getting breakfast with her sister. She seemed happy. And she's enough of a regular here that I like seeing her happy." Claire's expression softens. "So...whether you two are friends, or work colleagues, or whatever else, I'm glad she has someone who makes her look that free."

Someone _else_ who makes her look that free. The _someone other than Kara_ goes unspoken. Kara feels her smile stiffen, just a little, and she thinks this might be what humans talk about when they say they feel like they're sucking on a lemon.

Because in the end, she's still just one person. Alex hasn't found someone new. She's just seeing the person closest to her in a different way.

Claire seems to notice the shift in Kara's posture, and she frowns. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry or make you uncomfortable or--"

"No, no!" Kara rushes to respond. "It's okay. You didn't say anything wrong. I just...worry, y'know?"

Well, here goes.

"You say I make her happy, but she doesn't really know anything about me. She doesn't know my name or who I am or what I do when I'm not being Supergirl. And I just...I worry that I can't offer enough."

Claire laughs, a little. Completely incredulous. "Y'know, when I started work today I did not expect to be hearing about the insecurities of Supergirl."

"Sorry." Kara grimaces.

"No, no, it's good!!" Claire gives a half-shrug and lifts the napkin, looking at the autograph on it. "I love all you do for the city, and I have a major case of hero-worship for you, but like...it's great to know that you're still a person, y'know? You're a woman with hopes and fears and worries like anyone else. You get anxious when someone likes you, just like everyone else."

Claire looks at her. Really looks at her, with a thoughtful expression and the tiniest frown on her features.

"But trust me. Everything's gonna be okay. Because - because you're _Supergirl_!" Claire gesticulates the emphasise her statement, and it reminds Kara a little of herself. "You have _so_ much to offer to the world, and to anyone you choose to call your friend. And I hope you can see that, the way the rest of us do."

_ _ _

The gates to the DEO open and Kara slides through them, flicking her leather jacket to one side as she hums along with the song playing on her phone. The sun is shining, her crops are flourishing, there are no more Keltorian Hound alerts to worry about, and the investigation will be over soon. And the sun is shining. She wishes she'd held on to Alex's cheap sunglasses.

"Agent Wainwright, Agent Lohani," she greets the two guards on the front door, shooting each of them a fingergun as she passes by. 

"Supergirl," she hears, muffled through the headphones.

She bounces past them, dancing her way to the elevator and swaying from side to side as she waits. It dings open. "Hey Vasquez!" The Agent stands to attention as Kara steps in, bouncing on her toes in the confined space and humming.

"Ma'am," Vasquez responds, but there's the hint of a smile on their face. "Have a good morning?"

"Went to a really great diner!" is her only explanation. The doors slide open and Kara slides out, snapping her fingers as she struts through the halls. "Agent McAvoy, Agent Dallas! How's the leg?"

Dallas gives a half-shrug. "Not too bad, ma'am. Director Hensh--J'onzz says I have to be on desk duty for a few weeks, but I keep telling him I'm fine."

Kara stops her bouncing for a moment to pat him sympathetically on the shoulder. "Paperwork. Ugh. I do _not_ envy you."

Dallas laughs in disbelief and shoots her a rude gesture. She just gives him a pair of thumbs-up, and backs her way into the Ops Center.

The military investigators are milling around in the open, for once. Not hiding away in their soundproofed side room. Colonel Tucker stops whatever he was talking about and nods at Kara.

"Colonel."

"Supergirl."

Not even his presence will dampen her mood, though. She steps past him, making her way to the bank of computers which practically form Winn's home.

"Hey Winn!"

"Hey Superg--" he looks at her. "Nice jacket."

"I love it so much." Kara pulls out her headphones and strikes a pose. "Any news?"

"Hounds are settling in nicely." Winn switches to various feeds of their many, many full containment cells. "Lucy's setting up a habitat for them over at the Desert Base. The Keltorian might be a criminal, but his Hounds? They're just big, scary dogs. We can't release them, but...we're hoping we might be able to set something up that's better than a dozen magnetised cells."

Kara stares at one of the camera feeds. She watches one of the hounds pace around, and feels a spike of sympathy and affection for it.

"...Can I-"

" _No,_ you cannot adopt one."

Supergirl scoffs. "What? I totally wasn't going to ask that!" She totally was.

Winn gives her a look.

"Okay, yes, fine, I was totally going to ask that. But why can't I?"

"I mean, for a start, they're more than 8 feet long and weigh half a ton."

"I'll reinforce my flooring." Kara counters.

"Secondly, it would be _incredibly_ illegal."

"I'll adopt it."

"Third, there are no forms for legally adopting alien pets."

"I'll push legislation through." Kara counters that, too.

"And fourth, they are quite literally _made of knives_ , why would you _ever_ adopt that?"

Kara grumbles under her breath about being able to knifeproof her apartment.

She could totally do it.

Winn gives a long-suffering sigh. "Once we've got the habitat set up I'll get you a visitor's pass."

Yes! Kara hugs Winn from behind. "Yay! You're the best, Winn."

"Yeah, yeah." Winn leans against the hug even as he waves her statement off. "Go on, I know you've got other places to be."

"Places to be?" Kara asks, all innocence.

He looks over his shoulder to give her a Look. "Do you really, really want me to answer that?"

"Right, okay, going!" She backs away, holding her hands up in surrender... before heading towards Alex's lab. Sue her.

(Don't actually sue her, J'onn says there are already too many lawsuits filed against Supergirl for petty things like _property damage_ and _reckless endangement_ and things like that.)

(She's helping!)

Kara twists her headphones around her hand a few times, taking a moment to admire Agent Danvers at work before she slips them into her jacket pocket. "Morning, Alex."

Alex glances up from whatever project she's got going, and a wide smile crosses her face as she looks at Kara. "Hey there. I'm glad you came in."

Kara shrugs as Alex goes back to looking down a microscope. "Well, y'know, there's an agent I wanted to see. You might know them, their name's Winn?"

Alex makes an affronted noise and smacks Kara lightly in the side. "Rude!"

Kara grins and, after a cursory check to make sure no one else is around, leans in to press a kiss against Alex's cheek. 

Alex flushes bright red and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear as she resolutely stares down the microscope. Pretending to be unaffected.

"So, how's the research? Broken beyond repair, or fixed and revolutionary?"

Alex sighs. "Neither, actually. I'd been worried the primary enzyme might have unbonded from the substructure, and I'd hoped it might have encouraged a pseudo-valency effect, but it looks like the lab tech just kind of...jiggled it a little."

"Jiggled."

"It's a very scientific term and you know it, Supergirl."

"Right, right. Of course." Kara grins at Alex for a few seconds, before her eyes flick down to the microscope. "...Tell me about it."

Alex pauses. "Seriously?"

"Seriously. We're always on the same side when we're fighting, and we train together, but when you're working, I feel like I don't ask about it enough. I just think of it as _Alex's science stuff_." Kara wrings her hands together. "But...I want to know about what you're passionate about. If. If you want to share it."

This definitely, absolutely isn't a resurfacing of her guilt over Alex not feeling she had the room to grow and find her sexuality until a few weeks ago.

Better late than never, right?

Alex seems to think about it for a few heavy moments.

"I'm sorry, this was all so weird, please forget I even asked, that's--"

"Sure."

Kara stops her rambling apology. "S-Sure?"

"Yeah. Sure." Alex looks up from the microscope and gives Kara a soft, patient smile. "You're a super-genius, anyway. I'm sure you'll be able to keep up with anything I talk about."

"I dunno," Kara jokes. "You said _valency_ a minute ago and I went all cross-eyed."

"Well then," Alex says, smoothly. "I'll be sure to search for any other words and phrases that make you go cross-eyed."

Kara chokes on air, and Alex laughs. Damn it, she has way too much fun flustering Kara.

"Okay, so..." Alex clears her throat, and Kara leans against the table to prepare for whatever explanation Alex is about to give.

Or, rather, she would be preparing for that, if her superhearing didn't pick up something else from the other side of the DEO.

Military boots in the hallway. Marching.

Colonel Tucker.

_"Target is in the laboratories. We must consider her armed and very dangerous."_

Armed and dangerous? What?!

_"Force is authorised, but I'd prefer to do this quietly."_

The sound of a pistol slide being pulled back. A bullet in a chamber.

_"Sergeant Moore? You have permission to arrest Agent Danvers on suspicion of aiding a terrorist organisation."_

No.

No.

Rao, no. Absolutely not. There's no way they can do this. Not _again._

Alex trails off. "Did you hear a word I just said?"

"We have to get you out of here. Now." Kara's panicked. Frantic. The footsteps are getting closer. "They're going to arrest you."

Alex's eyes widen. "What?"

"The investigators. Tucker. They think you-- they're going to--"

No. There's no time. There's no way out. If she gets Alex out, they'll use that as evidence of her guilt just like last time. Last time. She can't...she can't go through this again. Breaking Alex and J'onn out with Lucy had been one thing, but this? She doesn't know what to do.

"I don't know what to do."

"Supergirl. Supergirl, calm down, okay? Tell me what's going on."

"There's no time, Alex. They're coming, and if we run then they'll just say you're guilty again, and I can't...I can't live with that happening all over again."

The door opens.

She's too late.

They're out of time.

"Agent Danvers?" the lead soldier says - Sergeant Moore, Kara presumes. 

Kara takes a slow breath and turns to face the doorway.

He glances at Supergirl, surprised to see her there too, and there's a brief flicker of fear. Fear of what she'd do to protect Alex, no doubt. Good.

He steps into the room, and another five soldiers follow him in - Tucker included. They have their weapons holstered, but Kara knows they're loaded. Knows they're ready for a fight.

Tucker opens his mouth to say his next words - the damning words Kara can't bear to ever, ever hear again.

And before he even says the first word, something deep inside her snaps.

**No.**

Kara is _not_ letting some two-bit jumped-up colonel with a god complex arrest her sister _again_.

"Agent Alexandra Danvers, you are under arrest under suspicion of aiding and abetting--"

"I did it." Kara blurts out, and everyone freezes.

The room falls silent, save for the noise of Alex's lab machinery whirring away.

"Excuse me?" Clark Tucker is the first to find his words.

Kara swallows, hard. Some day she'll think before she speaks. Not today, but...some day.

"Alex doesn't know anything about what you're here for."

She keeps her words vague as she takes one step towards the soldiers, then another. She and everyone else know why Tucker is _really_ here, but she also knows the fake reasons he was about to arrest Alex for. She knows what she needs to imply.

"But I do."

Alex surges forwards. "Supergirl, you can't seriously--"

Kara turns to face Alex, ignoring the half-dozen guns that get drawn on the two of them at Alex's sudden movement. "Alex. Please." She stares into Alex's eyes for a moment. Cups her cheek. "Please, just..." 

_Trust me_ , she wants to say. But that...that would undermine the confession she's trying to make. She just hopes her eyes convey that well enough.

Alex takes a deep, shuddering breath. And nods.

Kara takes one of Alex's hands between her own and kisses the back of it. "Everything's gonna be okay. Promise."

She turns back around, to face the metaphorical (and possibly literal) firing squad.

"I know the truth." Kara meets the Colonel's eyes, daring him to see what she's saying. She's one of only two people in the world who could give him what he really came here to find out, and it's on offer.

Her identity.

"Take me to an interrogation room." Kara says, voice steady.

"I'll tell you everything you want to know."


	14. Nowhere Left to Hide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Two chapters in two days. I, um. I don't really know what happened here? I just woke up this morning and proceeded to write an entire chapter like it was nothing, after spending two months stuck on the last chapter. So. Uh._
> 
> _~Queer fanfiction double feature?~_

And she'd been having such a nice day.

Sergeant Moore sets up the video camera on its tripod. Kara stares at the blinking red light on the front of it.

She doesn't pay any real attention to Colonel Tucker sliding his chair out, legs scraping on the concrete floor with a loud, sickening noise.

He takes a seat, but she's still just looking at the camera. Miles away.

How is she going to get out of this?

Back in the lab, rushing to Alex's defence...it had been second nature. But now she's here. Now she's in the lion's den, and she's starting to realise she doesn't know the way out.

"Please state your name for the purposes of the recording."

Blink. Blink. Blink.

She tilts her head a little.

Tucker clears his throat. "Please state--"

"Supergirl," she says, flatly, and turns to look at him.

Clark half-laughs, and attempts a smile. It comes out more like a grimace. "Perhaps I wasn't quite clear. State your _real_ name for the purposes of the recording."

And there it is. Honestly, she expected him to wait a little longer before diving right in.

But, she supposes, this was his plan. Threaten Alex. Leverage Supergirl's affections.

"Why did you think Alex was working for Cadmus?" she asks, instead of answering.

"I don't think you're quite in the right position to be askin me anything right now, Supergirl." He laces his fingers together, leaning forwards at his table. "We're the ones here to question you, not the other way around."

"I mean, my words are conditional." Kara gives a shrug, feigning nonchalance. "If you don't have anything on me or her, I might as well just stay quiet."

Tucker's eye twitches, and he smile-grimaces again. "Fine. I'll play your game."

She tilts her head again, crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back in her chair. She's listening.

"My suspicions were piqued when we realised just how much of her memory had been blocked. At first, I assumed that she simply had a closer connection to Supergirl than most other people at the DEO. But following deeper questioning, I realised that the information that was blocked seemed...inconsistent, from simply being related to Supergirl. It dated back years, further than your reveal to the world."

He's lying.

Not about her having more memories blocked, but...they're all linked to Supergirl. Kara is linked with every part of Alex's life. Of course the blocks went back further. Kara shrugs. "So?"

"So, at first I assumed that she'd simply had contact with you for longer than you'd been publicly working as Supergirl. A friend, perhaps, or an emergency asset for classified DEO operations."

She doesn't like his emphasis on the word _friend_ , there.

"But then it hit me." He taps the table twice, a more genuine grin crossing his features. "The blocks seemed to go back to around the time of Jeremiah Danvers' disappearance - and he is a known associate of Cadmus."

"Presumed death," Kara corrects. "Not disappearance."

"Right, of course." Tucker waves off her correction, and keeps powering forwards. He's on a roll now. "But I realised that the reason why I couldn't find any traitors at the DEO was because of the memory wipe. Following Director J'onzz's installation of mental blocks, it would be child's play for an organisation such as Cadmus to extend the blocks on one of their operatives. To a cursory analysis, it would look the same as every other agent's block. But in truth, it would mask a traitor."

Kara blinks. 

He can't be serious. Right? This has to be an elaborate excuse to get at Kara's identity.

Cadmus? Alex? Seriously?

"You think Alex works for _Cadmus_?"

Clark shrugs. "It makes sense, given the data we have. Jeremiah Danvers disappears and is recruited into Cadmus, and Agent Danvers's memories start to be altered and blocked. He could have been grooming her from the beginning."

Kara bares her teeth. "Alex spent years grieving Jeremiah, and you seriously think she knew he was alive from the start?!"

"You know a lot about Agent Danvers's youth, don't you?"

Damn it. Damn it, she walked into that. She curses a stream of words in Kryptonian in her head, and forces herself to calm down. Her temper is the thing that put Alex in Tucker's sightlines from the beginning. She can't give anything away again. She gives a noncommittal shrug, clenching her jaw to keep herself quiet. Returns her gaze to the camera. Watching it until she calms down.

Blink. Blink. Blink.

"But the point is," the Colonel continues, "viewed from that angle, things start to make a lot more sense. The intensity of the memory block. Her close connection to Jeremiah Danvers. The alleged meeting with a high-ranking member of Cadmus that she barely escaped with her life. Even her mysterious escape from the Cadmus escort, shortly before their breakaway from their position as military contractors."

Mysterious escape?

Oh, dang it. J'onn must have blocked the fact that Kara and Lucy had broken him and Alex out, to protect them. She hadn't even _thought_ of that.

"They couldn't allow one of their best agents to be sent to their own facility, after all. A breakout would be the only solution. The answer was obvious when it finally occurred to me." Clark shrugs again. "Alex Danvers is an agent of Cadmus."

"That's all wild theorising." Kara does her best to sound unimpressed.

"Yes, you're right, it is all very circumstantial." He gives a shrug. "But once she's arrested under terrorism charges, we'll be able to work harder to break through her mental blocks, and ascertain the truth."

Torture.

That's what he's saying.

He's going to torture and mess with Alex's head until J'onn's mental block shatters, and he gets the truth.

"You're going to arrest and torture her...because you think she _might_ be a terrorist?"

"Yes." Clark answers, flatly. Then leans forwards just a little more. "Unless, of course, you have some piece of evidence that would prove her innocence."

And there it is.

Create a circumstantial case against Alex, threaten her...all to get at this. What he really wants.

He's such an ass.

"Tell me what I want to know, Supergirl."

Her first instinct is to punch him.

Her second instinct is to tell him where he can go and shove all of his charges against Alex (and it isn't with a judge).

Her third instinct is to yell.

But she stamps all of that down. She can't keep rising to his bait. She needs to think. She needs to...

"Not yet," she says, and enjoys the way Clark's jaw clenches in anger. "If I'm going to tell you the truth, I want you to tell me the truth, too." She smiles. Places her palms on the table. "And we both know that for as elegant and pretty that little story about Alex was, it was just a story. You don't really believe any of it."

She glances to one guard, to the next, to the camera, back to Clark.

"It's a means to an end. So, how about you tell me what you're really doing, and then I'll tell you what you really want to know. Because we both know I'm not here to confess to being a secret terrorist."

Clark looks over his shoulder. Looks at the camera. And laughs. He gestures to one of the soldiers, and they step forwards. Press a button on the camcorder.

The red light turns off.

No more blinking.

"You seriously wanted me to walk into that? Confess while the camera's rolling, so you can take the footage and...I don't know, sell it to the Daily Planet?" He snorts. "You must seriously think I'm an idiot, Supergirl."

She just smiles. "Well, y'know, it was worth a shot. You never know how stupid you army types might be."

His face shifts. No more fake smiles, no more disguised grimaces. He shifts to an expression of raw loathing. "Tell me your name, and I won't arrest your pretty Agent girlfriend for the rest of her natural life."

Kara sees red. 

Lashes out.

She's across the table in less than half a second. 

She grabs the Colonel by his collar, dragging him out of his chair. The soldier behind him and the tripod get knocked over like a pair of bowling pins, and _oh, bowling, she should take Alex to that for their third date!_

He's pinned to the wall less than a second later, lifted off the ground by his formal, annoying uniform.

"Go to hell," she spits out, and totally ignores the sounds of guns being drawn in the rest of the room. What are they gonna do, shoot her?

Clark laughs, even as his face starts to redden from his collar digging into his throat. "There it is! There's the anger I knew was under the surface, you monster."

Her eyes flash a bright, brilliant blue, just for a moment. She feels the heat behind her gaze, threatening to burn through. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't snap your neck."

He makes a choking noise for a few moments, eyes rolling as his face continues to redden. "Because if you do that, you'll never see your girlfriend again."

She drops him to the floor.

He gasps in breath, adjusting and loosening his collar. Undoing his top button and wheezing in air like a faulty vacuum cleaner.

She backs away. Ignores the soldiers pointing guns at her, and walks back towards her seat. Picks up the tripod on her way and sets it back on its feet. Fumbles with it a little in her anger, her hands shaking too much to be stable. Then walks around to her side of the table and retakes her seat. She's breathing heavily. Fists clenching over and over like she wants to punch a hole in the wall.

Clark seems to have regained a little air. He's still red and a little teary-eyed, but his breathing's calmed down. He steps forwards. Picks up his own chair from the floor.

Then lifts it into the air and hits Kara in the face with it. The metal leg strikes her in the cheek.

Okay. She expected that, to be honest. She moves with the blow, just a little, and flexes her jaw. Not exactly painful, but a little uncomfortable.

She kind of deserved that.

"You really are an _idiot_ , aren't you? You assault a colonel, after already claiming responsibility for what Agent Danvers is accused of. You really don't understand how much trouble you're in, do you? You can't even begin to get it through your skull."

He shoves the chair to the floor again and sits down, leaning forwards and tapping the table to emphasise his words.

"You have no idea how tempted I am to arrest Agent Danvers anyway. To come up with a charge that you were both involved with Cadmus this whole time, just to make you _suffer_. But no. She's a good insurance policy."

He glowers at her, adjusting his collar again and clearing his throat.

She doesn't meet the intensity of his gaze, looking around the room instead. Half a dozen soldiers pointing guns at her. The camera light, blinking steadily. The P.S.I, forgotten in a corner. Kara can't even remember what it stands for any more.

"Now. You're going to tell me your real name. And we're going to use it to keep you on a short leash, doing exactly what we want when we want you to. No more unaccountable superheroics. And you're going to do it because otherwise I'm going to throw Agent Danvers into Gitmo myself."

Kara looks down at the table. Utterly defeated. "There never was a tech leak, was there?"

"Of course there was." Tucker smirks, slow and predatory. "It was easy enough to sell a few alien weapons to a few interested buyers. Just enough to ring some alarms, and start the investigation rolling."

Him.

Of course it was him.

She looks up, betrayed. He's been playing them from the start, and she walked into it all. Every last trap he laid.

"Tell me your name, Supergirl."

She leans forwards in her chair. "I've got a better idea."

Half a dozen guns cock, just in case she was about to try attacking him again.

And, in a split second, her expression shifts from anger, and loathing, to the brightest smile she can muster.

She super-speeds around the table, grabbing the camcorder from its tripod and lifting it up. Walking around the table with it. And pointing it directly at Colonel Tucker's face.

"Why don't you tell me _your_ name?"

The red light flashes at him.

Blink. Blink. Blink.

His eyes widen in slow, horrified realisation.

"Smile, Clark. You're on camera."

_ _ _

Kara's hands are shaking.

She isn't with everyone else as they watch the military march out of the DEO with their tails between their legs.

She can hear them leaving, and can hear the celebrations of Winn and Vasquez and Alex and everyone else. She can hear J'onn hugging Alex.

But she can't see it. Because she's in the restroom, hands shaking as she stares into the mirror.

She can't believe she just did that. 

Any of that.

She beat them. She beat Tucker and the military and their witch hunt for her real name.

She also assaulted a colonel, but she's trying not to think too hard about that part.

In the Ops Center, she hears Winn announce that he's going to be putting the recording on the big screen, and that someone should've brought popcorn. 

The recording starts up, just after she'd let Tucker's collar go.

A feint. If she'd wanted to attack him, or intimidate him, she'd have done it.

She'd just known she needed to get that camera back on, without anyone seeing.

There's the clanging sound of the chair striking her face, and there's a collective "Ooh!" of pain from the DEO.

"Wow, that guy's an ass," Winn remarks.

She takes a breath, then dips her head low to splash water over her face. Calming herself down before she steps back out into the DEO.

Immediately, there's a clamouring around her.

Khatri and McAvoy let out a whoop as she steps into view, and she laughs. Lohani hugs her. Vasquez gives a salute so loose and free it borders on insubordinate.

And in the back, Alex smiles at her so softly and tenderly Kara feels like her heart might burst.

"Come on, losers--" Winn catches the glare of J'onn. "--I mean, respected agents of the DEO. Celebrate with Supergirl later, we gotta watch her roast a fool and you're all missing it!"

The crowd surges back to the ops center. Alex hangs back, meandering over to Kara as they both get settled in the back of the group.

"The camera was pretty smart thinking," Alex says, quietly. "I can't wait to see what you did. From Winn's reactions, it seems pretty good."

"Winn gets excited over ads for graphics cards."

Alex laughs, quietly, and bumps shoulders with Kara.

"Smile, Clark. You're on camera."

Alex stiffens slightly, next to Kara, and her next words come out as a whispered rush. "Okay. I didn't know your voice could do that, and I'm a fan."

Kara grins and throws a wink Alex's way, before they refocus on the recording.

Tucker's face is shifting and contorting in frankly comical ways.

"You - that - get that camera off her!"

There's a juddering and the camera angle is abruptly in the corner of the room. Super-sped. The frame rate couldn't keep up with it.

"You know, I really think I'd rather hold on to it." Kara points the camera at each of the soldiers in turn. "Come on! Smile, boys!"

"Supergirl," Clark begins. "I don't know what you think you're doing, but--"

"Threatening you," Kara interrupts. "The thing that I'm doing right now? It's threatening you."

"You want to blackmail a colonel."

The camera moves in a shrugging motion. "Blackmail is such an ugly word." She turns the camera around to face her and looks into it. "Isn't that right? It's such an ugly word. We don't use that word around here."

Tucker sneers. "You can go f--"

"We don't use that word around here, either."

He falls silent, glaring, and Kara uses that as permission to keep talking.

"Now. I've got a recording of you...admitting you planned on arresting an innocent woman. And then, admitting you sold weapons and information to criminals and terrorists, all to try and control me." Kara zooms the camera, shakily, in on Clark's face. "Does that about sum up the situation okay?"

Clark sneers in response.

"The answer to that is yes, for the record, he just doesn't wanna say it in case this is me bluffing. It isn't me bluffing, by the way."

One of the soldiers makes a rush for her, and she superspeeds to the other side of the room. He stumbles and slams into the wall.

"Nope, nope, don't do that."

"What do you want from me?" Clark says, low and dangerous.

"I want you to leave my city. I want you to leave my friends and my coworkers alone. I want you to tell your superiors that the leak came from Cadmus, not from the DEO. And I want you to retire young. Maybe move to somewhere like Alabama or Albuquerque or Austin. Somewhere beginning with A. And I never want to see your face again."

"You want me to retire." Clark sneers. "You can't be serious."

"Oh, I am. Because if you don't? If you don't, then President Marsdin will find this particular video on her desk tomorrow morning." She turns the camera around again to face herself. "She's a friend of mine, you know." Flips it back. "Then you'll be arrested for treason for _sure_."

Alex leans in close to Kara's ear. "Have I ever mentioned how much of a fan I am of you threatening people?"

Kara giggles.

"How do you know that the President didn't order me to do all of this? Maybe she's the one who wants to keep you under control."

Kara makes an unimpressed noise. "Ehhh, I doubt it. And even if she did, which I doubt, then she'd have to throw you under the bus since I know the truth."

There's a gunshot.

And Kara is holding a bullet, three inches from the front of the camera lens.

"Really?" Kara asks the soldier who fired his gun. "You're seriously going to try and shoot the camera to break it? Wow, this is a whole 'nother level."

She flicks the bullet lightly across the room. It hits Clark in the shoulder, but the camera doesn't pick up that level of detail. Kara just knows it did. That will be a fond memory for her.

"If President Marsdin didn't arrest you for treason, then I'd deliver a copy of this to the desk of Cat Grant. She's a friend of mine, too. You might have heard of her. People call her the Queen of All Media. And she would _love_ a scandal like this."

Clark's expression falls from its look of disgust to an expression of seemingly genuine fear. "You can't be serious."

"Oh, I am!" Kara nods the camera dramatically, to emphasise her statement. "You've threatened Alex. You've upset my people. You've upset _me_. So you're going to get out, and you're going to retire. Or I am going to make sure that this recording, and this truth of what you did here, will _ruin_ your life."

She super-speeds once more. To the door, this time.

"This is your final offer." Her voice loses some of its levity. Growing more serious. "If you say no, I'll be in D.C. within the hour. Retirement, treason, or scandal and infamy? Take your pick, Clark."

Colonel Clark Tucker dips his head. Considers his options. Then nods.

"Retirement."

"Good choice!" she says, all cheer again. She opens the door behind her, and the noise of the DEO returns to the soundproofed interrogation room. "Now get the hell out of my city before I kick you out."

The recording ends, and Winn lets out a low whistle.

"Girl?" He turns his chair to look at Kara, and gives her a bright grin. "That was the coolest thing I have ever seen."

_ _ _

The atmosphere is too celebratory for much work to be done, after that. They're still monitoring for anything that might need any superheroics, of course, but with the investigation over and with Winn's impromptu showing of Kara's blackmail tape and the general atmosphere relaxing for the first time in weeks, it's hard to get people to focus.

Winn almost puts _Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead_ on the DEO comm network, before a harsh look from J'onn and a reminder from Alex that the network is for operations and communication, not Spotify.

Winn whines. "Just this once?"

Kara is about to speak up to tell him that pushing things at his new job might not be the best choice. But J'onn beats her to the punch.

"Just this once," he says. 

Winn's mouth falls open. "Wait. Seriously?"

"Seriously." He pauses, then seems to consider something. "You get one song. So choose wisely."

_That_ makes Winn freeze. "O-one song? Oh no."

Half an hour later, he's still sitting there, staring at his Spotify playlist in indecision. Occasionally, Kara hears him murmuring things like "It has to be perfect" and "You only get one chance at this, Schott".

Kara's just escaped a deep conversation with Agent McAvoy about masking emotions and creating a more genuine performance (apparently, he's works in a pop-up theater in his spare time. Go figure!) and pats Winn on the shoulder as she passes by.

Something seems to occur to Vasquez, and they look up from where they've been flicking elastic bands at the side of Winn's head. Looking towards J'onn. "Sir?"

"Hmm?"

"Since the investigation's over now, does that mean we're going to get our memories back?" they ask, casually. "Supergirl's name keeps itching in the back of my mind."

Kara freezes up.

Her name.

The investigation's over.

The block can be removed now. They can remember who she is.

_Alex_ can remember who she is.

She's not ready.

Kara feels like she's probably breathing erratically. If J'onn responds at all, she doesn't hear it. She just hears her pulse pounding in her ears. She can't do this. She isn't ready.

She opens her mouth, to say something. Anything. To ask for more time. To ask for privacy, for her to be able to reveal it to people gently in private. To ask for the truth to never come out, even. To live a lie instead of facing this.

But before she can say anything, before she can tell J'onn and Vasquez and Winn that she needs more time, Alex is there.

"Supergirl. Can I talk to you for a sec? I know it's your party and all, so catching you's been pretty tough."

Kara makes a vague croaking noise.

Alex frowns and places a hand gently on Kara's arm. "Hey. You okay?"

Another croak. This one might be a no.

"Hey. Hey, it's alright. What's the matter?"

"Memory block," she manages to say, in something vaguely approximating English.

Alex frowns, and steps a little closer to comfort Kara. It doesn't help right now. It just makes things worse. "Are you still scared that it'll change things?"

The croaking makes its triumphant return. This one's pretty clearly a _yes_ , though.

"I promise you, everything is going to be fine. I'm crazy about you, Supergirl, and finding out your name isn't gonna change that."

Yes, it will. It will change everything. Alex just doesn't know it yet, and Kara just needs to _say_ something so she can explain that. She needs to work out how to explain any of this. Explain how things got so messed-up and how she fell so deep, so fast.

But how is she meant to explain when she doesn't really understand it herself?

A few weeks ago she thought she was straight, but now? Now, she's falling for her sister. And Alex is about to find out.

Alex's fingers move to brush a strand of hair from Kara's face, and Kara abruptly realises they're still in the middle of the DEO. Winn and Vasquez are easily within earshot. Another dozen agents can probably see them.

No. They're seeing Alex and her...no, this is hurting everything even more. She's just breaking everything. They're _seeing Alex_ , Alex is gonna freak out, they need to leave right now.

"I mean, no matter who you are, could that really change what you did for me today?" Alex laughs, bright and free. "You saved me. I was going to be _arrested_ , and you saved me from that. You risked your own freedom, your own identity, for me."

Alex smiles, and strokes her fingers over Kara's cheek.

"You saved me. And that's..." Alex bites her lip. "...that's one of the reasons I fell in love with you. Your name doesn't matter to me."

Kara's breath catches halfway between a gasp and a sob, and Alex kisses her.

Kisses her. In the DEO. In the open. 

In front of everyone.

Kara's lips are still, and she's frozen up. She doesn't know what to say. What to do. How to react.

Alex pulls away from the kiss after a moment, frowning at the lack of any response from Kara. "Sorry, that was... I should've asked if that was okay, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable, I just thought..."

"My name's Kara," Kara croaks.

Alex frowns. 

Confused. 

She half-laughs. "That's weird. Kara, huh? Okay, it's a bit weird that you've got the same name as my sister, but--"

Then she stops.

"No. No, that doesn't make any sense. You and she were--" 

She rubs her forehead. 

"This-this is a _joke_ , right? This is you making a weird joke, and J'onn's gonna come over in a minute and give me my memories back, and--"

She searches for something in Kara's expression that would tell her it was all a big joke. Anything. A quirk of her lips, a sparkle of mischief. But all Kara can do is stare at her, so sadly.

Alex's face falls.

She remembers, all at once, and Kara sees it break her.

The joy, and the vibrancy, leaves her eyes. She looks tired, and empty.

A weight settles on her shoulders. A weight that's been missing for weeks.

"Oh," she says, simply.

Kara stares at her.

Her walls haven't come up yet. If Kara's fast, she might be able to fix things, to make things better, before Alex locks herself down the way she does when things get hard. She just needs to say something.

Say _anything._

"Right."

Her hand falls from Kara's cheek.

She takes one step back, then another. She seems to realise where she is, and looks across at the DEO. Looks at Winn and Vasquez, who were _definitely_ within earshot of what Kara said.

Winn's face has frozen somewhere between shock and horror. And Vasquez is just looking at them both, so sadly.

Alex swallows. Her hands are shaking, and she still isn't looking at Kara. 

She just wants Alex to look at her.

"Alex. Please, wait, I can--"

Alex turns, stiffly, and walks to the elevator.

"Alex!"

The elevator doors open, and Alex steps into it.

She doesn't look back.


	15. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Three chapters in three days. I...don't know how this has happened._

She doesn't remember how she got into J'onn's office.

She thinks J'onn might have lead her here? Her arm feels a little cooler than usual, he might have guided her with a hand on her shoulder.

But that's really just a theory. It could have been anything.

Maybe she teleported.

Maybe it doesn't matter.

Maybe nothing matters.

"Kara," he says, softly. She barely hears him. It sounds like he's underwater.

Why is he underwater? They're in his office, being underwater seems silly.

Wait, no. If he was underwater he'd sound like bubbles.

Maybe she's the one who's underwater.

That sounds better. She belongs down here. Alex, on the surface, bright and carefree. And Kara down below. 

Drowning.

That sounds right.

"Kara," J'onn says, again. Closer, this time.

"Mm?" she asks.

Can it really be counted as asking a question when it's a monosyllabic noise unrecognisable as a word in any of the languages she speaks?

"I need you to look at me. Can you do that?"

What is he talking about? She's been looking at him the whole--oh. Right. No, she's been staring at the pen on his table this whole time.

It's a nice pen, in her defence.

She looks up, looking around the room until she finds J'onn. He's right in front of her. His hand's on her shoulder. Oh. That would explain why it was a little colder than usual. Martians run cooler than Kryptonians.

"I know this a lot, but I'd like you to talk me through what you're feeling. I think that it can help you."

He's right. 

That _is_ a lot.

Kara gives a half-shrug as she tries to work out what her thoughts are. To work out what she's feeling.

Her lips feel numb. She swallows a few times, and she's half-surprised she doesn't swallow water.

"I screwed up," she says, finally.

J'onn shakes his head in disagreement. "No. No, you didn't. You made the best of a hard situation. A situation I should never, ever have put you in, and I can never apologise enough for putting you and Alex through it."

"S'okay." She half-shrugs against his hand on her shoulder. "You were just protecting us."

No. Not us.

This was all about Supergirl. All about her secret identity. 

Alex went through all of this, for her.

"Protecting me," she corrects herself.

"I know that Alex would do anything for your safety. But this...this wasn't fair of me."

Alex would do anything to protect her.

Like a good big sister should.

And it's that thought, of course, that breaks through the haze. That breaches the water and punches her in the lungs until she's breathing in salt and brine.

She gasps and doubles over. Dropping to her knees and clutching her chest as she lets out a single painful, broken sob. It hurts like one of her ribs is being snapped in half, and digs into her lungs.

And like that, the floodgates are opened.

Kara doesn't even think about the fact that she's mixing her water-based metaphors. 

She just sobs, and weeps, and gasps in breath in a way she hasn't since she was a teenager who'd lost her whole world. 

J'onn crouches next to her, and wraps her in a hug. She's messing up his DEO uniform with tears, and she halfheartedly pushes him away.

His arms just tighten around her.

"I ruined _e-verything_ ," she manages.

Ruined everything like she always does.

"No."

She nods against him and wheezes in breath.

"No, Kara." He says, again, more firmly. "I'm so proud of you."

That makes her calm down, just a little.

She hiccups. "H-how can you be proud of me for this?"

J'onn strokes his fingers through her hair softly. Like her father used to do for her. Like Astra used to do for her. "I'm proud of you because you let yourself feel. You let yourself _want_ , in a way I don't think you ever allow yourself to do."

"Can't," she mumbles.

"But with Alex...you felt like it was worth it."

Kara nods, shakily.

"Do you love her, Kara?"

What sort of question is that?

What sort of person asks a question like that to a sobbing girl about her _sister?_

"Of _course_ I love her." 

She doesn't hesitate to tell the truth. The truth she hadn't even really accepted herself. But she knows, in her aching heart, that is _is_ the truth.

"I love her so much that it _hurts_. I want..." the words are coming now, and she can't stop them. "I want to bring her flowers at the end of a long day, and for her to act like it's annoying because she doesn't keep any vases in her apartment. I want her to save her last slice of pizza for me even though she wants it, because she knows that I'll be sad if she doesn't let me have a bite. I want to take her out to celebrate when she gets a promotion or when I publish an article, and I want..."

Oh, Rao.

"Oh, god." She whines. "I want everything, J'onn. I want to have everything with her, and I _screwed it all up_ and now I can't have _anything_."

J'onn's fingers stroke across her back and he gently moves her to her feet.

She stumbles a little, leaning harder against him.

"What makes you think you can't have any of that?"

What sort of question is _that_?

"Because I ruined everything. Because she hates me. Because I lied to her, and manipulated her, and--"

"Do you remember what I told you about emotions?"

She stops. 

Wracks her memory for any detail of that.

"Vaguely?"

"I told you that sometimes things just need a paradigm shift." J'onn takes a step back, both hands gripping her shoulders to hold her on her feet. "That feelings are always real, and that sometimes they're just only revealed by a shifting circumstance."

"Sounds fake," she responds, pettily.

J'onn rolls his eyes. "Being reminded of the truth is...going to be a lot for Alex. It's a big shift for her. But I promise you, you haven't ruined anything. Yet."

Okay. The _yet_ there is incredibly ominous. 

Like, really, J'onn? Seriously?

"What do you mean?"

"We know Alex. We know that, right now, she's reeling." J'onn lets go of Kara's shoulders, and when she doesn't immediately fall over, he takes a step backwards. "But, if there's one thing we know about Alex, it's that she can...spiral. When she's struggling with her negative emotions, she descends into self-hatred and self-destruction."

Kara makes a noise of acknowledgement. Yeah. She knows.

"So right now, she's reeling and confused. But in a little while, she'll start to spiral. She'll convince herself...that she pushed you into this. That she ruined everything - just like you're convincing yourself that you've ruined everything - and that she made you do things you didn't want in order to preserve your identity."

Oh.

That. Yeah. Yeah, that sounds exactly like Alex to do, to be honest.

"...You might have a point there."

J'onn rolls his eyes and flicks her forehead. "I have a point, and you know it. So there's one question I have to ask you, before I let you go."

She nods, again. She's been doing that a lot.

"Are you going to let her spiral into self-loathing, and let this relationship slip away from you? To let her push you away because she's convinced she took advantage of you, and to let yourself drift away because you're already convinced you ruined everything?" He crosses his arms over his chest. "Or are you going to go after her, and give you both a chance at the happiness I know you can give one another?"

Kara swallows.

She stares at J'onn.

A chance at happiness. They have that. He thinks they have that - that things could be okay.

"Well?" he asks, with a quirk of his eyebrow

"...I'm thinkin' about it."

_ _ _

Alex isn't answering her phone, or her comms.

She isn't at her apartment.

She isn't at the Alien Bar, either.

She isn't at J'onn's place, or Vasquez's, or at any of her old dive bars. She isn't even at the clubs Kara knows Alex used to go to during college.

Kara settles for searching the city manually, after checking the last club. She flies across the city, ears attuned for any hint of Alex's heartbeat. She knows her heart. She'll find her, sooner or later.

Because she needs to talk to her.

Needs to explain...

Explain what, exactly? That it was real? 

She hopes Alex knows that, already.

But what if Alex's feelings _weren't_ real? 

What if J'onn was wrong? What if the reason Alex is avoiding her isn't sadness and surprise? What if it's disgust, at Kara?

No. She can't think like this. She can't do this to herself. She needs to find Alex, and talk to her, and explain. If Alex chooses to hate her and be disgusted by her after that...okay. She can live with that.

(She doesn't think she can, really. But she needs, more than anything, to explain. She can't let things stay like this.)

She can't find any trace of Alex's heartbeat, and starting to lose hope. Maybe she should go back home, and change into her Kara clothes, and check the bars again.

She sighs, hovering over the DEO building, and flies her way to her loft.

She slips through the curtains, stepping through.

...And almost walks right into Alex.

Alex, who's curled up on Kara's couch, wearing Kara's sweater. Her sleeves are pulled down over her palms, and she's picking at them idly.

Kara's eyes widen. "Alex!"

Alex looks up. She stares at Kara, looking at her clothing and her arrival through the window. "Right. Of course." She closes her eyes, and takes a slow breath through her nose. "Kara," she greets, evenly.

"Alex, please, just let me explain. I've been searching all over the city for you, I went to your old dive bars, I went to your apartment, I even went to the clubs you went to when you were in college and _wow_ those things are--"

"Kara." Alex says. Her jaw clenches. "Just…let me say this, okay?"

Kara frowns a little, but nods.

"I'm sorry."

And there it is. What Kara was afraid of.

"I took advantage of you, and I pushed you into...into things I never should have."

Alex rubs at her eyes, and lets her head fall back against the couch.

"You're my sister, and I... my feelings got so confused by the mind wipe, that I let it all get..." She groans. Hits the side of her head with her palm. "I let it get _so_ messed up, and I didn't even realise. I pushed you into something you didn't want. That you couldn't want."

Kara swallows. Hard.

Is she too late?

"So...I'm sorry. I pushed you into something you didn't want. And I...I can never apologise enough for everything that I did. The ways I took advantage of you, the things that I did. The things that I _said_."

Kara swallows, and blinks back tears.

"And...I know that you might never want to see me again after this, and I can give you all the space you need. But...but if you ever want me to be your sister? Then...I can do that. And I promise nothing will change."

Kara can't take this any more.

She can't take Alex talking like this, like she's responsible for any of this. Like it was all a mistake. Like it's something to be forgotten.

"What if I want things to change?"

Alex stops her self-loathing tirade. She blinks.

"I'm not sorry for kissing you." There's more strength in her voice than she thought she'd be able to muster when admitting to that.

There it is. It's out there, for the world to see. 

Well. 

Just for Alex to see at the moment, but. The world someday. Maybe. Hopefully.

"I'm not sorry for taking you on dates. I'm not sorry for showing you all the affection I have for you. And... I'm... I'm not sorry for loving you."

Kara swallows, roughly. Blinks until her vision clears. She can't bring herself to look at Alex as she admits to all of this.

"Everything I did? Everything I said? It was all real." From the start, if she's being honest with herself. "None of it...none of it was me playing with you, or trying to hurt you. I know it hurt you anyway, but I promise... I promise I never wanted to."

The silence is deafening, and she hates it. She just wants Alex to say something.

"And if...if you want things to go back to how they were, they can. If your feelings were just from the mind wipe, then...then I can never apologise enough for taking advantage of you like that. But if--"

 

"Kara." Alex interrupts. "Shut up."

Kara shuts up.

She dares to look at Alex.

Alex is looking away now, but there's a look on her face. Something...resolute. It isn't disgust, Kara doesn't think. So that's hopeful, at least. A little.

"When... When Maggie helped me realise I-- I'm gay, I looked back at my childhood." Alex's voice still breaks a little on _gay_ , and she swallows. "I thought of girls I'd liked, and crushes I'd avoided thinking about."

She looks up, and meets Kara's eyes.

"The one person I didn't think about…was _you._ "

Kara stops breathing.

"I never really wanted a sister. I've told you that before – we argued about it enough when you first arrived. And suddenly - there you were!" Alex gestures loosely. "This _amazing_ young woman who'd lost everything, and had the power to change the world. And Eliza… Mom just kept saying it. Over and over. 'Be nice to your sister, Alex'. 'Look after your sister, Alex'. 'Make sure your sister doesn't reveal her powers, Alex'."

Alex's fingers tug and pick at her sleeves, and Kara idly notices that that's a nervous habit they share.

Not really the time to have that particular epiphany, but Kara'll take 'em where she can get 'em.

Alex sighs.

"Anything we could have been... Anything I might have been able to feel?" She lets go of the sleeves, and digs her nails into her palm. "I buried. I buried it deeper than anything else. Deeper than Vicki, deeper than my grief for Jeremiah."

Alex takes a slow breath. Kara can see the tears pricking at her eyes, and it breaks her heart.

"But then _this_ happened." She taps the side of her head, as if she blames her own mind for everything. "And for the first time in my life, I was able to see you without my Mom's voice in my head. A-and... and I loved you." 

Kara freezes.

"I loved you so goddamn much, for everything you were."

"Alex..." Kara says.

"I'm not finished," Alex cuts her off. "Because... do you wanna know the worst part?" The tears are flowing now, Alex looking anywhere but at her, just trying to keep going. Trying to keep saying what she came here to say. "The worst part isn't that you knew who we were this whole time. It isn't that I kissed you. It isn't even that I humiliated myself in front of the entire DEO." 

She lets out a sob, shoulders shaking. 

"The worst part is that…now? Now that I remember who you really are?" Her voice cracks as she speaks. Kara tries to step forwards, every instinct telling her to offer comfort, but Alex pulls back, wraps her arms over her chest to hold herself together. 

"Now that I remember who you are?" The cracks in her voice break further apart, but she keeps going. Like she needs to finish saying this. "It feels like I love you even more."

Oh.

_"How are we supposed to fix this, Kara?"_

Alex breaks, finally. She starts crying, ugly tears and pained sobs as she half-tries to hide her face in her hands. Like she's ashamed to be feeling. Ashamed of her feelings for Kara.

And Kara can't help it.

She steps forwards, and wraps her arms around Alex and holds her as she curls in on herself and sobs.

Alex murmurs a quiet "no," and shakes her head, but doesn't try to pull away.

"Alex..." Kara says, quietly. "Can I speak now?"

There's a few moments of crying without a response, and then Alex gives a shaky nod.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I messed up, and took advantage of you, and dove into this when you didn't know what you were getting into."

She swallows. "I messed up, badly. I know that. And I know this is scary, and the worst way any of this could have happened, and I'm so, so sorry."

"It hurts so much, Kar," Alex gasps. "I feel. I feel s-so _humiliated_. I feel like such an _idiot._ "

"No. No, Alex, you're not an idiot. I'm so proud of you."

"I kissed my _sister_ in front of half the DEO. I'm pretty sure I'm an idiot."

"You didn't know. I knew, and I did it anyway. Because I wanted to. And...I'm sorry that that's hurting you, now."

Alex takes a shaky breath, and pushes Kara away. Slowly. Encouraging her to move to sit next to her, instead of holding her. 

Kara obliges, since it seems like gentle encouragement rather than Alex trying to isolate herself.

"You asked me on a date." Alex says, seriously. "You -- you kissed me. And that was...that was all real?"

Kara bites her lip. And nods, slowly. "All of it."

"You're telling me...that you have feelings for me."

Kara nods again.

"...Huh."

Kara nods, once again. Just for good measure. That's a pretty good summary of the situation, yeah. Huh.

"I'm...I need time." Alex digs her nails into her palms again. "This is a _lot_. It's a lot to deal with, and there's so much I still need to mentally work through, but..."

She rubs her eyes. 

"But I don't hate the idea."

Kara risks a tentative, cautious smile. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. It's...I mean, it's _terrifying_ , and I'm half-convinced all our friends will judge me and think I'm some...incestuous monster taking advantage of her sister. But...we're two adult foster siblings."

"And I'm an alien," Kara reminds her, softly.

"Yeah. That too."

"Who gives a damn what people say about it, right?"

Kara gives Alex a look. "You do. You give many damns about it."

Alex rolls her eyes and shoves Kara's shoulder. Then she pauses. 

A thought seems to occur to her, and she bites her lip.

"Go change into your normal clothes. And put your glasses on."

...Okay.

That isn't exactly what Kara was expecting Alex to say.

But she isn't about to say no. So she nods, and obliges. Moving at human speed to her bedroom before superspeeding into a change of comfy Sunday clothes and walking out again. Her hair is tied back messily, and she pushes her glasses up on her face with a nervous smile.

And Alex's heart rate jumps.

Alex's heart rate honest-to-Rao _jumps_.

Kara could sing.

"Hey," she says, instead of singing.

Alex gets to her feet and walks over, slowly. Her hands are _still_ messing with her sleeves, but she makes it all the way to Kara without any sort of incident or new crying jag.

"Hey."

She's obviously been crying. 

Her eyes are red and puffy, and there are tear tracks all across her cheeks at rough angles.

Kara thinks she looks beautiful.

"Can I kiss you?" Alex asks.

Kara's breath catches.

"I just- I need to see." Alex explains. "My feelings are so confused right now, and I don't...I don't know what I'm feeling, but I think..." She stares at Kara intently. Too intently. "...I think I want to kiss you."

Kara nods, silent. Then realises that verbal consent is important, too. "Yes," she says, and she's surprised her voice comes out as steady as it does.

"Just...stay still, okay?" Alex says, softly.

Her fingers move to trail over Kara's cheek.

They run across her cheekbones, to her jaw. Brushing across her lips, then making their way back up. Bumping against Kara's glasses, before Alex trails a finger along the lead-lined frame. 

She smudges the edge of one lens a little, but Kara can clean that later.

She leans in, and she kisses Kara.

It's soft. Softer than Alex's first kiss with Supergirl - that was bolstered by half-drunk enthusiasm and courage. _Much_ softer than their kiss outside the alien bar, fueled by Kara's acceptance of her feelings.

Alex's lips just barely press against Kara's, ghosting across them so faintly she can barely feel them at all.

She pulls back, just a little. Exhales, her breath hitting Kara's lips. Then moves in to kiss her again. It's still so, so agonisingly soft, and Kara does her best to match Alex's motions without moving too much. An instinct within her wants to grab Alex by the waist, and her fingers twitch, but she holds herself back. Keeps herself still. Just moves her lips against Alex's.

Alex makes some sort of breathy noise that does things to Kara, and pushes further. Her pulse spikes. Or maybe Kara's does. It's hard to know the difference, when they're so close together. Maybe both of their pulses do. 

Alex steps closer, getting rid of what little personal space there was between the two of them, and her hands move to stroke through Kara's tied-back hair. One finger bumps Kara's glasses, knocking them askew.

"Sorry," Alex murmurs, between kisses, and Kara laughs.

The backs of Alex's legs hit the arm of the couch, and then they're tumbling over it in a mass of limbs.

Somehow a blanket gets tangled up with them.

Alex laughs this time, and it turns into a gasp as Kara finally lets her hands settle on Alex's waist.

The bobble of Kara's hair is the first victim, tugged loose and tossed aside. But then Alex is knotting her fingers in Kara's hair, and she can't bring herself to mind.

Kara murmurs her approval.

A lock of her hair ends up in Alex's mouth and she spits it out, sticking her tongue out. They both start giggling until Kara sweeps her fringe to one side to get her hair out of the way.

Alex moves back a little, and her fingers trail over Kara's cheek.

Kara opens her eyes, raising an eyebrow to question why the kisses have stopped, to find Alex staring at her with something approaching reverence.

"So beautiful."

She kisses her again.

Kara's fingertips stroke at the skin of Alex's sides as softly as she can manage, and Alex settles her hand at the nape of Kara's neck.

Alex pulls back, and rests her forehead against Kara's.

And they just stay in that moment, for a while. Eyes closed. Breathing shaky.

Kara opens her eyes.

Alex seems as affected as she is. Her cheeks, already pink from her crying, have flushed to an almost ridiculously bright red, and her heart is beating so erratically that Kara's sure that even a human would be able to hear it from this distance.

"Did that clear anything up?" Kara asks, softly.

Alex laughs a little and lets her thumb trail over Kara's lips "...Yeah. Yeah, I think it straightened out a few things."

They're quiet for a few seconds.

And then, ever so softly.

"...Like the fact that we aren't."

"Jesus _Christ_ , Kara."

_ _ _

Kara goes to sleep with a smudge on her glasses and a smile on her face.

_ _ _

Sunday, November 20th.

It's a sister night.

Kara brushes her hair to one side, then to the other. Then gives up and just ties it back.

She's not sure why she's so worried. It's just a sister night, and she's just meeting Alex. No big deal.

...Except for the part where it's a huge, scary deal because they need to work out what _sister nights_ mean for them, now. They need to work out whether they want to relabel vast parts of their life. Date nights?

Kara wrinkles her nose in her mirror. She doesn't like the sound of that. She _likes_ having sister nights with Alex.

She doesn't want that to change.

She pulls the hair bobble out of her hair again and messes up her hair a little.

No.

Alex doesn't want this. Alex just wants her to be _herself_. Her normal, dorky self, wearing comfy clothes (she half-eyes-up one of her nicer blouses, before adjusting her comfy sweater) and having a relaxing night to watch Netflix, and chill.

That's.

Uh.

A night to chill and to watch Netflix.

N-not the _other_ thing.

Her phone buzzes.

She ties her hair back and picks it up from her bed.

Schottfun -  
How're things going with you and Alex?  
Received - 18:18 Sunday

She snorts. She's glad Winn's jumped right from confusion and shock to unwavering support in his classic Winn way.

They're not ready to share anything with the others yet, but...Winn knew already. 

And he's good at keeping Kara's secrets when they're important enough. Not most of the time, but...this one counts.

You -   
Ask me again tomorrow morning. ;)  
Sent - 18:19 Sunday

Schottfun -  
GIRL  
Received - 18:19 Sunday

She laughs and slips her phone into her pocket.

She's about to pull the bobble out of her hair again when there's a knock on the door.

She squeaks a little and superspeeds to the front door, wrenching it open.

Alex is there, pizzas balanced in one arm and beers dangling from her other hand. She's got an eyebrow raised, quizzically, and an amused smirk on her lips.

Rao, she's gorgeous.

(Okay, yes, Kara might have been a little eager to see Alex.)

"Y'know, I swear you arrange for Jessy to arrive at the same time I do, just so I always have to pay."

Kara takes the pizzas out of Alex's hands and shrugs. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

She puts the pizzas down next to the couch, and looks back just in time to see Alex sticking her tongue out. 

It's emotionally devastating this time, too.

"Come on! It feels like it's been weeks since I've had a Jessica Jones fix!"

Alex laughs and shrugs her jacket off, kicking the door closed behind her. "At least let me get through the front door first, goof."

"Jessice Jones! Now! _Weeks!_ "

Alex moves to flop on the couch next to Kara, placing beer in front of them. 

She maybe flops herself just a tiny bit closer than she and Kara usually started out. 

(They always ended up leaning against one another either way, but...this was a nicer starting point.)

"Y'know, I've kind of had a lot of drama going on in my life recently. Watching Netflix took a bit of a back seat."

Kara gives Alex a sideways glance. "Oh, really?"

Alex's eyes are sparkling with mischief as she snaps the bottlecap from a beer and takes a long, slow drink.

Kara's eyes flick down to her throat.

"Yeah," she answers, after a few moments. "This really nice girl started being interested in me. Things were kind of rough there for a while, but...I think everything's going to be okay now."

"Sounds like she got pretty lucky," Kara says, clinking their beers together. "But I'm thankful everything worked out."

Oh.

_Shoot._

Kara freezes up.

"What?"

"So, uh. Speaking of that..."

Alex seems concerned. "What's up?"

"You know how you said you think everything's going to be okay now?" Kara tries her best to smile encouragingly.

Alex doesn't seem convinced, and Kara decides the best route is probably just to pull the bandaid off.

"It's Thanksgiving in four days."

Alex's face drops.

"Eliza's coming to town."

"Oh, mother _fu--_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _This...this is the end, you guys._
> 
> _I've set the chapter number to 15/16, because I'm planning on a small epilogue, to celebrate the 1 year anniversary of me publishing the first chapter (which is coming up pretty fast). But...this is the end of this story._
> 
> _Thank you. Thank all of you, so much, from the very bottom of my heart. You have all stuck with me through a lot of changes in my life, through a lot of delays, through this story literally becoming_ canon, _and through my absolutely ridiculous updating schedule. 7 chapters in 7 weeks, 7 chapters over 7 months, and 3 chapters in 3 days. Yeah, that's Normal._
> 
> _I've made some amazing friends through this community and this fanfic, and...and I really want to thank every single one of you for your comments and your kudos and even to all of you who've read this and not left kudos or comments and who've just quietly enjoyed this story. You all mean the world to me, and without you...I wouldn't be here today. There's no way I'd have stuck with this through almost 80,000 words and ten months. Or maybe I would have, but...I wouldn't have had nearly as much fun._
> 
> _I love you all, so much. I love this fandom so much. And I just want to thank you all, from the bottom of my heart, for joining me on this journey._
> 
> _A huge, huge thank you to my fiancée and dedicated beta reader, Nanocytix. Without her, this story wouldn't have been anything close to what it is._
> 
> _And...screw it, why not. Thank you to coffeehousehaunt for leaving the very first comment on this fic, to dare121and queersintherain for being two of my biggest supporters, to the whole Kalex Discord for collectively screaming when the mind wipe happened on the show, and to Alsike for writing Knives and Fire: National City, which is still one of the most delightful AUs I've ever had the pleasure of reading despite me having absolutely no knowledge of cooking shows or of cooking. Kara hits Alex in the face with a fish. Please read it._
> 
> _It's been a hell of a ride._
> 
> _Love, Dax._


End file.
